Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

FanFiction

I could tell you why I’ve been gone forever, but y'all probably care less than I do.

But during my absence, my best friend invited me to be his date to this thing (that you also don’t care about), so I got to spend a weekend with him and it was the best weekend ever. We partied. We hung out all over the place. I met his neighbors and his bosses and his new friends.

I got to go to the studio with him. The studio. I’m still not over freaking out about all the work we got to do in the studio. I can’t stop saying the word. Studio. I was in heaven. (Studio, studio, studio)

And I went to this fancy-ass event as his date that I totally didn’t belong at (and if you see the pictures on the internet, I’m the one they so politely refer to as “and date”).

But that’s neither here nor there.

You guys, I think, will like this part: I got to meet his stalker. That crazy thirteen-year-old I was telling you about? His fangirl. And that’s the reason we’re here. That and I’ve been neglecting this for too long.

Because she’s actually doing it.

I found out she’s…wait for it….you’re gonna love this one.

Seriously. She’s doing it.

She’s writing a goddamn FANFICTION!

Can I just tell you guys about it? I’ve been in the hospital a lot lately and I’d just rather share stories than make a cohesive rant, as per usual.

So I’ll tell you about her fanfiction.

She didn’t bother to change any names, places, dates, anything. It’s literally like a journal, but with a few made up things.

Really, she’s just using him as a muse (which means she’s literally using everything about him, but she’s labeled it a fanfiction. And it’s more fun for me to think of this in terms of fanfiction, because I met her…and she’s fucking obsessed with him. Pictures of him in her room that she sings too…candid shots she took, obsessed. CREEPER SHOTS!)

I’m going to give her credit, despite the fact that I find it creepy, though. She’s actually doing a good job, because she’s doing a great with one of the most important parts of fanfiction: making it a standalone.

And what I mean by that is, you don’t really have to know me or my best friend or any of our friends to understand her story (because we’re all in it (I’m the bitch that has the main love interest (my best friend) wrapped around her perfect finger, in case you were wondering. At one point, the character that is me, literally Addy, was in the hospital (surprise, surprise) and the love interest, my best friend, didn’t sleep for three days straight, because any spare time he had, he was figuring out insurance and bills and shit, and it made me look evil).

Granted, a lot of what she writes is more enjoyable if you know us, but it’s not like she said “he looked just like” and then inserted his name like a lot of fanfictions do. Okay, so a guy who is Zayn Malik, looks like Zayn…what does Zayn look like? (I get 10 points for using someone other than Harry Styles, right? I made an effort).

Unfortunately she’s stuck in that overly romanticized, obsessive imagery style where she describes absolutely everything in the most long-winded paragraphs filled with flowery language that takes days to read. But that doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. I’m just bitter because it’s creepy to me.

I’m not going to plagiarize her by copying the sentences (I also don’t want people to google them and find the story, because my best friend doesn’t know it exists and I still just find it creepy and that would be a mean thing for me to do, I feel like).