Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Glorifying Abuse

Can I get a high five for continually updating this? I've been busy, busy!

People keep asking me to do this one and I’ve been purposely neglecting it. Then I had a major fuck up in the last rant so here we are…addressing (in two parts): Glorifying Abuse

The biggest problem with this site is everyone wants to be deep without being honest.

Because honest isn't pretty.

That’s why we get horrible things that are romanticized like rape, abuse, mental disorders, etc.

You know the honest thing about abuse (especially child abuse)?

It will mess you the fuck up. No one ever acknowledges that.

Why does no one explore that? I wouldn’t hate this story line so bad if people actually explored it and didn’t try to be inspirational and revolutionary. Don’t ever try to be inspirational or revolutionary. Inspiration is in the reader, not the writer.

It would be brilliant if someone would be honest. Seriously, abuse lends itself to pathos (if you don’t know logos, ethos, pathos…take an English class?). The emotions write themselves. They just need the canvas which they are currently being denied.

So, for once, let’s be honest, shall we?

Let’s actually talk about child (which I consider from birth to eighteen-ish) abuse.

It’s not something that some love interest can fix as soon as s/he sees your beautiful eyes and says “baby you’re perfect to me”. It’s something you don’t talk about. At all. Ever. It’s not telling people what happens because you’re scared and ashamed. It’s making up lies about everything so no one finds out. It’s being afraid of what people would think if they knew.

It’s not just being shy or reserved. It’s wearing a motherfucking long sleeve shirt, a goddamn jacket, and long ass pants in the summer heat because you don’t want people to see bruises if it’s physical, or because you don’t want people to simply see your skin because it makes you feel dirty if it’s sexual.

It’s not just “don’t hurt me”. It’s hating yourself for letting it happen. It’s hating everyone around you for not seeing all the signs. For not knowing that something’s wrong. It’s hating every thought you have about the abuser and yourself and everyone that’s just ignoring you because you’re so good at lying about what’s really happening.

Why the hell does no one acknowledge this? Why is it always “my daddy gets drunk and abuses me and I want to die so I always cut myself and the razor makes me feel better. But then this beautiful boy sees my cuts and tells me I’m beautiful and they’re my battle scars and now I love him and life is so much better.”

No. No, no, no, no. No. Stop. No. Don’t ever, Ever, EVer, EVEr, EVER write that goddamn story. Ever.

Abuse doesn’t stop because you get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Abuse doesn’t just go away.

If someone manages to survive abuse and carry on with their life, give them the credit. Maybe their significant other helped, but they had to make the decision to leave. They have to be asked to change their lives. To me, that’s more important than simply being a supporter (but shout out to the supporters. It’s hard to be there for someone. It really is.)

And child abusers aren’t just parents.

It’s hard when it is the parents, because they’re your family. No matter what, they’re a part of you and you can never get rid of that part. It’s hard to hate family, because in the end, blood is all you have.

No matter what, a part of you is always going to want to protect those people. The ones that gave you life. The ones that make your life miserable. That’s hard. That leads to a lot of internal conflict.

Do you know what that does to a person? Do you know what wanting to hate someone and being incapable of doing it actually does to a person? Seriously. It will eat you alive. It will slowly tear through every organ in your body and all that hate that you can’t feel is going to leak out and seep into your muscles so you feel it with every movement you make.

I’ve never once seen internal conflicts explored in abuse stories. It’s always “I hate my life because my stupid parents. I hate my parents. I hate everyone.” It’s not just the hate. It’s the way the hate burns little holes in your bones so that you can’t even hold your head up anymore.

But abusers can also be other people. They can be extended family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, step-families), babysitters, family friends, teachers, coaches, neighbors. Abusers don’t have to be just parents.

And when they aren’t, it’s one of the most miserable things ever. It’s all the internal conflict, a hatred of your abuser, and a hatred of your parents.

Because you’re supposed to be able to trust your parents. Your parents are supposed to be protect you and support you, but when you’re being abused by someone else your parents don’t do anything. Because they don’t know. Because you don’t tell them.

That’s an entirely new level of lonely-when you can’t even talk to your parents. You can’t trust the people that are always supposed to be there for you. You can’t trust yourself, because if you tell, it’s going to ruin everything. It’s going to tear your life apart the way the internal conflict tears you apart.

It’s so hard to be honest and tell someone when you're being abused. It’s as close to impossible as you can get. Because abusers make sure it’s that way. I've yet to see any character struggle with that the way it is.

The thing about abusers is they’re smart. They’re manipulative ass hats and that’s why abuse can last for so long.

And typically they start young which is cruel and unusual and all around evil.

They know that little kids look up to their parents. Little kids think their dad is the strongest man in the world and their mom is the prettiest woman ever. And they know the child’s weaknesses.

They say things like they’ll hurt the child’s parents if the child says anything.

They’ll tell you that your parents won’t love if you if you tell anyone.

And to a five year old, that’s the worst fear in the world. The absolute terror that comes from thinking there’s something wrong with you—something even your parents won’t be able to look past—is one of the most painful feelings in the world.

What if my parents stop loving me? Because we’re always taught that your parents are always supposed to be the ones to love you and care for you. But what if they don’t?

It will destroy every ounce of faith you ever had in people. In yourself.

Why is this never discussed in any of these stupid stories? Why don't people acknowledge that you will never get passed that the way you want to? That a part of you will always be living in misery because of something that you will never be able to change.

Abuse victim suffer in silence. And I’ve yet to figure out what’s so romantic about that.

If you can find one thing to romanticize about that, let me know. Because I fail to see it...

That's just one truth. There are so many other stories. Why does no one ever explore those?