Psycho→𝙅𝙅𝙆

23. That night (Bonus)

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Jungkook's POV
(Two years ago)

"You're doing this because you feel sorry for her, not because you are in love." Jin voices his concern.

His comments pissed me off. Why was it so hard for him to believe that I married Y/n, not because out of sympathy but something much deeper than that? 

I remain silent though, because how am I supposed to explain to the man when I myself do not know what I am feeling?

Was it love? I don't know. I don't think Love is enough to describe the passion I feel for her.

I have been living with Y/n for a year and a half now. Not as her boyfriend, but merely as a guardian. She doesn't have any feelings for me; not a romantic one, at least. Our relationship is complicated and raw. Too real, and confusing for anyone to comprehend.

When Jin and I decided to enter the ring and found Y/n, I certainly didn't expect to save her nor could I have envisioned myself bringing her home. It was an impulsive decision I took out of rage.

I was angry. Towards myself and everyone in this fucking world. To my family who taught me to grow up to be nothing but a pawn to their own ambition. To the society, who made me turn into a selfish prick and to each and every single human working in that trafficking ring, who made Y/n's life a living hell.

At that time, when Jin briefly opposed my decision to take Y/n under my protection, to my home, I felt furious. It was that very moment I wanted to go against everything I was taught from a young age. To rebel, to protest and fight every single living beings that will stop me from helping the girl.

My father always told me to climb higher, be greedy and turn a blind eye to anyone whom I have to step on to reach the throne. Avoid others and help nobody; because you will never know who will turn out to be your competition.

But at that moment, I didn't want to. I did not want to avoid and wear a blindfold to make my own life better. I did not want to run from problems, but rather face them and conquer them. For once, I wanted to help.

Trust. That is what she has for me. That is what our relationship is founded upon.

Then why did I make that decision? That is a completely different story.

She doesn't care for me, nor she can provide anything for me. Yet, I am drawn to her. Obsessed with the idea of protecting her, keeping her close to me and destroying anyone who is willing to harm even a strand of her hair.

It took me months to earn her trust. For her to know that I will never harm her, never betray her. First few months, she stayed locked inside her room, away and hidden from me. She barely slept, in case I change my mind and pounce on her like a starving animal.

The first month was hell. Constant broken plates, shattered glasses and manic screams. I knew Saki had practically kept her alive on drugs, so I didn't expect her to accept her withdrawal easily. She tried to fight me, kill me and even beg me for the poison. But, I knew better to give in.

My days and night consisted of many rules. One of them was feeding her; it practically filled me with rage to see her so out of life, malnourished. Every time, my eyes landed on her thin, gaunt face and hollowed, lifeless eyes, my entire body pulsates with an intense urge to kill Saki all over again.

A few months later, she allowed me to enter her room more often. She let me sit beside her when feeding her. Gradually she trusted me enough to bathe her.

What started off as a desire to help, turned into a passionate feeling. And, when it happened I never knew.

Last week, we shared our first kiss.