Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

One Direction Adopted Me!?!?!?!?

I've been asked to do a One Direction rant, but I honestly don't know anything about One Direction anymore, so I have to do this carefully and do quite a bit of research.

Also, I ask that no one sends hate toward One Direction or Directioners themselves, because as you know, this book is just about the characters, not real people, so please keep that in mind! (But y'all can hate me all you want. I wish I cared.) So, play nice, lovelies.

And let's talk about stories that go like: One Direction Adopted Me!?!?!?!?

This just seems really, really unrealistic, but I guess I'll play devil's advocate and start with how it might be plausible. And to do so, I'll use my best friend as a beautiful example (as I always do...because I love him).

The first time he moved out of his dad's house he was fifteen (technically fourteen, but it wasn't officially official until he was fifteen). And he did totally fine on his own with his housemates. He had a job, he stayed in school, he got in a lot of trouble, he almost died, and by sixteen he was back home until he recovered and was back on his feet at eighteen. Then he left again.

Now, had the trouble and tragedy not happened, he wouldn't have had to move home for two years (but life has a funny way of striking). So I could totally see how some young kid would be fine living on their own. I've seen it done.

(And that covers the orphan living outside of an orphanage).

But why would One Direction adopt them? What attachment do they have to this kid? (And also, why aren't adoption agencies ever involved? Those exist and they are strict! My aunt adopted kids and they had to go through home visits and evaluations and more home visits and trial periods and counseling. It's a HUGE process (in the States at least)).

The only plausible reason I could see One Direction adopting a kid would be if it was their own sibling.

My best friend somewhat raised his younger brother. The kid lives with him on weekends, he gives him money, he feeds him (when he remembers to), and he makes sure all his homework is done. Now, this kid is a teenager, so I can see where a young adult would be able to raise a teenager...if it was their sibling.

Those two have an emotional attachment to each other. They grew up together. They've always been around each other.

If my best friend didn't know his brother, he wouldn't have such an easy time taking care of him.

So...maybe if One Direction simply has to adopt a kid it could be their sibling (a real one. Not a "secret" one. I just...that's another rant for another time. (Question for Direcioners...do they have siblings?)). That would actually be really interesting. I like when siblings have to rely on each other (and it would be cool to see a sibling suddenly have to face fame and tragedy at the same time)

But otherwise, if they find an orphan they feel bad for, there's about a 0.000000000001% chance they would adopt them (or even be legally allowed to adopt them).

Wouldn't they be more likely to donate money to an orphanage? Or maybe play free shows there? Like an acoustic set or something. I know I play acoustic sets for local schools and stuff (and I'm not even famous).

So, maybe write a story where they become friends through One Direction's charity work? It's not necessarily charity if they adopt one kid. It's charity if they spend money to support LOTS of kids until they find proper, stable homes.

(I suck at these suggestions. As you've probably figured out by this point, I know nothing about fanficiton anymore. It's sad, really.)

But my biggest problem with these is the fact that the girl always ends up having sex with AT LEAST one of the members.

Can I just say, ew? Not ew that they had sex (I don't really care who sleeps with whom), but that they had sex with someone that's now supposed to be their father figure, or someone they're supposed to think of as a brother.

(And I feel like there's a guy code about not sleeping with the same girl as your best friends ...no? I dunno.)

If it's so easy for One Direction to adopt this minor, wouldn't it be just as easy to marry her? And that would be a little less creepy.

Yes I know that they aren't actually related, but it's still a bit creepy, right? And it makes One Direction seem shallow...like all they care about is screwing little girls (that's sorta defamation of character.)

I mean, I've stayed with my best friend's dad. We're friends. I like him. He's super nice to me, he feeds me, he gives me presents for Christmas and my birthday. We're not related, but I'm still not going to sleep with him.

It's weird.

So...maybe stop with them adopting kids and start with them being involved with orphanages? Or maybe let them sponsor an adoption agency and have them meet the MC?

And, also, I'm all for them just being friends instead of lovers. I've yet to read that.

That's all I have to say...so if any Directioners wanna comment and give some meaningful advice for these kinds of stories, do it! I'm sure people would love to have some more input since these are popular. I've already proven to be useless on this topic...

But thanks for putting up with me! Love you guys!

Love,

Addy!