Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Dystopian Stories

I just finished this unit with my seventh graders, so I feel totally prepared for today's subject: Dystopian Stories

Honestly, I didn't cover this sooner, because I thought it was on the way out the popularity door. Boy, was I ever wrong. They keep making new ones and people don't seem to be getting bored. But, hey, I never claimed to be good at predicting literary trends. I did, however, have the uncanny ability to predict homecoming and prom dress trends when I was in high school. Seriously. I was never wrong. Every dress I had for homecoming and prom my last three years, ended up being the most popular style for the same event the following year. Yeah. I like to think I was the trend setter there.

We seem to have gotten off topic. Let's get back to the rant. (Are these even rants anymore? Or is this just me giving shitty advice? I vote the latter.)

First I think we need to start by defining dystopia. It, my lovelies, is an imaginary place where things are bad. Typically, it's run by a totalitarian government, an oppressive society, or a corrupt corporation. A lot of people get confused about the definition and claim that dystopias don't have to be bad. But, by definition they do. Otherwise they would be utopias. Good? Great. Now we can get to the list:

1. "The Chosen One"

Have you ever noticed there's always just that super special person that manages to take down the entire failed government system (which will be what I complain about in the next number)? Like, how the hell do you do that? I get that it's an awesome message: one voice standing up for what is right can make a difference. But at the same time, why can't promoting cooperation and teamwork be just as powerful of a message?

Let me put this in perspective for you. A lot of people view school as a totalitarian government (because we'll pretend loco parentis isn't a thing). So when was the last time you, by yourself, got something changed in school? Probably didn't happen unless there was a group of people supporting you, right? In my high school, we had a billion and five petitions go around for everything, and we never saw a change.

The only time we ever managed to change anything was the rule that you couldn't wear shorts. Once, this girl got sent home for wearing shorts (and they were to her knee). So the next day, my best friend showed up to our class wearing the shorts from his cross country uniform (and lemme just tell you, I threatened to quit cross country, because the shorts of the uniforms were so short our assess were literally showing when we wore them. Good thing we did a lot of squats). And when he got sent to the office, they gave him detention (because he refused to change and it wasn't like his dad was going to pick him up and the principal got tired of looking at those gorgeously long legs).

But they were kind of caught in an awkward situation, because it was obviously hypocritical, right? A girl couldn't wear midthigh shorts, but our athletes were being made to wear shorts that were smaller than most of my underwear. C'mon.

So the next day, all the people with cross country uniforms wore their shorts to class. And we all got in trouble. And the next day, the entire athletic department wore shorts to class. And eventually, the faculty decided we could wear shorts, as long as they were midthigh. (They also got us new uniforms for the next season, which were only slightly longer).

And I'll be honest with you. I didn't necessarily like all the people in the athletic department that joined in our little protest. But that was part of the fun. That's what made it so important. Even though I hated some of the soccer players (okay, just one, and it was only because he cheated on me. Sue me), we all worked together to make something happen.

But the first girl to get in trouble didn't change anything. My best friend didn't change anything. The cross country teams didn't change anything. A group of students who didn't always get along, but somehow managed to come together for something they believed in, changed it.