Sentiment | Dave East

⑤①.

A cold day in Miami, that was one way to describe it.

Staring in the bathroom mirror, Essence ran her hands over the tightly fitted black dress she wore. Black was always a favorite color of her's, except only when worn for fashion.

Wearing it to mourn someone she loved however, would make her despise the color forever.

It had been years since she even went to a funeral, so her closet definitely lacked the general attire. With everything being so sudden, she didn't have much time to grab anything else. Though she was only five months, carrying twins did have her gaining a significant amount of weight.

Therefore, Essence hated the way she looked in it and honestly that applied everything she put on. She knew True would hate to hear her say such a thing, but he also wasn't around to cheer her up like usual. He always kept her in high spirits on days she didn't feel confident but he was no longer around to do so, and that thought made Essence sick to her stomach.

In fact, she couldn't even keep any food down, couldn't sleep and it was only thanks to her friends that she made it out of bed every morning—especially today.

It had only been a week, wounds were still extremely fresh and no one was readily prepared for today. Still, they all came together to make it happen because it was better than waiting weeks to bury him.

A pair of black sunglasses also accessorized Essence's eyes, though there was no sun to be found outside. It wasn't the sun that Essence was looking to be shielded from anyways. Her sunglasses only had one job for today, and that was hide Essence's puffy red eyes and the dark circles that laid underneath them. Both results from her heavy everyday crying and inability to sleep. 

Removing the sunglasses from her face, Essence stared back at her own reflection before letting out the deepest sigh. Dropping her face in the palm of her hands, Essence shut her eyes to stop the tears that were already escaping.

Her mother's words from a year ago played repeatedly throughout her head. It made Essence's heart sting, knowing her mother was probably somewhere rejoicing about being right for once.

True's lifestyle had led him straight into his own death, and left Essence to take care of two kids all on her own. Just like her mother predicted. Though she was grateful to have a piece of him through their children, she would trade anything to have them all here as a family. That was the plan, their plan.

Before Essence knew it, she was full blown sobbing by her lonesome. Her chest rattled as her cries became audible. Thankfully she went without both mascara and foundation for today.

The bathroom door swung open seconds later and Essence quickly tried pulling herself together. She didn't want anyone seeing her such a mess, not even her closest friends.

A hand gently began rubbing her back for comfort and that's when her eyes fluttered to see Chassidy and Aladrea standing behind her.

"You know we'd never judge you for crying." Chassidy spoke softly, "You aren't okay, and that's okay. None of us are."

Essence knew that was the truth. Losing True was everyone's inconvenience, because he brought something special to all of those that loved him. He had protected everyone there with his own life at least once or twice. Yet if felt like none of them were there to protect him when the time came. A lot of them all shared the same emotion today, and that was guilt.

"Rico had to step out for a few minutes, so you still have some time in here while we wait on him, if you'd like." Chassidy then said before she mimicked the deep sigh Essence just let out a few minutes prior.