Start All Over × Luke Hemmings

On Top Of The Fucking World.

Vanessa's P.O.V

I sat there emotionless watching people walk past, doctors and nurses rushing out of rooms. I didn't know how to move, how to speck I was numb from all the emotions overwhelming my body.

~FLASHBACK~

"Your mum she's in a very critical condition and there is almost no hope for her, she was in a car accident and a big milk tanker crashed head on, hitting your mums car and then her car spun into a light post, it's almost certain she won't make it. I'm so very, very sorry." The police officer said, it took me a moment to process his words. My mum, my beautiful, loving, caring mum was going to die and there was no way I could stop it from happening. "Where is she?" I stutter out, holding back my tears. "She's in the hospital, we can take you there if you'd like?" He asked. "Uh, yes please." I say, trying to sound polite. I walked out to the cop car with Jake and hoped in the back and we drove in silence to the hospital, they had a call while we were in the car so they couldn't walk us in but I managed through tears to say we'd be fine. Jake and I made it to the reception asking for her room the kind lady escorted us up a few stairs and told us to take a seat.

~FLASHBACK OVER~

The police officers story kept playing over in my head, questions whizzing around. Will she make it? Where's the milk tanker? What will happen to Jake and I.? So many un-answered questions then a doctor appeared in front of me. "Hello! You must be Vanessa?" The young looking doctor said to me. "Yeah!" I answered with little enthusiasm. "Would you like to see her?" He asked, I nodded, Jake and I followed him into a bright white, very clean looking room I seen my mum's lifeless body lying there hooked up to all sorts of machines beeping away. And burst into tears and sat down by her bed. "I'm so so sorry, I have been such a horrible daughter I'm so sorry, I love you! I'm sorry." I say, breaking out into quiet sobs, Jake was sitting beside me crying quietly. Then all of a sudden, the heart monitor let out a long beep "No, No, No, No!" I say. And a doctor rushed in and pushed us out the door. I took a seat and cried and cried and cried, everything happened so fast I didn't know what was happening and then all of a sudden I was getting lifted off the chair. "Shhhhh! It's okay baby!" I heard Luke's voice, he was the one carrying me, "I'll take you home!" He say's. "I can't leave her!" "Babe, you've been sitting here for almost 6 hours starring into space, you need to sleep in a bed and Hannah will be here soon." "Hannah?" I ask. "Yeah! Tesh and Jess rung her and she pretty much jumped on a plane. Before you ask Jake rung us cause he didn't know what to do cause you wern't talking or moving Calum, Tesh and Michael took him home and Zoe's with him. Emma and Mum are at your house keeping everything clean and tidy and Ashton and Jess are stocking your fridge with food." He say's explaining everything. "Oh okay!" I say and we walk out to his car and he opens my door for me, we drive in silence not an awkward silence a comfortable silence. As soon as I walked in the front door I got pulled into hugs I found it quite overwhelming I wasn't really in the mood for visitors. "How are you?" Jess asked. "On top of the fucking world!" I say and run upstairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me and diving onto my bed and sob into my pillow, I heard people walk up the stairs and peck through my door a few times and hushed conversations but I eventually tire myself out from crying and fall asleep. 

I woke up feeling confused, I pat around my bed for my phone and realize it's still in my pocket of the pants I'm wearing I pulled it out and looked at the time 3:35pm I had completely missed school why hadn't Mum or Jake woken me up I stumble out of bed and walk down stairs and find, Luke, Tesh, Calum, Jess, and Michael sitting around my lounge. 'What are you all doing here?" I ask, then it hit me, memories of last night flooded through my mind. She was gone, my wonderful mother, my hero she was gone, never to be seen again, forever. "Your up?" I hear a voice, the voice of my bestest friend in the whole wide world say behind me. "HANNAH!" I yell and pretty much jump on her giving a really tight hug, "Hey!" She say's hugging me back, the tears already started to fall. "It's okay sweetie, I'm here now, we'll get through this together one small step at a time." She said rubbing my back, I break out of the hug and ask everyone. "Where's Jake?" "He's in his room. I was talking to him but then I heard your voice." Hannah said, "Be right back!" I say and jog up the stairs. I knocked on Jake's door. "Come in!" He said, I walk in to find Jake cuddled up in bed with his baby blanket that he still sleeps with watching a movie. "What ya doing?" I ask and sit beside him. "Watching old videos." I turned to the screen and realized it wasn't just  a movie they were the movies Jake and I use to make when we were younger, those were some of my happiest memories. "I remember this one!" I say referring to the video of Jake and I at a river in New Zealand we found a big mud patch and decided we'd cover ourselves in it and mum recorded it, you could hear her beautiful laugh behind the camera. "Yeah! That was a good day." Jake say's. "And then on the way home we stopped and got ice-creams." I say, memories of that summer flooding back. "Yeah! And then when we got home we watched shrek with mum and then us two camped in the tent in the backyard." Jake say's. "Yeah! That was one great summer." I say, smiling at the memory. "What are we gonna do?" Jake say's, coming back to reality. "I have no idea. But we'll be in this together okay?" "Okay! But you have to promise you won't start your old habits up again?" He say's referring to my past of self-harm. "If you leave me, I'll have no one." He say's. "I promise Jake! "Thank you!" He say's and pulls me into a hug. "Are you good up here by yourself?" I ask. "Yeah! Go catch up with Hannah!" He say's, forcing a smile. "Okay! I'm just down stairs if you need me, okay?" "Okay!" And with that I jump up and walk out the door shutting the door behind me and walk down stairs.

