Start All Over × Luke Hemmings

Ruining Everything.

(Hi, before you read I wanted you all to know that there is a self-harm scene in this chapter, it that kind of thing offends you please don’t read or if it triggers you exit right now. I love you, bye <3)

Luke’s P.O.V

We were greeted at the entrance of the restaurant by a young blonde girl who looked just a few years older than Vanessa and I. “Table for Hemmings!” I say, she looked down at her little notepad and up again. “Follow me.” She said, we followed her around a few tables to a table by the window with four seats. I pulled a seat out for Vanessa and she smiled and took her seat, Jake copied my action with Zoe, I then took the seat beside Vanessa she was beside the window and across from Jake with Zoe beside him. “I hope you have a lovely evening, I’ll pass you over to Brodie your waiter for tonight!” The girl said and walked away to greet the next group of people and a guy appeared in front of our table. “Hey, I’m Brodie! Your waiter for the night, here are your menus.” He say’s and passes out or menu’s. Vanessa was in another world staring out the window, her eyes set on something in the distance. “Nessa?” I say, giving her a little nudge. “Yeah?” She say’s, her eyes not moving from the window. “Here’s your menu.” I say and pass it to her. “Oh, right!” She say’s and open’s it and starts flipping through. “What would you recommend.” Vanessa say’s looking up at Brodie our waiter. “Brodie?” She asks. “Nessa! Hey.” He say’s, what was I missing? “We meet again.” Brodie say’s and winks, Vanessa just giggles nervously in response. “Yeah! Well, the lasagne is good.” Brodie say’s, answering Vanessa’s question. “I’ll have that, then.” Vanessa say’s and hands back her menu. “No starter? Or drink?” Brodie asks. “Oh, I’ll have water and uhh wedges.” She say’s looking over at my menu. “Alright! How about the rest of you?” He asked. “Raspberry and coke, garlic bread and chicken salad! Please and thank you.” Zoe say’s. “Um coke, the chips and this steak meal here.” Jake say’s pointing to it on the menu. “How would you like your steak cooked?” “Medium rare, thanks.” Jake say’s. “Can I get a coke, garlic bread and the chicken bacon burger please.” I say. “Sure thing! I’ll be right back with your drinks.” He say’s and walks away into the kitchen. “How do you know him?” Zoe asks, she read my mind. “We went to school together.” She say’s. “Oh! Is he from New Zealand too?” She asked. “Yeah!” She say’s her gaze drifting to the window again. “I know who he is now.” Jake say’s, suddenly coming to a conclusion. “He’s your ex-boyfriend.” Jake say’s. “Aha!” Vanessa say’s, not really connected with the conversation. I didn’t no if it was anger or worry that took over my body but one thing was for sure I was confused. “What are you looking at?” I asked. “Huh?” She asked, turning around and looking at me. “What have you been staring out for the past 20 minutes?” I ask. “Oh! Nothing.” She say’s, looking away from the window and re-joining our conversation. Brodie came back with our drinks, followed by our starters we were just chatting away about random things while munching on our food. “I’ll be right back.” Vanessa say’s excusing herself from the table and walking over to the ladies restroom. “There is nothing out that window, what the fuck is she staring at?” Jake asked, I had the same question. “I have no idea, there is nothing out there! Just the odd car and someone walking past.” I say. “Maybe she was just thinking and staring off into space not actually looking at something.” Zoe suggested. “That could be it.” I say. “Or she’s seeing things.” Jake suggested. We all fell silent, thinking.

Vanessa’s P.O.V

I quickly check all the cubicle’s they were all empty I was alone in here away from all the chat, I was losing my mind. Why didn’t you do it? You’re a failure! Thoughts kept rushing through my head, I was losing grip of everything I had worked so hard for.

~Flashback~ 

“I just need to grab my phone! I’ll meet you in the car.” I say to Luke and run back up the stairs to my bedroom. I grab my phone off my bed where I had left it, I see that I had tonnes of notifications from twitter, I really gotta turn them off I thought. I sat down and read through a few things. ‘EW, we seen your scars you freak’ ‘go add some more scars you dumb bitch’ ‘Luke deserves better than you, you emo freak!!!!!!’ “What?” I mumbled. I searched ‘Vanessa Bell’s scars’ in the search bar on twitter and shockingly close-ups of my legs popped up from the twitcam Luke just done, my shorts road up a little and you could see marks on my skin and somebody had zoomed up and posted them everywhere, I looked down at my shorts and ran into my closet and changed into a pair of black jeans, the urge came back a I looked down at my exposed wrist, the urge to see my blood run down my skin started to grow, to see the deep fresh wound, to cut away my pain. Before I even knew I had found myself standing in my bathroom, I still had a small box hidden in a draw in my bathroom that contained a few different blades, a few bandaids and a few clothes to clean up with. I was standing there my palms sweating the box sitting in front of me, I had already locked the door. I had the blade in my right hand I begun to twirl it around a little with my fingers I drew a deep breath and lightly pressed the blade to my skin not enough to bleed, yet. “Hey, Nessa? You in there, we’ve gotta get going.” Luke say’s knocking on the door. “Shit.” I mumbled quietly.  “Coming!” I say, quickly chucking everything into the box and hiding it again. That was way to close, I thought to myself. I opened the door to see Luke standing waiting. “You okay?” He asked. “Yeah! Just touching up my make-up.” I lie, he smiled at me and we walked down the stairs to the car hand in hand.”