Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Names

Okay lovelies. This one has been bothering me for a while. So let's talk about: Names

When your parents name you, do they know who you're going to be? No. Probably not.

But when you create a character do you know who they are going to be? I sure hope so, or else I don't want to read it. You HAVE to know who your characters are before you try to tell me who they are.

I am a HUGE believer in tying the entire story together. That includes the names. Your name should be representative of your character. It's that simple.

And what pissed me off was some girl saying "it's stupid when people try to name their characters after their personalities. It's totally unrealistic." Oh bite me. Actually it's called character development. And to hide behind the "unrealistic" excuse is the same as being lazy. Do a little research, people. I promise it won't kill you. 

So, let me use my own work as examples (because I work my ass off finding perfect names (symbolism is my passion)). I won't give you the entire analysis (just a line or two), but if you truly care, ask and I can provide an entire analysis. It'll be a couple pages long if you really wanna read it all (and if you request it, you better damn well read it), but it can be done.

 Okay, so I've been accused of having a "hot guy" name for a "hot guy" in my story...which is strange, because I never described him as hot...but anyway, let's talk about my character Blake from "Number Six".

Apparently Blake is a "hot guy" name. But that is not why I chose it. Let me explain my reasoning behind choosing this name.

Blake can mean either "pale" or "dark". So why is this important? Because it describes his internal and external struggles. They are two totally different extremes that capture his conflicts. For those of you who have read the book, you'll have an easier time understanding, but Imma try to explain this.

Pale is a representation of his innocence in his situation. He's just trying to be a normal high school kid with a normal life, but he can't given his circumstances. His best friend is the one who is kidnapped, his brother is being sought after as a replacement, and he's just another number that's virtually helpless outside of doing what his orders demand from him. Out of all the kids caught up in the situation, he's been lucky enough to have the most innocence and amnesty.

The "dark" represents his actual plot progression. It's the dark side of his mind that gets him out of trouble. He's willing to move dead bodies to get his friend back. He's willing to make life threatening deals to save his brother. He's willing to go against the rules in the fight for the upper hand.

And that's why his name is Blake (or at least part of the reason. I can't say more because it'll ruin some twists that have yet to be published). Not because he's hot.

But don't be the blatantly obvious one either. Don't name a quiet kid "Silence" or an emo kid "darkness" or a cheerleader "Smiley". (Okay, those were obviously bad, but you get the point).

Pick a name (normal or not) that has meaning! And if you HAVE to have an odd name, pick a lesser known word. 

So I'm begging you, PLEASE do just a little bit of research before you name your characters. Don't be lazy and hide behind the excuse that it's "unrealistic". It's fiction you dumb ass. Obviously not everything is going to play out as it would in real life. (And don't start with me about the realistic fiction aspect. I am NOT in the mood).

It pisses me off when names don't match characters, because that's a major loose end. And I despise loose ends more than anything...really...I do. It's lazy and it really puts a hole in your plot whether you want to admit it or not.

Don't be lazy dammit. That's what it boils down to.

And don't be painfully obvious. That's boring. Make your readers analyze the characters. Literary analysis should be done by any good read. Textual analysis should be done by any good author. If you don't do either, don't write. Just don't do it. You're wasting your life as a pointless wannabe.

If you want help, ASK ME! I'd LOVE to help! I (obviously) have an unhealthy obsession with names. I'd be thrilled to help. Just please don't slam your hand down on the keyboard and call it a name or give your loud character the name Big Mouth. That's lazy and ridiculous...honestly...and it pisses me off more than you would care to know.

So...anyway, I have to go now...have a lovely day!