8:19pm
Trigger warning: abusive parents
I hate chocolate
Fun facts with Satan
Au
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"I said stay the fuck away from me, Roman" Patton snarled at the boy who had walked up to him during break, the brightly dressed boy clenched his hands into fists before throwing his arms up in the air in exasperation.
"Why?! What have I-we done?" He gestured to his two friends a distance away, talking to each other but facing their friend. "We just want to be your friend" Roman tried again, arms lowering to his side, but he knew he wouldn't be able to get through to Patton - no one has. From birth it seemed he hasn't had a single friend, he's hostile to everyone and anyone who tries to talk to him, obtaining countless detentions and suspensions from how he treats faculty. In the end they stopped trying - it seemed the only person that still tries is Roman and his two friends, Logan and Virgil, but even they were reaching their breaking point.
"Take a hint" Patton stood up from his chair, it falling onto the ground loudly. "I don't want to be your - or anyone's - friend" with that, he took his leave, barging his shoulder into Logan who waited in the doorway, he stumbled but Virgil caught him before he could fall fully.
As Patton walked away, he ignored the few students who lingered in the hallway, a few pausing their conversations to stare while others taunted him - finding it absolutely hilarious when he would turn red in anger, but when he retaliated (which he always does) with punches and kicks, they don't find it as funny anymore.
Luckily, he restrained himself today, besides it was only two young boys, they were just following the crowd. However, if he caught them again he didn't think they'd be as lucky.
His classes went by as usual - with him doing barely any of his work, students keeping a few desks between him and them, and the teacher being too worried he'd lash out to try and talk to him, so in the end everyone let him do what he wanted, out of fear for themselves and others in the class.
At the end of the day he left last lesson early, walking through the swarm of students was hellish and with their taunts and quick movements to avoid him, it all made it very hectic and hard to walk through, so he just up and leaves to distance himself from it all, making it even more less likely to ever become remotely close to someone in this damned school.
The street he lived on was quite far away from the school, so by the time he could see his house he was sure everyone else was already home - bar the odd few students who stay behind for clubs and such. His pace slowed as he headed up the driveway, hesitating to open the door, knowing his parents were home. Taking in a quiet breath, he turned the knob and pushed open the door slowly, looking into the small foyer covered with a stained carpet and horribly coloured walls.
He thought he could go hide away in his room but it seemed he closed the door behind him a bit too loudly, as before he knew it his father was appearing in the living room doorway, face stone cold as it usually was, beer bottle hanging loosely from his hand that was crossed over his chest.
"I thought I told you to piss off" he grumbled, voice low and horse. Patton gripped his bag strap tight, forcing himself to keep his face from turning into a glare. "Where can I go?" he responded, voice low and void of emotion, but not too much to sound sarcastic. He had to keep track of every darn thing he did in this fucking house.
"Does it look like I care, boy?"
You should, I'm your son! He wanted to say but he didn't exactly want to get hit around the head.
"Who is it, Honey?" He heard his mothers voice call from the living room before her head appeared through the doorway, losing her smile when she spotted her son. "He's still here?" She turned to her husband who shrugged and gestured towards the door. Patton clenched his jaw, turned on his heel and left the house, knowing they didn't exactly care where he went, or if he stayed in his room for the night.
Walking around the house, he climbed up the tree outside his room and opened his window he always kept a jar open for these instances. Climbing on in, he shut the window most of the way, his room was cold enough as it is, his radiator had never worked and most of the time he'd catch a cold from just being in here.
Dropping his bag, he sat down on his bed and held his head in his hands. In the end he knew his parents would change his room into something else, he'd heard plans of them wanting a gym or some shit, by then he'd truly have nowhere to go. He couldn't believe them, he was their son, biological son, it wasn't like he was given to them as a gift from a friend, they knew what they were doing, she had wanted to get pregnant, they both wanted a child.
Patton guessed he just wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough for anyone.
Looking into his bag, he scooped out some work and set it on his desk, sitting down and glancing at the mirror leaning against the wall right in front of him. He sometimes stared at his reflection for hours at a time, most evenings he'd leave on the light and just gaze, wondering, imagining what it would like to be different, to be kind, to have a family that loved him.
