Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Why Female Characters Suck

Guess whose best friend didn't get to come back when he was supposed to and now it's been well over a year since she's seen his wonderful face in the flesh. But I'm not bitter. Not at all.

And I'm definitely not trying to keep myself busy so I forget all about it. No. That's not what's happening at all. That's not why I've blown through a pretty good chunk of my critiques list lately. No way.

No wonder I'm in a mood to rant (not that I'm not always bitter about something). So today let's talk about: Why Female Characters Suck

Short answer: they don't suck at all. I'm just really bitter at the moment.

Anyway, you wanna know what the absolute biggest problem with female characters is? It's not when they're weak. It's not when they're arrogant. It's not even when they change for the worst. The absolute biggest problem (in my humble opinion) is the lack of female characters supporting each other on Wattpad. This is something that's been getting on my nerves for a while around here and I'm ready to address it, because I think it's something I need to work on too.

What do I mean by all this? I mean that on Wattpad, the MC is typically a female (rad). And that female goes through the ups and downs like any good character should. But what I've noticed is, there is very little positive interactions between female characters. I'll show you what I mean by breaking it up into subheadings, as per my usual:

1. The Villain

In a striking 98% of teen fiction stories here on Wattpad (I totally made that number up and I'm sure it's a gross misrepresentation, but stay with me) the villain ends up being a female. Typically it's in the form of some slutty, queen bitch character that is a super hot boyfriend stealer that sleeps with anything that has a pulse and a penis.

And this cliché also bleeds into every other genre (though she doesn't always have to fit the queen bitch stereotype, but she usually is a boyfriend stealer). And I hate this.

There are a lot of kickass female villains that are extremely well written and wonderfully portrayed. And I think it would be incredibly counterproductive of me to suggest you make every single villain a male. That's stupid. That's not at all what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is, I'm tired of seeing these girls be so vicious to each other over what? Jealousy. It all comes down to jealousy. They get jealous of the MC's looks, boyfriend, popularity. Whatever it is, they're jealous of the MC and that turns them into a villain. Does that make sense? No. It doesn't.

You know what I wanna see? I wanna see a female villain that is only attacking the MC because she has it on bad account that the MC wronged her in some way. Or, perhaps, the plot twist is the villain girl finds out the the MC isn't the one who wronged her and she teams up with the MC to set everything straight and get her revenge or whatever. I dunno. Something stupid like that. (Is it just me or have my suggestions gotten more and more horrible over the years? Thanks for sticking around through all this shit, y'all. You're the real heroes here).

Or maybe I'd like to see more of that thing where female friends drift apart (it happens even to adults, yo). And then the conflict in the story is trying to find a new group of friends to fit in with.

My point is: if you're going to have a female villain, please make sure she has a valid reason to be a villain. And not one that "she's prettier than me." "She's dating the guy I want." "She has more friends than I do."

2. The Lack of Female Friendships

This is something that haunts me about high school: I didn't have a lot of good, close girlfriends. And once I got out of high school (and even college), I didn't keep in touch with any of them. I regret that.