Suicide Prevention

Chapter 21.5: Too Much

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Now you may be wondering why i stil try to get people to vote and comment when its obvious that most are not going to! Well I still do it because...well hell shit I don't know. Vote!!!!!:)

Kimber''s POV

I know that i am not the smartest cookie in the jar, but it sure seem to me that Mike is going through sone kind of internal issue and I thought it best to let him be. I mean he hasn't blinked! Like at all ever since his little cute sister said that he loved me. Wow. Am I that unloveable? This is embarrassing the least he could have did was act like it was a joke. Why did her have to utterly embarass me like this in fron of all of these people.

Bradon and Marshall were still callling out to him when I grabbed Kaite. "Let's go before we miss the movie."

"Are you sure?" She asked looking at Mike.

"Yes!" I pulled her up. "Well it was nice seeing you guys! I'll see you around."

As soon as I was about to leave the food court and get some air into my chest the little girl came up to me and grabbed my pants. "No you can't go! Mike would be so disappointed."

I gently removed her hand from me and said as kindly as possible. "I don't think he will notice my abscence."

I waited for her to say soemthing about that, but she just let me go with a sad exspression on her face. Who was this little girl? Her eyes seemed sad and distant, but her voice an demenor was preppy and happy. It must have been all a lie. Her happiness, her life, I watched as she turned back to Mike and she placed a hand on his heart and it seemed like she woke him up with just one touch. I was rooted in my spot as he took a deep breathe. His eyes looked as though they were about to fill with tears at any minute.

"Holland!" He pulled her into a hug. "Where's Kimber?"

Then she pointed to me. My heart skipped a beat as I saw Mike lock eyes with me. It was the same way he locked eyes with me while he was in his trance. My heart began to beat out of my chest. This can not be happening. Then he ran over to me and pulled me into his arms. His dark eyes gazed into me. He stroked my cheek and whisperd it into my ear, "I fucking love you."

"I fucking love you."

"I fucking love you"

"Kimber?"

"Dad? Whay are you leaving me again? I need you!"

We were standing in my small livving room with my mother hovering over me like she was actually going to protect me knowing that when my dad left the first thing she woulgg go and do is drink. The liar. My dad had on his Marine uniform and had his bag in hand. I was 12 and that was the last time I was ever going to see him. He kneeled down and placed my face into his palms.

"I'll be back. I love you baby." He kissed my cheek.

"If you love me then why are you leaving?"  I could barely speak with the tears treaming from my eyes. "Whay are you leaving me daddy? Please stay. Please stay with me." I hugged him tighly and pressed my face into his shoulder. "Please. i love you. Please. I need you."

"Honey?" My mother grabbed my shoulder, btu I shook her hand off.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled. "Daddy? Don't leave me. I love you. i promis i'll be a good girl. I'll make you want me again. Just please don't leave." I was bawling by that time.

"Baby..." His voice was so soft. I cried harder. "I'll be back. I am leaving becasue I love you and mommie and I need a way to take care of you. I am not leaving because you're not a good girl. You're the best girl and I cannot wait to come back to you and mommie. I am going to miss you everyday and think about what you're doing and how you're doing. Now..." He lifted me onto his knee. "When I come back we are going to pig out in front of the T.V and watch the entire new season of the biggest loser that you're going to record while I am away. Okay? And don't watch them without me." He kissed me on the cheek softly. "I love you."

That was the last thing he ever said to me and now he's gone and never coming back. he loved me! That's whay he left. I pulled out of Mike's grip.

"I can't." I whispered to him softly. "I just can't."

Mike looked me in the eyes. he seemed so sincere." Please." he begged.

"Let me go!!!" I ripped myself away from his grasp and fell into Katie. "YOu don't even know me. You don't know anything about me except how good my vagina feels when you stick your finger into it!" I heard a collective gasp, but I didn't care. I didn't want another lie told to me. "All you want to do is get an easy lay. Well you can't, and don't worry i'll be quitting that library job soon enough! I think that I have served my punishment long enough."

"Kimber?" the look on Mike's face was atonished to say the least. All of his tough bravado had been stripped away and that's when I knew that i had hurt him, but I didn't care. i wanted him to feel the pain that I felt when my dad left and never came back. I wanted him to feel how it felt to have two army men pull up to my door and tell me that my father was never coming back. They say he had died and honorable death, but how did they know that.He could have died while trying to kill an American soilder. they didn't know! Nobod knew! They coud not even find his body. It was too far burned! The only thing they found was his nameplate. Bullshit. Fucking liars! "Kimber?" Mike called to me again and I could see that the rest of our friends had went away to give us some privacy.

"Mike please don't do this." I could feel the tears starting to come, but I could not do anything about it.

"Come on let's talk." Mike tried to grab onto my arm, but I pushed him away. "Kimber fucking talk to me shit." My heart stopped. he pulled me into a hug. "I fucking love you and I wnat to be with you and het to know everything about you. We don't never have to have sex. I don't care about that. I care about you." He paused. "I fucking love you."

I pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "how do you know that?"

Then he buurst out laughing.