Most days he could think of it perfectly, others he would have a hard time. Those 'other' days were usually the ones his parents would resort to physical abuse to get their hatred through to him. On those days he was so low he couldn't imagine anyone liking him, even if he was different, even if he was nice.
No one could love him.
He silently did his work, it was a good pass time, mainly the reason why he didn't do it in school, he didn't want to be bored when he was home. Luckily he was able to drag it out through the afternoon, by the time he was finished his room was considerably darker, but still light enough to see. Packing his books back into his bag, he sat down at his desk once again, arms resting on the surface, eyes staring straight ahead into his own.
"You're unlovable" he murmured to his reflection, eyes growing cold. "You're unlovable and-and...and mean. You're so mean" his voice broke to a whisper as tears welled up in his eyes that usually held such an icy exterior, while underneath the thin sheet it's an ocean of sadness.
"Why are you so mean?" He carried on, eyes closing, head dropping. "Why can't I be different? Why can't I just be...the opposite?" He then lifted his head again, "why can't everything be the opposite of what it is?" He sniffled and swallowed, trying to budge the clog in his throat. It hurt. Everything hurt.
Looking down at his desk again, he lifted his hand, wanting to touch the mirror but the more he moved his arm forward, he realised he wasn't actually touching anything, still! He should be at least touching the wall if he did miss the mirror. Looking up in confusion, he gasped and recoiled his arm speedily, staring at the mirror with wide, fearful eyes.
No, no...that-that was impossible, he did not just see his hand go through the mirror!
Standing from his seat, he shook his head and continuously murmured 'no, no' under his breath, trying to convince himself he wasn't going mad, but he kept glancing back, staring at that mirror more and more.
"It didn't happen, it didn't, and I'm going to prove it" he reassured himself, even if he sounded confident he wasn't at all, shakily moving towards the mirror, hand trembling as it moved through the air, ready to touch the glass, ready to feel it's cold surface against his finger tips, but when it didn't, when it slipped through again as if it weren't there he yelped and jumped back, landing on his bed and tugging the sheet over his head, trying to reason with himself what was happening.
It was a dream, it must be! Pinching his skin, he hissed, not waking up. Still, this...this couldn't be real, it wasn't possible, he was either going insane or it was a dream, and he wouldn't wake up. Like Alice in Wonderland - it was a dream and she couldn't wake up!
Swallowing, he moved the sheet from over his head, staring at the mirror that looked completely normal. Taking in a shaky breath, he stood up and dragged his feet across the floor, his brain telling him to run, get away from here, but the rest of him telling him to touch it again, to not be so scared, to see what it actually was.
"This is a dream" he whispered, hand hovering before the glass, "nothing can hurt me" reassured, he let his fingers slip through again, moving them around quite easily. He moved further in, most of his arm in the mirror now. When his fingers brushed against something, he paused, but realised it was just a wooden surface, the exact same feeling his desk had.
His curiosity was killing him, so eventually he stuck his head in too, surprised to see an exact replica of his room but just...opposite. The door was on the other side, his bed against a different wall, the window the other side, he found it odd yet enticing. Climbing up onto his desk, he pulled his whole body through until he was completely on the other side, slowly moving to stand on the ground, looking across the entire room.
Why did it feel so much...warmer?
Walking towards the radiator, he touched the metal only to whip his hand back. It worked. It was hot to the touch - how?
He shook his head and backed away, sitting on the bed that had a different blanket, too, a thicker one, it wasn't just a sheet anymore. And his pillow, it was an actual pillow!
He brushed his hand across it, awestruck. This was the best dream he had ever had! Quickly changing his clothes into his pyjamas (found in his closet which was full of clothes? And actually had pyjamas that weren't ripped or too small?) he slipped under the warm blanket, head resting on the pillow, sighing out in bliss.
He knew if he fell asleep he'd just wake up in his room in the morning, back in his old life, but for now he would cherish this, cherish this dream his brain made up for him, maybe to make him feel just a little happy for a few minutes. That was nice of it.
With a small smile on his face, he curled up and fell asleep, the nicest sleep he had had in awhile. For what seemed like years, even.
