Minho waves to me as I look down. My stomach is in knots. The harness around my torso was pulling gently on my shoulders, showing how tight it was. That was a good thing. I didn't want it falling off.
"Come on, Sung," Chan waves me over.
We were doing a ropes course. Basically, climbing horizontally through trees and ropes with harnesses. It was past thirty feet off of the ground. Minho refused to do it, but Felix pressured me into it.
There were obstacles, and they weren't fun. I wasn't having fun. But I paid for it, so I should definitely use my time up.
I come across about six square planks of wood hanging by ropes. Fuck. I squeal when I step onto it and my body sweeps through. My fingers are turning white as I grip onto the ropes.
I'm terrified of heights. It's not a fear. It's a phobia.
I breathe heavily through my mouth, closing my eyes and waiting until the swinging calms down. Just breathe. You're fine.
I go across quickly, not before taking a few more stops. Felix was behind me. Only one person was allowed on the obstacle.
Now, three logs of wood are before me. They are standing vertical with two pegs of wood at the bottom to step on. How the fuck am I supposed to do this?
"Channie, how the hell?"
Chan is already ahead. He looks back, smiling to himself. "Go on the left side. Hook your legs around and go back and forth. Almost like a monkey."
I try. It doesn't work. My feet both lift off the ground and I'm quick to push myself back to the wooden platform. Fucking hell. I can't.
"You got this, Sung!" Felix comes behind me. "I can go if you want."
"It's okay. I got this."
I step forward again, fully letting the platform fall away from me. My arms hug the log tightly, and I'm quick to step to the second one. Unfortunately, my balance wasn't with me today. Before I know it, I'm falling.
And then with a tug, the harness catches me. I try grabbing the log, hugging it and throwing my legs over the pegs.
"Try to get your feet on the third log," a staff from below yells, watching my struggle.
I try, but we've been here for awhile. My upper body strength has been diminished. I shouldn't have pushed myself to move forward.
My breathing gets heavier as the logs swing back and forth. The harness is tight around my thighs, almost bruising them.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Swing your legs to grab the other log."
I try so hard. My hands are so weak and I'm trembling. I can't pull myself up. I have no energy whatsoever.
"Do you need help?" The staff shouts up to me.
"Please!" I yell back, swallowing my panic, though it doesn't help. My breaths are quick and shallow. It's fine, it's fine.
The harness is going to break. I'm going to fall to my death. He's not going to get me in time. I'm going to die. I'm stuck here.
"Jisung, Jisung, baby. Deep breaths. It's okay. He's almost there," Minho shouts up to me, wanting to reassure me.
I just nod, hugging the log tighter. Looking down certainly wasn't helping my situation.
After a few minutes, the staff pulls along my harness across the rope. "You did good at keeping calm. Take a few minutes. I know it didn't feel good to sit there."
"Thanks, it didn't feel like I was calm." As soon as my legs hit the platform, I sink to my knees. I couldn't stand with how panicky I was feeling. They were currently noodles.
He smiles, adjusting his own harness straps. After awhile, he starts going back the course to get down. Felix makes it through, but I asked to go first. If I needed help, he'd be there to get me.
Wooden plank-like swings are in front of me. I've already gone on something like this. As soon as I step, I realize I'm not ready to go on. But I try to anyway.
When I step to the second plank, it slips from under me and catches the third board, sticking me in a place I didn't want to be. And the panic starts again as I try to help myself. Nothing.
"Okay, Jisung, let go," Felix tells me from behind. "The harness has you, don't worry. I'm going to try and pull you back."
I nod, ever so slowly loosening my grip on the rope and sitting so my harness had all of my weight. The planks swing back to their places as Felix pulls me back.
My ass hits the platform first and I lay back, scooting as close to the center as I can. I hug the tree, letting him clip my clips onto the steady rope.
"Do you think you can get across this after you've calmed down or do you want me to get you down?" The staff asks, still not having left his place from the other platform.
"Please get me down," I say, my voice wavering as I get on my knees.
"Okay, I'll call someone to help. Just stay there."
"You're doing great, baby!" Minho shouts up, waving at me with a smile.
I can't even look at him. I look up to the sky, swallowing back tears. I wanted to vomit. The other staff takes five minutes to get the other harness, leaving me to calm my shaky hands.
"I'm going to lock you into this. I need you to set your feet out like this. This is heavy duty and it is completely safe. I've got you."
I nod, hesitantly letting myself be held over the open area once again. The rope slowly lets me down, the height going down quickly.
Minho is right beneath me, catching me in his arms and setting me gently on the ground. I unclip myself before jumping into his arms.
"It's okay, it's okay," he reassures. "You're safe. Let's go get some water, yeah?"
I nod again. My legs wobbled as we made our way to a nearby bench. Minho goes to buy a water, leaving me to myself. Heights aren't my thing, and they never will be. If anything, this made it worse.
•How was this?
This happened to me in this exact order :,) I hate heights and had a panic attack while hanging•
