Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Teen Pregnancy-The Happening

Someone add this to the list of things I've never done: had a baby as a teenager.

Teen Pregnancy-The Happening

Okay. Don't jump me, but I think the concept of teens getting pregnant is stupid. Ever heard of condoms? Birth control? Plan B (Emergency Contraceptive)? And sadly these are readily available to kids of all ages. Hell, they were available to the max when I was in school, so I know y'all got some good shit now.

If they're underage and at a party where they are drinking, then obviously they have access to someone that can get them these lovely, lifesaving items.

So why the hell do half the young characters in the romance or teen fiction section wind up pregnant?

How come none of these fantastic inventions ever appear in stories? There can be these heinously graphic sex scenes, but no one bothers to take preventive measures..

Don't yell at me. I went to a high school that had a record breaking number of teen pregnancies. (Seriously, they did a statewide report and we came out on top...we were also one of the smallest schools in the state...so...yeah). I knew a girl that had a baby in seventh grade...she had her second child sophomore year. That was crazy. (That's also slightly irrelevant)

Honestly, do these kids not have to take a health class? Did they ever watch Mean Girls?

"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise?"

Seriously, folks!

But I, unlike the countless motivational speakers that weaseled their way into our health classes, do not believe all teens can stay abstinent. And I don't think they should have to. 

Don't get me wrong. Sex is an awesome thing. It's incredibly powerful and meaningful and just amazing and sometimes it's just fun. 

STDs, STIs, and teen pregnancy are not.

Do y'all know how long it takes to get a condom? They sell them in bathrooms everywhere. Even in the ladies room...right next to the tampons. Come on, people. Don't you have a quarter?

Besides, guys usually keep a couple in their wallets, especially if they're going to party. (Which, this is my PSA for the day. Do NOT keep them in wallets. It wears on them and can make little tears. Those are BAD. So, keep 'em in the box, kiddies. And keep 'em in your car if you're going partying (but don't stash them there, because temperature changes are baaad). Also, don't use two. That makes them weaker and more susceptible to breaking. Now you know. If you must do it, do it safely.)

Honestly, I could ask any one of my guy friends if they have a condom and I could find a million. At least.

Do you know how long it takes to use a condom? Definitely not the lifetime it takes to raise a child!

As one of the assistant football coaches at my school used to preach "Wrap it before you tap it boys."

And I get that they're only 97% effective. And sometimes they break. And sometimes the pill doesn't work (only if you forget!).

But in every other story on Wattpad? That's mathematically improbable.

And the dad is either incredibly supportive or a total dick about the matter.

Excuse me, sir. It takes two to make a baby. Own up, asshole. You're the lazy bastard that couldn't be troubled with a condom.

I'm just like my sophomore history teacher. She didn't want kids and neither do I. Ever.

So my philosophy? You can't go wrong using birth control and a condom!

Sometimes people say "we were drunk and it just happened."

Lemme introduce you to your new friend. This is called Plan B, the morning after pill, Emergency Contraceptive. Whatever you wish to call it. That's for when you've already screwed up (hahaha, I'm so clever! Get it?)

Of course, there are the religions that disagree with that type of thing. And that's totally fine.

Own up to your mistake and take care of the child. Power to you! But don't bitch about it. You did it to yourself if you willingly had sex without protection.

I hate when the character uses the line "I can't believe this happened."

I can.

And you know what? I know a lot of girls that ended up as teen moms and they are fantastic. I have TONS of respect for those girls, so really, I'm not bashing every teen mom. I'm bashing the ones that act like they didn't deserve to have that happen to them. If you have sex and can't be bothered to prevent this "issue", you deserve it.

Also, has anyone ever heard of FAS? Look it up if your character goes to a party, gets drunk, and then gets pregnant.

For once, I'd like to see teens use protection. That's all I want.

OR (as crazy as this sounds) I'd like to see a girl get pregnant on purpose. I can name at least five girls from my high school that got pregnant on purpose, but I can't name very many on Wattpad. The ones I knew were strange, but hey! It's original!

You might think that's crazy (and it is), but seriously, let's be original here.

And teen moms, don't yell at me and say "You're a stupid bitch. You're being totally insensitive. My child is the best thing that ever happened to me."

If you could stay in school, raise a child and give it the care and love that it needs, I think you're amazing! Honestly! I can't even take care of myself, let alone another living being! Lucky for me, dogs are much easier to raise than children.

So, I think you're awesome. But I don't think these whiny characters bitching about their accidents are. Sorry, I just don't.