Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Writer's Block

My best friend doesn’t go by his first name (and hardly anyone knows that, so y’all should feel special that I’m sharing such a scandalous secret with you), but he makes very pretty “J’s” so it’s a shame.

If you were wondering where this came from, he just signed a contract for the job he’s wanted for FOREVER and I’m super proud of him and excited for him and just all around happy for him. He sent me a picture of the contract, and it had his pretty name on it and it makes me smile…and I’ll shut up now, because this has nothing to do with the rant. I’m just insanely ecstatic for him and his wonderfulness.

And I like having random intros that are completely pointless.

But I’ll stop indulging myself and we’ll talk about: Writer’s Block

I personally don’t believe in writer’s block, but that’s not the point. (It’s simply a limitation of the mind, not a complete inability to write and therefore it does not exist in those terms.) But don’t worry, I’m not gonna preach about that.

Although laziness is the biggest cause of not writing (I’m guilty of just being too sick or lazy so don’t jump my ass. I’m not saying it’s bad to be lazy) another factor is fear. (Joe Rogan anyone? I love him.) They think that writing is supposed to be something that comes naturally.

There’s this lie going around that “real” writers always know what they’re doing. They can sit down and write masterpieces because it’s in their nature. So I’ll let you in on a secret:

That is bullshit. If you find writing easy, I feel bad for you.

Ripping yourself open and bleeding on paper is one of the hardest things you can ever ask anyone to do but it’s also one of the most rewarding. Not everything has to be hard, but you shouldn’t be able to simply write something unless it means nothing to you.

That’s what makes writing so amazing. Because it means something to the writer. Because it’s a cathartic experience whether or not it’s based on real events.

If you find it easy to write you’re doing something wrong, in my humble opinion. (But what do I know…I typically don’t care much for all the crazes everyone else has)

But aside from all that, I have tons of suggestions, so let’s get started!

Usually if you find that you can’t complete the next chapter it’s because there’s a problem with the conflict. You have to remember that without conflict, there is no story.

So reassess.

What is the driving force being the story? What is the big idea? What are the characters fighting for/against?

Maybe there are too many conflicts or too few. Do you have a balance? Are readers going to get confused about what’s happening and why? Are all the conflicts necessary to reach the end? What do the conflicts achieve?

Once you answer those think about the characters themselves.

How are your characters handling the conflict? How do they get from the start to the end? Do the characters change or stay static? What role does each character play?

Answer all these questions. All of them.

When that’s over, you should have a good direction to go in. If you have too many conflicts, write a chapter that brings a few of them to an end. If you have too few, write a chapter that sparks a new conflict.

And if that doesn’t work then we’re back to the fear factor (JOE!). You cannot be afraid to sit down and write complete shit. You cannot be afraid of that, because every writer has written something terrible. It’s better to have a page full or crap than a blank page.

Why? Because EDITING. You can edit bad writing. You can’t edit a blank page.

Literally write down everything you want to happen in the chapter and don’t worry about literary devices or imagery. Don’t worry about anything but the plot. Don’t worry about how pretty it is.

Just write.

And when you go back to edit ask yourself questions. How did the character feel? Why did the character do it? What did it accomplish?

What does the scene look like? What did it sound like? What does your character smell or taste?

Ask about everything. Pretend like you’re stupid and you have no idea what’s going on in the story and ask why. Why does it all happen? How? How does it happen? (If you can’t do that, send it to me. I’ll ask TONS of questions (all of them equally stupid.))

Ask about everything and then answer your own questions.

It’s so simple, really. I’m one of those crazy people that LOVES editing, so I also find it fun.

And if none of that works, I have something guaranteed to work that I’ve actual taken from a couple of different writers: pretend you’re writing a letter to a friend.

Sit down and pretend that you are going to write out a chapter and email it to a friend.

It might sound really dumb, but I promise that it actually works and I’ll tell you why.

Isn’t it less intimidating talking to a friend than trying to accomplish writing an entire novel? I mean, seriously? Just thinking about all the chapters and pages and even parts is daunting. It makes me want to procrastinate on my procrastinating.

But then think of all the things you say when you talk to a friend. You tell them about your day, your thoughts, your ideas.

So why not do it with a story?

Write it like you’re telling a friend about your day, but instead you’re telling them a chapter of your story.

It’s kind of weird at first, but it works. Seriously. Try it sometime.

And if you really need help getting in the act, you can always write it up and send it to me. Follow through with the idea that it is seriously just an email or a letter. If you want, I’ll even give you an email address to send it to and if I have time I’ll give you a little feedback!

Just try it. I’ve written tons of things that way, because it’s easy. It’s like I’m literally going to sit here and tell my best friend all these things that happen with the little people in my head (that makes me sound crazy, but that’s okay.)

So try some of these things and see if they work.

Or better yet, share some of the things you do to help inspire you to write! I’d love to hear them and I’m sure other people would to! Don’t be shy; share away.

And just so we don’t have a repeat of the last rant, I’m just going to tell you that I’ll be gone so I may not reply right away. I took all my finals in two days and I’m busy with some other important/boring/God awful stuff, so I’ll be around when I feel okay or have some free time.

Other than that, I’ll get back to all the PMs/comments/emails when I can! Stay pretty, my lovelies!