Luke's P.O.V

Vanessa was upstairs talking to Jake. Calum, Tesh, Jess, Michael, Hannah and I were just sitting around the lounge flicking through channels and making small talk. I hated seeing Vanessa like this she was sad and there was nothing I could do to change that and all I wanted was her to be happy. She walked back down stairs and walked straight into to kitchen and then appeared in the lounge holding a few pills in one hand and a glass of water. "What's up?" Hannah asked. "Headache." She mumbled. The land line phone rang on the table beside me, "I got it." Hannah said and answered it saying. "Hello Hannah speaking." "Yes." Hang on. "Nessa, this person want's to talk to you?" "Hand it over." She say's with her hand out and walks into the other room after about 10 minutes she comes back and put's the phone on the hook. "What was that about?" Hannah asked. "One of my dad's sisters." She say's. "What did she want?" "She was asking about mum and making sure I was alright and if I needed anything." "Okay! Oh and a person rung about funeral arrangements." Hannah said. "Okay!" Vanessa said. Quickly followed by. "I appreciate you all being here to give me support an stuff but I need to be alone and sort everything out like the funeral and the legal stuff about me and Jake so could you all please leave, I promise I'll call if I need anything and Jess sorry for yesterday just a bit snappy I hope I didn't offend you!" "It's alright, it's completely forgotten! Call me if you need anything okay? Just a call away." Jess say's giving me a tight hug, followed by Tesh, Michael and Calum doing the same and mumbling things into er ear and then off they went. I thought she would tell me to leave but she just came and sat down on my knee. "Hello!" I say. "Hi." She say's. "Do you need anything?" I ask. "Just cuddles." She say's as a tear falls down her cheek. "I can do that." I wrap my arms around her and she rests her head on my chest, I feel her warm tears falling onto my singlet. "I'm gonna go have a nap! Wake me up if you need me." Hannah say's and walks up the stairs. "Where is she sleeping?" Vanessa asks lifting her head a little bit. "She's claimed the spare bedroom, well she's just put her bags in there so I guess she's sleeping there." I say. "Alright!" She say's laying her head down again. "I can't believe she's gone! I can't to this without her, I need her! She was my hero, I'm nothing without my mother by my side." Vanessa say's and cry's a little harder. "It's okay babe, you're strong and you will get through this I promise it may not be tomorrow, or a month from now, maybe not a year from now but you will get through this and me and all of your friends and family will never abandon you to face this alone! I'll never leave you, you can count on me to be there whenever you need me, you are my number one priority! I love you so much, okay? And so does Natalie she won't want you to give up, she may not be with you anymore in person but she will always be with you in you heart." I say.  "I love you Luke!" She say's. "I love you too." I say squeezing her a little tighter. "You mean the world to me Vanessa! I hate seeing you like this." I say kissing her on the forehead. "Luke, can you make me a sandwich, I'm starving?" She asks. "Of course." I stand up with her in my arms and walk her to the kitchen and put her on the kitchen bench. "What would you like in it.?" I ask her. "Hmmmm, ham, cheese, lettuce, mayo, and tomato.?" She say's. "Of course my darling." I say and look through the fridge for ingredients and make her, her ham, cheese, lettuce, mayo and tomato sandwich. "Here you go beautiful!" I sat and pass it to her she munches it down while I make myself one. "Thank you!" She say's. "Not a problem!" I say and carry her back to the couch. "You do know my legs work, right?" She say's. "Yeah! But you walk slow." I say poking her nose. We sit there cuddling for a view hours just chatting away about random things, she was smiling and laughing but I knew it was forced and fake but it was still nice to see her smile. A few rom-com's later Vanessa was passed out on my lap, I carefully carried her upstairs to her bedroom and into her bed without waking her up, I put her under the covers and then jumped in on the opposite side, she moved towards me and cuddled into me, sleep soon took over my exhausted body.

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So.? Um.. Hi! I have no idea what it's like to lose a parent like that so I really tried to capture the emotions I could imagine Vanessa feeling but I'm not sure if it worked to well.. Please tell me what you think? I can redo the chapter if you think it's quite right. :/ Sorry it's short, sorry if the title offends... ILY.

Anyway thank you for reading, Love you loads. <3

-Courtney <3