Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Fangirls

Today’s rant is a story and I’m not sure how much of a point it has, but whatever. I’m tired and can't sleep.

So as you all know, I’m my best friend’s biggest fan. Seriously, if you haven’t noticed by now that I idolize him, then you’ve obviously not read a damn thing in this rant book. I love that guy. It’s sickening and annoying, I know. I just absolutely adore him.

But unfortunately, I have some competition.

This girl that lives in his apartment building has become his self-proclaimed “fangirl”. She has this almost stalker like obsession with him and absolutely hates me because we have such an intense friendship. Like, she says very bad things about me, apparently, and she is constantly trying to hang around him.

I’m fairly certain she’s the kind to mail him her blood to him (Blades of Glory anyone?) She’s uncomfortably obsessive with him.

And she’s twelve (might be thirteen, but I don’t think so). Which is why I don’t really find this dramatic. I find this funny.  

Everyone finds this funny. My best friend does not care for kids and the poor guy is very, very popular with the kids in his apartment building. All the little boys are always at his door asking him to come play with them, because they think he’s the coolest person ever. And he is!

But, he’s always nice to them. He calls them his gang, because anything he asks them to do, they’ll do. So he has them running errands for the old lady that lives down the hall from him. He’s got them holding doors for people and all this really nice, Power Ranger-y shit. And he lets them take his dog out and play with him (because his dog is young and loves kids).

He even teaches them how to play basketball/football/baseball, whatever the hell else during his rare spare hours.

Well, unfortunately one of them had an older sister and of course my best friend made no exception. He was nice to her. He talked to her when he had to. Then, he taught her a few chords on guitar, and that was his fatal mistake.

She decided that she was desperately in love with him (but what girl doesn’t like an older guy. Especially when you’re that young and he is pretty much old enough to be your dad?)

Anyway, he says she has turned into a nightmare. Apparently, at first she wasn’t so bad. She just wanted to hang around in his apartment (because I guess in that building people just leave their doors open all the time), so she always came over when he had his friends over.

And he let her hang out, because they’re a band. They jam. It’s what they do. Lots of people stop in and see him.

But then she wanted to come in when they were writing, and that’s kind of their job, so they were reluctant, but they were nice to her and let her sit in for a few minutes at a time. They do a lot of work with audiences, so it was fine.

Then she started flirting with my best friend. And she was very obvious about it. According to a mutual friend, her favorite things to do were squeeze his arm and mention how he’s been working out. Or she’d mess with his hair and tell him she liked it a certain way. Occasionally she’d say “you have the most gorgeous blue eyes. A girl could get lost in them.” (I think her mom watched a LOT of the Notebook.) He was constantly having to tell her not to touch him and to just relax.

She got his number and would text him all the time. “Hay! Wuuzz up? Miss u! wana hang out?” That type of thing. He never replied.

She even asks him all the dumb questions. “What’s your middle name?” “What’s your favorite color?” “What’s your favorite food?” She’s convinced she knows everything about him.