Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Subtle Clues

Edit five years after the rant was written: we were so cute I wanna throw myself off a bridge. Commence with young Addy blabbing away and pretending to be helpful.

So today's rant is actually more of a (true) story, but it has a million lessons in it if only you would bother to pay attention. But, for now, we'll tarp it under one big category.

Let's talk about: Subtle Clues

Okay, so there's this crazy girl; she's about five years older than I am, but I've known her since we were kids. Now, it's one of those classic stories where her brother was kind of the "golden child" and she was overlooked. Well, to combat that, she started pretending to be crazy.

And it worked.

She convinced herself she was crazy sometime at the end of middle school, beginning of high school.

And this has been going on for quite some time now—about 13 years.

She's also gotten in the habit of coming, every Monday night, to the restaurant where I work. I've worked there forever with my best friend, so we know all the regulars and for the past two years, she's been a regular. And she always sits in my best friend's section, so he knows her regular order.

But last night she switched it up. She didn't order her hamburger with extra pickles and no lettuce, mustard on the side...she got spaghetti...and garlic bread.

Why is this important?

Well, about eight months ago, when the restaurant was basically empty and my best friend and I were going around chatting with our two customers (gotta get tips!) she decided to confide in us that she is a werewolf.

And she was serious.

She really thought she was a werewolf which is why she came in early on Monday's when there was a full moon...so she wouldn't have to "wolf-out" in the middle of the restaurant. No shit. She said it.

And, y'all don't know my best friend, but he loves practical jokes. And it wasn't until yesterday that he admitted what he's been doing to her for eight months.

He's been convincing her that he's actually a vampire.

I kid you not. And I'll tell you how he did it. He spent five whole minutes researching vampire myths (and he read Dracula once upon a time) and ever since then he's been applying this knowledge to his actions around her.

He started by never walking by the windows when she would come in.

When he wanted something to drink he always had a bottle of red Gatorade, or any red liquid really. (I once watched him put red food coloring in a water bottle and put tap water in it.)

Then, he started rubbing his canine teeth with his tongue really obnoxiously (which was perfect, because those suckers look kinda sharp anyway).

Once he told her to "watch that stake...I mean. Careful with the pencil. It looks sharp" when she snatched a pencil out of her pocket and started drawing one of her little anime figures.

One day, when he was cleaning the table beside her, he accidentally (on purpose) spilled some "holy" water on his hand and pretended it burned him.

Another time when he was busing a table, he spilled a little salt and sat there counting every grain until she left.

My favorite was when I asked him about the burn on his arm and he said "the goddamn sun was a little brighter than I thought". (Because I thought he was joking with me, and I so blindly went with it.)

Or maybe it was when he put ketchup in the corner of his mouth and kept walking by her. (I had no idea why he was doing that, but he seemed pretty set on the idea).

Then there was the time he "secretly" (but loud enough for the crazy girl to hear) asked me to take care of the "lady with the cross sitting by the window".

But last night, it all came together. When she ordered her spaghetti he asked me to bring her the garlic bread separate. Naturally I had to ask why he couldn't take it to her, and he finally told me. Vampires don't do garlic according to Bram Stoker.

He spent eight months making sure to do all that when she came in. Five minutes of research and eight months of dropping clues.

Of course I'd noticed him doing it. Kind of strange when your best friend walks painstakingly around the light from the windows for about thirty minutes every Monday night. But when he finally told me everything, it all made sense. I was kicking myself for not catching on sooner! I'd noticed all of it, but it didn't make sense until he brought it all together with that big action.

And she had too, but she wasn't going to confront him. She had to test it and what better way than ordering garlic?

So here's the idea: carefully drop clues throughout your stories.

Every story needs a twist, but you also need to set that twist up properly. It's pointless when the whole story is about how Bobby and Becky are in love and it's perfect, then three chapters from the ending he ends up with Cancer and it's a tragic twist.

Yeah, it's a surprise, but it's totally uncalled for.

Mention him getting sick. Mention how pale he's starting to look or how much weight he's lost. But don't make it so obvious what's wrong with him. Do it all in passing. "Bobby said he wasn't feeling well, so instead I had a girl's day with [insert friend's name here]." Not "Bobby was so sick and I was worried. What's wrong with him? Does he have Cancer?"

That way, when you finally do let it out, your readers are going to hate themselves for not catching it sooner. Then you know what they'll do? They'll reread to see what else they missed. And the little wheels will start turning.

That has been the most enticing part of writing Number Six. I loved getting to drop clues. And it's even more fun to unravel them. I'm enjoying it so much and you will too!

And it just makes your story flow so easily! Every loose end will be all tied up!

Next, let's talk about research. Research is crucial. It is singlehandedly the most important part of your story.

You can have well developed characters, a perfect setting, and a kickass plot, but just one wrong fact will tear the whole thing apart and turn your piece into a bad story.

If my friend hadn't researched vampires then his entire plan would have fallen apart. And it took him five minutes. (However, I suggest you spend longer.)

But look how great this story is. He took the time to research and he took the time to drop clues. And it is epic.

Obviously, the crazy girl caught on faster than the rest of us (because she's used to being on the lookout for vampires), but my coworkers and I were dying. We should have known, but we didn't.

And when it all came together it was perfection. Everything made so much sense and it was like a weight we didn't even know was on our shoulders was lifted off.

So do that with your story.

Do your research. Make sure you have every detail planned exactly as it would happen; especially if you're going to play with fantasies like werewolves or vampires. Know the history. Know what made the concept of them arise in the first place and why that is crucial in your story.

And.

Drop hints that will make your reader kick themselves for not seeing sooner, but don't be obnoxious about it and info dump. It took my best friend eight whole months to accomplish all this, so naturally he took it slow. Just present a little at a time.

And there's more in this story, so I'll refer back to it in later rants. This is just a lovely start and finish for now!

I'm seriously considering letting him bite me...just to see her reaction.

I'll let you know how it goes. Probably in the chapter where we discuss vampires.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed that little story as much as I enjoyed telling it. And hopefully you learned. This was a nice, polite lesson. You don't get a lot of those, so love it while it lasts!