I Bet I Would

Chapter 10: Damaged

PAULENE

"Hello? Uh.. Josh? I can't hear you. Wait."

It's so loud here. Music is blasting from everywhere. Although it's much more quiet inside the VIP lounge, I can't let Krista know I answered a call from Josh. 

I make my way through the crowd towards the exit. No one warned me that Smashbin is only a resto bar until midnight and a disco club 12 AM onwards.

"Josh? Are you still there?"

No answer. 

I looked at my phone and saw that he didn't hang up yet. 

"I'm just getting out of here. Don't hang up."

Finally, I made it outside. "Hey, Josh. I'm sorry about that."

"Where exactly are you, Paulene? A party?"

"Yes! Oh! Uhm. No! I mean, I-it's not exactly a party. I'm just at a resto bar. Krista dragged me here!"

Why did I have to explain myself to him?

I guess I just got used to it.

When me and Josh were together, he was my everything. Everything I am, I surrendered to him. He owned and controlled me. I always had to ask for his permission in everything. I could not go out even with my sister without telling him. 

All I ever did then was to obey and please him.

I loved Josh with no reservations.

I fear that I would lose him if I didn't give him my all. 

He was my first love, and supposedly, my last love. 

No, Pau! You're being crazy!

I shake my thoughts off my head. I then realized that he was already saying something.

"... And that is the reason why I broke up with you, Pau. I know you'll never be the same once you move to the US. You left me here in Canada. You were the one who left, Pau. You abandoned everything that we had."

I felt a pang in my heart. I gripped my phone tighter. I then clenched my free hand into a fist. 

"We broke up because of Jenny," I said to him with gritted teeth.

"No. Jenny and I would not happen if you didn't leave. You left, Pau."

"You said you and Jenny were never really over since you two broke up!" I spat at him angrily. 

"Yeah. We were just friends, but when you left, things became different. Things would not have happened if you were still in Canada."

Things? What things?

What is he doing?! Why does he always blame me for everything?! For 1 year and six months, I always took the blame--even if he did not ask me to. I never wanted to see his pride hurt. Now that we're not together anymore, he is still blaming me. 

"Look at you now, I know you'd become a party animal there. I just didn't expect it to happen this soon. You're really something, Pau. You're not the sweet Paulene I loved anymore. You're someone else now."

My eyes started to get clouded with tears. My heart feels so heavy that it could burst anytime. I was literally shaking. I'm so mad. I don't know how I should feel right now. What should I say? What should I do?!

Out of rage, I threw my phone with all the force I could muster. I watched it crash to the ground. 

I screamed.

My knees were giving up.

Realizing what I did, I crawled to pick up my phone, my beloved iPhone. I traced the cracks on the screen with my finger. 

Tears were now streaming down my eyes. I was sitting there on the ground while crying my heart out. I just broke down.

I'm a fucking mess. 

"Is that her?" A familiar voice said.

"Yes! It's her! Paulene! Oh my god! What happened?!"

It's Krista! I quickly wiped off the tears from my face. I tried to stop the hiccups-- I could not. Tears won't stop falling either. It was useless to try wiping them off. I could not fight it. I just succumbed to this wave of hatred, self pity and depression crashing down on me. 

I hear footsteps coming closer.

"Didn't you get my texts? Horace and I have been loo--"

Krista paused and I heard her gasp. She pulled me up and held me into her arms. "Oh my god, Paulene! What happened?" She rubbed her hands on my back and it just made me want to cry even harder.

"Horace, I think it's best that I drive her home now. I'm really sorry."

"No! It's okay. Do you want me to drive you guys home?"

"No. It's alright. Besides, I can't leave my car here. We'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you. Take care, okay? I hope nothing too bad happened to her, and that she'll be fine."

"I hope so, too. Thanks, Horace. You take care, too. And uhm... Horace? Please don't tell anyone about any of this. If the guys ask, tell them that I wasn't feeling well, so, we had to go home already. Tell them that I'm sorry. Oh, and I really had a great time, Horace. See you tomorrow!"

"I understand. See you," Horace said. 

 --

Thank you so much everyone for the reads, comments and votes! :) 

This chapter is dedicated to jelian1994 because she had been waiting for this! :')

I know this chapter is sad, but, I hope you still liked it! I promise happier chapters after this! <3