"Patton, Patton Dear, c'mon, wake up Honey" a soft voice called through to Patton. He scrunched up his face a little, letting out a soft groan. The voice chuckled, running a hand through Patton's mussed up hair, but the boy didn't mind, he smiled lightly and let it happen, leaning into the touch, content with listening to the voice hum a gentle tune.
The moment would've lasted longer if Patton didn't realise that whoever was doing this to him he didn't know, and it most certainly wasn't his mother or father!
His eyes flew open and he flinched back, hitting against the wall his bed was placed against. The person the voice belonged to looked shock to see him move so quickly, but their face contorted to worry a moment later. "Patton Dear! What's the matter?"
"M...mom?" He whispered, unable to do anything else other than stare at the woman who only yesterday wondered why he was in her house. "Yes, it's me sweetheart, come here" she sat on the edge of his bed and slowly, ever so slowly he shuffled into her arms, gasping silently when she hugged him close, tightly, protectively, running a hand up and down his back.
Who was this and what has she done with his actual mom?! They looked the exact same yet were the complete opposite!
Oh...oh, god! The mirror! Was that...was that not a dream? No, no, it was! This must be a continuation! He's had dreams this long before, even longer, they weren't lucid, but this can't be real life, it wasn't, he didn't want to believe it, he couldn't. It was too impossible. You can't just go through mirrors into a new world.
"Did you have a nightmare?" His mother murmured, rocking back and forth. Patton didn't have any other excuse so nodded, she let out a noise of concern, "do you want to talk about it?"
Patton hesitated, then shook his head. "Okay, Honey, but whatever happened isn't real - nothing from it can hurt you, trust me, nothing can - not when I'm here to protect you" she leaned back and smiled down at him, pressing her lips against his forehead tenderly. "I'll beat any monster's ass for you, Dear"
Patton let out a chuckle, thanking his mom quietly, even if it felt absurd to do so. "Get dressed and come down to breakfast, alright? Dad made your favourite" with another kiss to his forehead, she stood up and left the room, sending him a smile before she closed the door.
Patton stayed on his bed for a moment, heart hammering, mind whirling with thoughts and questions. In the end he guessed he had imagined what would his life be like with loving parents for so long his brain finally gave him what he wanted in whatever way it could - by dream. He smiled.
"Thanks, brain" he murmured, tapping his head before standing up and bounding over to his wardrobe. He peeked in, looking at the bright clothes he never would have worn outside his dream. He looked through it all before settling on a baby blue polo top and beige trousers, finding himself humming the same tune his mother was earlier before he woke up fully with a start.
Slipping on shoes and grabbing his bag, he wondered down the staircase, looking into the kitchen, heart melting when he saw his mother and father hugging, sharing a sweet kiss filled with love. The two barely loved each other in real life so this...this was really nice to see.
"Hey mom, dad" Patton greeted, finding it very disorienting that everything was opposite, but he could get used to it without crashing into everything...mostly.
"Morning, Pat" his dad ruffled his hair, placing down a plate full of warm pancakes, topped with syrup and butter. Patton's mouth watered as he looked at it, jaw slacked a little from how delicious it seemed!
"Eat up, Kiddo! Wouldn't want to be late" his mother encouraged, taking a seat too, opposite dad. Patton looked around the table, the sight almost bringing tears to his eyes. He had never had a meal like this with his family before, not at the table, never, ever. Plus, this seemed to be the first warm food he's had in weeks, so his mom didn't need to tell him twice.
He swallowed the three pancakes like they were nothing, moving onto the orange juice which he basically inhaled. He wondered how he had so much taste in his dream but at this point he was pushing those thoughts so far back he could barely hear them anymore.
"The bus should be here soon" his dad reminded, leaving the room after stacking the plates in the sink. "Have a great day at school, Dear" his mother ruffled his hair before she left, too. Patton sniffled, wiping at his eyes that may have teared up a little but one couldn't blame him - this was something he had wanted for years and to him it was finally coming true, even in dream form.
Leaving the house, he jumped aboard the bus, finding it in him to smile at the driver who smiled back. He took a seat at the front, expecting the people in nearby seats to move away but when a few of them just smiled at him or didn't even notice him, he felt ready to cry again - he guessed he didn't realise how much it actually hurt when people would move.
