Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Sensitive Topics

I'm livid. Honestly, I'm so fucking annoyed right now, you don't even know.

Can we just talk very seriously for a moment? And I feel as though I'm going to piss off a bunch of people, but I give zero fucks about that.

We're going to touch on: Sensitive Topics

Now, I thought I'd already covered this with the abuse rants and the sexual assault rants and the saving life rant, and the makeover rant, and the body image rant, but apparently I'm nothing more than a goddamn poster child now.

I got an email about a discussion going on in the clubs about how we should ban all rape glorification stories, and I actually read the entire thread. And it irritated me. Like a lot.

Not because they wanted to ban those types of stories. No. That I agreed with (to an extent (who am I to tell people their weird, twisted fantasies are always wrong?)).

It annoyed me how apparently anyone that has experienced the "r" word (goddammit, Wattpad. Please don't rate this) fits nicely into little categories of either victims or survivors.

And apparently we all have to be terrified of men, can't have a meaningful relationship with people anymore, have to be totally open with our pasts, and cannot under any circumstances ever be exposed to anything remotely connected to this sensitive subject because we can't handle ourselves.

Bull-fucking-shit. Don't try to group everyone into one nice little category.

That made me incredibly angry. More so than people trying to psychoanalyze me. I fucking hate when people tell me how I have to be. I hate it.

Don't treat me differently. Don't act like I'm some fragile little doll, because I'm not. I handled this shit for over fourteen years without sympathy from the self-righteous, I can handle it now. I don't need to be protected. Shit, I don't need to be vocal. I shouldn't have to be an advocate.

Don't tell me to go educate people on these hard subjects so that they get it. I don't want people to understand how I live. I can't want that, because it would make me truly evil to want that. I'd never wish it on anyone.

I don't want to be understood. I just want to live my life.

And above all, don't tell me how I have to act. Don't tell me that I have to hate everyone. Don't tell me I have to cry about it all the time or that I'll never be able to have a real relationship again because I just don't trust men.

Don't you ever tell anyone they have to stop being a "victim" and start being a "survivor". Some people never get over this and you have no right to ever tell them they're being weak and pathetic because they can't just "get over it". Fuck you. Seriously. You can just rot in hell if you feel that way. Fuck. You.

Don't act like my best friend is a saint and that I'm so strong, because I'm not.

Nothing gets me more than people actling like I'm a hero. I'm so far from it. So don't, because it's awful trying to be the hero. Truly. I'm going to suffocate from all this pressure. It literally makes me physically sick, because I just do what I have to in order to get by.

And apparently I'm a bitch for not telling people they deserve to die for some of the things they write.

I've probably cried more over the fact that people put so much faith in me—faith I don't deserve—than I have because of what happened.

Stop trying to make people heros. Just stop.

I tried to touch on this last night. I tried and tried and tried.

Not everyone acts and reacts the same.

How much clearer can I be? Seriously.

Not everyone fits into these pretty little boxes we can label and store away with all the other boxes just like them.