Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Single Dads and Teenage Daughters

So I wanted to take a break from heavy, angry rants and talk about something more fun. A friend brought up that a lot of parents on Wattpad are single with a teenage daughter (the MC). And I thought that that’s a fun dynamic (and I’m all about incorporating parents more), so let’s talk about:Single Dads and Teenage Daughters

I've made a list of the worst/most embarrasing things about being a teenage girl with just her dad. I hope you enjoy my horrific stories: 

1. First period

It started being just me and my dad the same summer I got my first period and I can tell you it was a horrifying experience. I don’t remember exactly why, but I missed the one day of “sex education” that we had (I think it was fourth or fifth grade, it’s been too many years for me to remember, though) so I knew nothing. My teacher gave me a little five page booklet about periods and I read it cover to cover (and was convinced PMS was a disease), because I wasn’t asking my dad and he wasn’t offering help.

And when it happened I was ready to die. I'm a shy person (bet you couldn't tell!) and even after I learned what to do I don't really talk about periods, but I was clueless and I couldn't not ruin more panties than I had to.

But people are always looking for ways to incorporate humor (and there’s been this obsession with adding more realistic things into stories) so why not go for it? Because looking back, I see how it was probably a kind of funny experience. At the time it was the worst.

So was getting birth control. That was horrible (because I’m telling you, most people think it’s literally just for birth control, but it’s for a lot of things.) But anyway, I actually discussed it with my cross country coach (who of course had to involve my dad) and having two older men coaching you about birth control is about as fun as it sounds.

I mean, my dad was not in any way equipped to raise a daughter by himself. And he totally wasn’t prepared for the feminine hygiene aisle when we went shopping.

I had to go to my grandma’s and she helped me out so much (thank God), but seriously. What’s a guy to do when his twelve year-old daughter is pretty sure she’s going to die of embarrassment if the blood loss doesn’t get her first? Please, someone write this scene (like in My Girl, except without the dad’s girlfriend). Hilarity is best when accompanied by humiliation.

2. Dating

My poor, poor dad. I was such a brat in high school. How did he survive me? (He actually tells his football team that now: “I have a daughter in her twenties. You cannot scare me”).

See, in high school I didn’t date. (At least, I didn’t admit to it, but we’ll call it dating for the sake of ease). I had flings (and no, I didn’t sleep around, but who cares if I did) where I’d hang out with one guy all the time for a few months, then we’d go back to being just casual friends that talked every once in a while.

And of course I dated athletes. What better way to torture my father the coach? He could hear little things in the locker room, but not from me and he'd always wonder.

Let’s see, I first dated the guy I told you about in another chapter. I met him in choir and he played soccer. And I was fifteen (turned sixteen shortly after it started) and he was eighteen. So, since my dad had nothing to do with the choir and very little to do with soccer and the guy was a year younger than my brother (and they didn't know each other), he didn’t know much about the guy. So it was a nervous situation trying to hit up the right people for information. He got really, really close to the soccer coach for a while.

Then, I dated my brother’s best friend who was my dad’s quarterback and power forward as well as a pitcher and a hurdler when he was in high school. But, I didn’t date him until I was seventeen and he was about to turn twenty-two. So my dad knew him well, but he thought he was too old for me. He even called the guy and said something along the lines of “I’m always going to be your coach. And I’m always going to be able to kick your ass”. Bless his soul.