Staring at the scenery, he noticed everything seemed so much brighter, better, more...happy. He wouldn't mind living in this dream forever.
The bus stopped at the school and everyone climbed off, laughing, talking to their friends as they either headed to more or just walked into the school. Patton intended to do the latter but when two arms wrapped around him from behind he tensed up, wondering who the heck was hugging him.
"Oh, Patton! I've missed you!"
"Knock it off, Virge - you saw him yesterday" another voice responded before he could. When the person let go, Patton could finally turn around to see who it was and was shocked to see Logan, Roman and Virgil standing there before him, all looking different. Logan looked similar to him, with pastel clothing and a smile on his face, Virgil looked done up and quite like Roman from outside of the dream while Roman here wore dark clothing and seemed quite emo.
This was all really weird but Patton could get used to it.
"Hey, guys.." he greeted a little awkwardly, he never had a friend before, that couldn't be helped.
"Hey, Patton" Logan responded with a delicate smile, eying Virgil who's attention was caught by a group of boys who walked by. Before he could saunter on over, Roman grabbed his arm and gave him a look, silently telling him to keep it in his pants.
"We're-um...we're friends?" Patton then asked in confusion, making the three boys furrow their eyebrows in confusion, sharing a glance, wondering if either of them knew what he meant. Did this mean he actually wanted to be friends with these three in real life? If it was happening now, then surely, right? He knew he wouldn't mind having a friend, someone he could talk to, someone that could comfort him - he guessed he never thought of himself good enough to have a friend. That probably stemmed from his ruined self esteem. He could thank his parents for that.
"I hope so" Virgil responded with a chuckle, head tilted to the side, gazing at the boy curiously. Logan stepped up to him, quietly asking if he was okay.
"What? Me?" Patton chuckled, "I'm awesome" and that was the truth, he hasn't felt like this before, ever, the happiness that soured through him made him realise he could be happy in real life, too, it wasn't as impossible as he originally assumed.
"I was just kidding! Gotta keep you all on your toes" he giggled, giving Logan a quick hug just because he could before he twirled around and headed for school, calling for his friends to 'come on and hurry up'.
"He's chipper today" Roman commented, hands stuffed into his pockets. "When is he not?" Virgil responded, winking at the group of boys who loitered around the stairs leading up to the school.
"Look at this place!" Patton gushed, gazing around the reception area, "it looks so clean! And bright!" He complimented, smiling at literally everyone he passed by. The three friends didn't comment on it, this was just how Patton usually acted, it seemed he was merely extra happy today which they could never complain about.
He stopped in the hallway, noticing his friends walked over towards their locker. He hurried over too, watching them all and deducing the locker between Logan and Roman was his. Walking up to it, he put in the code he had for his locker in real life, thankful it worked and opened right away.
He looked at all the pictures stuck up on the inner side of the door, smile fading from his face. They were pictures of him and his family, all bright and happy, while others were of him and his friends, smiling, laughing...
He slowly closed the door - looking at those pictures brought on a wave of sadness.
"You okay, Pat? You look sad" Logan commented with a frown, placing his books into his bag. Patton managed a smile again, nodding quickly. "I'm great, Lo. I promise" he reassured, not wanting to explain what he was actually feeling to his friends - he wanted this moment of joy to last, not be ruined by his true emotions.
"If you're sure" Logan nodded an believed him, allowing him to loop an arm through his, the two walking together to class while Virgil skipped on ahead, dragging Roman behind him, even if Roman pretended to hate it, everyone could see that slight smile he desperately tried to hide.
"Hey, Lo?"
"Yeah, Pat?"
Patton looked at the side of his face, biting his lip. "How long do you think lucid dreams last?" Logan turned his head to stare at him for a moment, gaze returning forward to make sure he wouldn't bump into anyone. "I don't know" he shrugged, "until you wake up?" He suggested and Patton nodded, praying with everything in him that nothing would wake him up until absolutely necessary.
They entered class and Patton sat on the table with his friends, all bursting into conversation once given the work. For a few moments, Patton found himself withdrawing to silence, happy to watch the three boys talk and smile, barely focusing on their work in favour of conversing.
