Copyright © 2019 Nicole Mckoy
Zoey P.O.V.
I lay in my bed just looking up at the ceiling. I couldn't get what happened out of my mind.
Caleb really had me hide his drugs so he wouldn't get busted by the police officer who pulled him over.
When Caleb dropped me off I got out of his car and got my suitcase. I didn't say anything to him as I headed up to my apartment.
I touched my neck as I felt the necklace he'd bought me. I hadn't taken it off since he bought it for me. Although I think I need to take it off now.
I didn't know what to do about Caleb.
He is clearly an addict in denial.
I couldn't put up with that.
I sat up in bed as I heard a knock at my door.
"Come in," I said.
The door opened and Cheyenne walked in.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," I said as she walked over to my bed.
I sat up as she sat on my bed.
"We haven't really talked in a while. You've been pretty busy jet setting with your new boss and all," she slightly teased.
"Yeah... I guess I've been busy," I said distant.
"Is everything ok?" Cheyenne asked.
I wanted to tell her everything was shit. I wanted to tell her she was so right about Caleb. I wanted to tell her what happened last night when he picked me up at the airport. I wanted to tell her everything that I'd been keeping to myself.
But I knew I couldn't say a word. I mean once she tell a family member or close friend the bad about your boyfriend they never look at the person the same.
As much as my head was telling me to be done with Caleb my heart wanted to save him.
So telling Cheyenne anything bad about Caleb was a no go. I couldn't confirm her doubts about him
As Cheyenne waited for me to say something there was a knock coming from the front door.
"I'll get it," she said.
She got up from my bed and went to see who was here.
I laid back down and turned on my side.
What the hell am I going to do about my relationship?
I waited for Cheyenne to come back.
A few moments later I heard footsteps and felt like there was a presence at my door.
"Who was at the door?" I asked thinking Cheyenne had come back.
"It's me," I heard a male voice.
I sat up quickly and saw Caleb standing in my doorway.
"What are you doing here?" I said slightly pissed off.
Caleb walked into my bedroom and closed the door. He had a brown paper bag with him and a coffee cup.
"I brought you breakfast," he said as he walked over to me.
"Are your drugs hiding in it," I said bitterly.
"Zoey I'm sorry about last night," he said.
"For what part? The part where I find out you are still doing drugs or the part where you have me hide them from the cops... or I know... the part where you deny clearly being addicted!" I said.
"Zoey can you just hear me out?" he asked.
Caleb sat the coffee and bag of food on my nightstand.
He sat down on my bed and I moved my knees up to my chest. I didn't really want to be close to him right now.
"I smoked my first blunt at fourteen. I had sex for the first time while I was high as fuck at fifteen... it was the first night I ever did any drug. I was at this boat party that some seniors from my high school. I don't even remember the girl I fucked all I know is she was older and way more experienced than I was at the time. By the time I was a senior in high school I was snorting coke regularly. I wouldn't call myself addicted because at that time I wasn't desperate to have it. I just did it when I went to parties... which was on weekends. But then I got to college and took some pills to help me concentrate in my classes since I spent most nights partying my ass off. In college I was a mess. I would party more than I would study. I fucked any chick that would let me hit it. In college is when I met Courtney. She's younger than me but I knew of her brother first. The brother that deals.... Not Stewart. Lets just say her brother introduced us. Courtney and I were like friends with benefits but she was like you.... she wanted a boyfriend and I wasn't into that. But unlike you she didn't push for a label. When we hooked up we hooked up... if I wanted to be with other girls she dealt with it. But at one party she did a little too much... Stewart had to come get her and I was with her... we got into a fight. He's always had it out for me since then. Zoey I'm telling you all this to prove that I take us serious even if I don't act like it. I know you see me in a light that most people don't see me in. You want to save me I can see it. But I can't be saved Zoey. I just can't be. Look I'm not addicted to the point that I'd ever overdose. But I do use.... And I'm not trying to stop. This is me being honest with you," Caleb admitted.
I didn't know what to say or how to feel.
Caleb was finally being open with me but telling me things that scared me.
Things I didn't want to hear.
"Caleb I can't be with a guy that puts his hands on me," I said.
