Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Inside the Mind of a Man

I felt awful about having been sick for so long and just ignoring everyone, but I don’t feel like writing and this is all I have. You wouldn’t believe the number of people I get asking me about my best friend, so here you go. A whole chapter of him answering questions.

It was a project I did for one of my classes so it was never supposed to end up here, but he makes some good points that we’ll discuss later and I felt bad for not being around. He’s got the most beautiful way of thinking, honestly. And he’s not trying to be mean.

For now, just read and don’t forget to laugh. He might come across as a jerk, but I promise he is the nicest person you’ll ever meet. Sarcasm doesn’t come over well in writing and he talks so fast sometimes I couldn’t get it all down. So let’s journey: Inside the Mind of a Man. (If you wanna answer some of the questions in the comments, go for it! I love hearing from you guys too!)

1.       What are the most important/memorable parts of your childhood?

I always instigated everything and then told everyone else not to tell their parents. God, I instigated so much shit. So much stupid shit. Such a bad influence.

2.       What is your love language?

What the hell is a love language? Does drunk dialing count?

3.       How did your parents argue or fight?

Loudly

4.       How did your parents raise you?

I don’t know because I was a heathen.

5.       Do you want to have children?

No. I shouldn’t be responsible for children, ever.

6.       What is the most common misconception people have about you?

Because my best friend is a girl, people think I know a lot about women which is not true. I know nothing about women.

7.       What is your relationship history?

Aside from the current one, my longest “relationship” was about three hours. So, I'm gonna say bad.

8.       What are your religious beliefs/views on spirituality?

I just don’t understand why everyone wants to fight about religion and stuff. Believe whatever the hell you want and be happy

9.       What bothers you most about today’s youth?

I guess that everyone has to be outwardly obnoxious about being different. They all just end up being the same as everyone else who thinks they’re different.

Like, people say they’re weird and random but only have conversations about, I dunno, cookies and bacon and unicorns or some shit. I don’t know, whatever the fuck is the obsession now.

I’ve spent enough time people watching to know that everyone’s different and has something really cool about them they should be proud of. Some people are downright creepy, but everyone is different so we all need to just shut the hell up about it and stop trying so hard to fit in by insisting we stand out.

 If you have to tell people you stand out, you really don’t. Go be happy with who you are, not what everyone else is.

10.   What is your current short term goal?

Well, lately I’ve been conditioning people at work to ask me what time it is, so no one else ever checks their phones now. Once I control time for these people the possibilities are pretty much endless.