Patton couldn't remember the last time he was apart of a conversation like this. But it made him think - maybe his brain was trying to tell him something. These three boys (in real life) don't want to hurt him or insult him, they really do want to be his friend and all he does is push them away. He could have this in real life if he stopped being so mean, if he was just...the opposite of who he was.
He hasn't felt this comfortable with himself in awhile, it was nice to not be so mean, he wanted it to last. Maybe even last forever. But he knew that was his job - he would have to make it last forever, and he would, he promised himself right there he would make this last - he would never, ever insult, hurt or hit anyone ever again.
And that made him happy. Really happy.
For the rest of the day he couldn't stop smiling, and when he arrived home he didn't enter the house with hesitance, he wasn't careful about how he acted and what he said, he was able to be himself, smile, laugh, even joke around with his parents who merely would laugh in response and sometimes ruffle his hair.
He especially liked it when his mom would kiss his forehead - he couldn't get enough.
That night, resting in his bed, he assumed he'd wake up back in the real world, but he didn't. He was woken up around four am, a car driving by the house just a little too loudly. He yawned, stretched and sat up, quickly understanding he was still in the dream.
Curiously, he got out of bed and walked towards the mirror, touching the surface but his hand went straight through again - just like the last time. Then he had a thought, if this wasn't a dream, and it was real...does he want to go back?
He stared at his reflection, his eyes were different, his eyes were sad, his clothes weren't the pyjamas he was wearing - he was what he was in his world. A battered, broken boy with no one to go to, no one to fix him.
He reached forward, the reflection doing the exact same, and Patton knew what he had to do. He didn't have to go back if he didn't want to, but in his world was a boy, a boy who needed help and if there was no one else to save him, he guessed he would have to be the one to do so.
Getting onto the desk, he manoeuvred his body on through, gazing at the room that was back to normal. His pyjamas ruined, bedding nothing but a sheet and a thin pillow - but that was good. He wasn't dreaming anymore.
Getting down, he laid on his bed and let out a breath, it was cold, freezing even, but he would get through it. He would do anything for that boy who looked so helpless. So alone.
That morning, bright and early, he got up, dressed and grabbed his bag, rushing out the house before his parents could say anything to him. He didn't get on the bus, instead he hurried to school as fast as he could, thankful by the time he got there the bell hadn't gone and he still had a few minutes before homeroom started.
Wondering inside the school, he ignored the fact students parted to get away from him, he also ignored the students who would taunt him - instead, he turned around and sent them a smile which shocked them to silence.
"Just give it a rest, Roman!" Patton heard that all familiar voice from down a hallway. Turning the corner, he spotted the three boys lingering by a locker. "But he's hurt! We have to try, one more time, please" Roman begged his two friends who both had their arms crossed, expressions showing they weren't going to let him talk to Patton again.
Well, they wouldn't need to try and become his friend again.
He slowly wondered over, catching their attention quite quickly.
"Patton" Roman greeted, taking a step closer but Patton shook his head, he wanted to speak.
"I'm sorry" he began, "I'm sorry for hurting you, for insulting you and-...and telling you I didn't want to be your friend. You three are great people and I really, really don't deserve you" as he spoke he felt tears sting at his eyes, but he pushed on.
"Please, please forget about me - I'm not worth it" he finished, he didn't want to bring them down with him, he would help that boy but not like this, not by making him worry all the time whether or not he was good enough for these boys.
But, the three wouldn't let him off the hook that easily.
"Yes you are" Roman instantly denied his statement, "not worth it!? Patton! Of course you are! We've wanted to be your friend for years, because we know you're not okay, and we know you're alone, and hurt - we want to help you, do you really think we would still be trying if we didn't think you were worth it?"
"But I'll just bring you down-"
"You won't bring any of us down" Virgil cut him off, "we promise"
Patton looked at all three of them, ready to break down in that moment. "You really want to help me?"
"We do, Patton" Logan confirmed, the boy nodded and stared at the ground for a moment, fidgeting with his hands.
"Then would you... know a place I could stay for a few weeks?"
In the end, the boys did find him a place to stay, but not just for a few weeks - they helped him get away from his family and into a new one. One that loved him. One that never made him want everything to be opposite of what it was.
—
Eh
12:05pm