"Zoey I'm sorry for that. I really am. I just snapped," Caleb apologized.
"You snapped because I got rid of your drugs... if you weren't an addict you wouldn't have reacted that way," I said.
"Zoey-"
"Caleb admit it! You have an addiction! Just say it," I pushed.
"Zoe-"
"Say it!" I pushed.
"Fuck it! Fine maybe I'm more attached to the shit than I realize. But I never meant to hurt you. You gotta believe me," Caleb said as he moved closer to me.
"Caleb you scared me. You betrayed the trust I had in you," I said.
"Well can we rebuild it," he asked.
"Do you even want to?" I asked.
"Zoey you're good for me and good to me. You care about me when you really shouldn't. I know I need a woman like you in my life... to keep me straight and level headed," he said.
"Caleb I won't be with an addict. I can't be. It's too dangerous and I won't watch you self destruct," I said.
"Zoey I want to be what you deserve," he said.
"Then tell me you'll stop... for real this time. No falling back into old habits," I said.
"I don't have anymore coke. After last night I got rid of it," he said.
"By doing it?" I asked.
"Zoey-"
"Tell me," I pushed.
"Yes I did it," he admitted.
"Caleb-"
"It was the last time. Baby I promise," he said.
Caleb reached for me and pulled me forward. His blue eyes stared into my brown ones.
I straddled his lap as he cupped my face in his hands.
"Caleb I want to believe you can change... I want to help you be the man I know you can be," I said.
"Then help me..." he said.
"Are you really willing to take the help. I mean put in the work to better yourself and not fall back into old patterns?" I asked.
"I'm willing to try... all I can do is try Zoe," he said.
At least Caleb was being more open to taking some help.
This was a start... I guess.
"Ok," I said.
"So are we good babe?" he asked.
I looked into his eyes still unsure.
Everything in me is screaming run.
Don't buy into this.
It's bullshit.
He's bullshitting you.
He's never going to change.
He's just telling you what you want to hear.
Don't fall for this.
But my heart was telling me to be open. To be patient and not turn my back on him. To be the one person that doesn't think he's just a junkie. To be the one person who believes in him.
"Yeah... we're good," I said hoping I wouldn't regret giving him another chance.
I want Caleb to change. I know he can change. He just needs someone supporting him. He just needs a good woman by his side and I know I can be that woman for him.
I don't want to be the person to give up on him and then find out later he overdoses or something worse because he didn't have anyone looking out for him.
He needs me and I have to be here for him.
Caleb leaned into me and pecked my lips as he ran his fingers through my hair.
He laid me back on the bed as he got between my legs.
I pushed his jacket off his shoulders and he slipped his tongue into my mouth.
He got his jacket off and I pulled his shirt over his head as he pulled my pajama shorts down.
I heard him unbuckling his belt and he pulled his pants and boxers down just enough to release his member.
I got so lost in our kiss that when he thrust inside me my body felt numb.
Caleb pulled back and buried his head in the crook of my neck as he fucked me.
I kept my legs wrapped around him. Letting the heels of my feet dig into his calves.
Caleb pecked my lips as his hands gripped my hips. I felt his nails digging into my skin as he thrust in and out of me at a fast pace.
My headboard started knocking against the wall and I felt myself on edge. I couldn't hold back. I couldn't take it.
I dug my nails into his back as I kept up with his steady pace.
I moaned in pleasure as he grunted with satisfaction.
We were both close and I knew any second his seed was going to fill me.
Caleb gave me one last deep thrust and I moaned as I climaxed.
He was right there with me and cursed into my neck as his seed filled me.
Caleb gave me every drop he had.
When he was done his body collapsed on top of mine.
I didn't mind his body weight lying on top of me. I felt that we'd broken such a barrier with him telling me about his past. I felt so much closer to him right in this moment than I ever had before.
He trusted me enough to tell me the truth, to tell me his struggles.
Caleb pulled back a bit and pushed my hair out of my face.
He pecked my lips then pulled out of me.
He lay down beside me and placed his arm over his forehead.
I lay there beside him with my legs spread with his seed inside me wondering what was next for us.
Will he really change or have I just made a huge mistake by not walking away when I had the chance.