Hockey Imagines

Panic Attack - Jake Oettinger

Me when someone asks how I am: 😃

Based on Overwhelmed by Royal & The Serpent (I love this song)

Song attached bc it's a bop and half

TW: panic attack, anxiety, shootings

Turn off the TV

It's starting to freak me

Out it's so loud

It's like my ears are bleeding

I'm sitting on the couch just waiting for Jake to get home after morning skate. I had the news on, but it was talking about another school shooting in Dallas. I was scared to say the least and all of the things is starting to overwhelm me.

The sounds around me seemed to be getting louder as my ears were ringing. It felt as though my ears were bleeding internally do to the noise around me. I need to turn off the TV but I can't seem to bring myself to it. Maybe this is the beginning of the end?

Oh I should be fine

But it's all too much

I get overwhelmed so easily

My anxiety creeps inside of me

Makes it hard to breathe

Mood lmao

I don't know why this is affecting me so much? I should be fine, it's not like it happened to me. This is just to much. What if my sister was at school today and wasn't sick? She would be there and she may not be here right now.

I felt a panic attack forming as I thought more and more about the situation. No no no. Jake isn't home and this is happening? Why now?

My breath got caught in my throat as my chest became heavy. I was gasping for breath while tears came down my face. I pictured my sister's face when she heard the news of what happened at her school. Of what happened to her friends. I should be with her..

Nobody gets it

They say I'm too sensitive

I didn't call anyone because they don't get it. If I called my "friends" they'd say I'm being dramatic and oversensitive. But they don't understand that I could've lost my sister. So here I am, sitting on the floor alone and freaking out.

I should be fine

But it's all too much

I should be fine

But I'm not

I heard the door open but I paid no attention to it as my mind swarmed with thoughts and images. Images. My name was being called but it was as if I couldn't hear anything around me, like my eardrums popped completely. 

"Ash?" A voice asked from in front of me. My face was dug into my knees that were pulled up to my chest. I rocked back and forth while mumbling incoherent words, my breathing unsteady and barely there. "Ashton? Hey..look at me." I shook my head.

The person sighed and placed their hands on my shoulder causing me to flinch slightly at the sudden movement. They rubbed my shoulders slightly as I stayed the same. Eventually, the person placed their hands on the side of my face so I would look up. Jake.

His face looked almost..guilty? He pulled me into a hug as he whispered sweet nothings in my ear to try and calm me down. It wouldn't work so Jake tried something else.

"What's your favourite colour?" He asked me.

"Uh..y-yellow.." I stuttered out. He smiled.

"Good. What's your favourite thing about me?" He asked once again.

"Y-your ey-es." I mumbled as my breathing steadied out and my tears stopped mostly.

He continued on until I was calmed down completely and leaning into him without tensing. I didn't look up at him feeling embarrassed and feeling like I was dramatic. I could tell he was confused on why I wouldn't look at him or why I kept fiddling with my fingers.

"What's wrong?" Jake questioned.

"I'm sorry for acting dramatic. I shouldn't have done that." I quietly spoke. He laughed. "What?" I asked him.

"You are one of the least dramatic people I've ever met. What do you mean?" He chuckled softly.

"I shouldn't have reacted to the news like that." I said. He shook his head.

"That's your sister's school and I know what you were thinking. I completely understand that." He reassured me. I nodded and thanked him.

I get overwhelmed.

***

I hate this one but yolo. I had to take multiple breaks throughout writing this because I get panic attacks and this one HITTT

WC: 695