Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Virgins versus Sluts

I’m trying to get shit done and someone wanted this discussed.

So, let’s do it. Let’s discuss: Virgins versus Sluts

I read a lot of stories on here with female leads that are obsessed with boys. And I get it. I was fifteen once and I thought boys were everything the world had to offer.

But what I see in these stories is that all these girls that are virgins are deemed prudes and all the girls that have sex are deemed sluts. And I have NO idea why virginity and sex are getting these awful names.

I don’t understand why no one can respect everyone else’s personal choices.

Why does every story have to have a least one slut (and she’s easy to spot with her barely there halter tops and invisible short skirts)? Some people like sex. Is that a bad thing?

Why do these “sluts” have to be bad girls that the main character hates? I know a lot of people that have had multiple sexual partners and they’re nice, caring people. Seriously, not everyone that sleeps around is bad.

Yes, there are religions that don’t agree with that kind of behavior, but everyone sins. Everyone.

And just because I don’t want to have twenty guys under my belt, that doesn’t make me better than the girls that do. It doesn’t make me worse. It makes me just that: me.

So I get annoyed with the virgins come off with the “holier than thou” attitude. Yes, virginity is one of those things that once it’s lost, you can’t get it back. But it doesn’t automatically make you a good person. Seriously. Virgin and saint aren’t synonymous.

I’ve known plenty of virgins that were complete bitches. They were always putting people down saying they were better than everyone else and that simply wasn’t the case.

I was always taught that you never tell someone how good you are, because if they can’t see it for themselves, obviously you aren’t that great.

But it also confuses me when they are portrayed as innocent and ignorant. (More often than not I hear “virgins” talking about this crazy, nasty shit they do with their significant other and it is not innocent. But apparently they’re still virgins because they didn’t go “all the way”. Really guys? Really?)

And when I come across a story with the “last virgin standing” premise, I get pissy. Being a virgin doesn’t make you a good person and having sex doesn’t make you a bad person.

Bing a virgin doesn’t just automatically make you naïve and having sex doesn't make you worldly. There is no reason to pick on a girl that’s a virgin. That takes a lot of self-control (especially in high school).

Virgins and sluts really have to stop picking on one another.

People are ready for sex at different times. We’re unique. We’re different. There isn’t a rulebook and I’ll explain why.

(Oh no, here comes the personal story time).

At fifteen, I wanted to have sex, because I was tired of everyone treating me like an innocent, stupid little girl. I wanted to just fit in and I wanted to ensure that my sorta then boyfriend (silly me didn’t know he already had another girlfriend) wouldn’t leave me.

So I went to my best friend, (because he knows everything and I didn't have MTV or Miley Cyrus growing up, I basically lived under a rock) and I was sure he could help me.

We sat on his kitchen floor, ate ice cream, and had a two hour conversation about everything I’d ever need to know about sex (which was essentially half an hour of actual information and another hour and a half of shit that he only shared because he knew it would scare me out of the awful, horrible, terrible idea).

And you know what, I’m so glad I went to him. He literally scared the hell out of me and I didn’t end up sleeping with the guy (which was a GREAT thing because he was a total ass and I would have regretted that forever).

But the whole experience taught me that it is incredibly stupid to base your worth on whether or not you’ve gotten laid. (And it was easy for me, because after that conversation, I didn’t feel left out anymore…I felt like I knew too much).

And I really started to question why we do this. Why do we care if someone sleeps around or not? Does that affect our lives in one way or another? Not really. It just doesn’t.

So why is it a big deal for our characters? For once, I’d like sex to be less of a “she’s a slut so we hate her, but I’m a virgin so I’m great”  or the “she’s a virgin so she’s so naïve and I’ve had sex so I know more about life” and more of an actual personal journey. Because that’s what it is.

There is no rulebook for what a person goes through in life, because no two people go through the same thing.

Writers are artists. And as artists, we see every basic emotion, action, and reaction as a story that we all interpret and read differently.

Think about it. You will never tell the exact same story as someone else. Ever.

For me, the art forms in the symbolism. Everything has to correspond. The place, the time, the events, the emotions. They all have to match in order for sex to be appropriate. For me, it’s all about the allegory and I couldn’t see that at fifteen. I wasn’t ready for that at fifteen.

For others, the art thrives on tension. They like the idea of strange people, in strange places, under strange circumstances. Sex with the unknown and unsafe isn’t a threat, it’s an adventure. If I thrived on sexual tension, I probably would have been ready at fifteen. I would have understood that I wouldn’t understand everything I felt and I would have been okay having unresolved emotions.

Neither of these viewpoints is wrong and neither is right. So why do we so clearly define them as so?

Symbolism is beautiful. It’s romantic and poetic.

But tension is also gorgeous. It’s cynical and mysterious.

These are both really strong pulls for plots and characters.

Stop with the virgin versus slut. It’s so much more than that. Explore why a character chooses to sleep around. Explore why a character decides to remain chaste.

If you do this, your plot will become so much thicker and your characters more three dimensional. And that’s a lovely thing.

And seriously. Virgins and sluts have to stop picking on each other in stories (and real life). It’s getting beyond ridiculous.

ELE, man. Everybody love everybody.