It has been long ever since I've updated, but anyways... here is another chapter. Have fun reading guys... remember to vote and comment, let me know what you think. So it was my sister's wedding on Sunday, that is the reason why i have been busy and not updating, but anyways... i will be updating twice a week as usual. I love you guys!
Elia.
Still seated on the couch, with Nathaniel as emotional as never, I rest my head on his shoulder. I look up at his face as his eyes are still on the TV, red and puffy. He looks drained, physically and emotionally. He looks down at me and passes a small smile which I gladly return. How did we end up here? Not many weeks ago we were hitting round the bush to express our feeling, before that, he hated me so much. I never thought this day will come where we sit on the couch on my birthday not talking, but just enjoying each other's company. Nathaniel looks down at me again, and this time I look away blushing.
"It's your birthday." He whispers. I nod shifting until I feel comfortable on his shoulder. "What's your wish?" he asks. I close my eyes. What do I wish? I wish for many things, many, many things. I was told I am selfish and self-centered a lot of times in my life. That is true, I am me, I sometimes want things for only myself... and I don't think it's a bad thing to be selfish, it's just a natural instinct where you want things for yourself, to put yourself first in everything, before anyone, because, you are going to be with you your whole life. That's why I don't want to tell Nathaniel my wishes, there are all about me. Normally, one would wish for their relationship to last, to be together forever. But, as for me, all my wishes have nothing to do with anyone but myself.
I wish I would be happy, like this... at least for a bit while until I am able to hold myself up. I wish to see my mom... I know it will never happen, but I have a lot a questions I have for her. I wish I could have a small chat with my dad, to ask him how wherever he is going. I wish to finish my school, graduate, go away either with or without Nathaniel away to start all over my life. I am not saying I don't love or care about Nathaniel, I do, he is what I think every second of my life, but I have things I want for me, that's why I will keep them to myself.
"I'll tell you one day... not today." At least I am not lying to him. "What would you wish if santa was to come?" I ask.
"You mean if he was real?" he snickers. "You and I both know he is real Nate!" I laugh sitting up straight.
"Uh, one... I know nothing about that and two... never call me Nate... do you know you were calling me Nate bro in your orgasm!?" My eyes widen as I slap his shoulder hard.
"I never called you that! And don't remind me that" I blush covering my face as visions of this morning come floating in my head. I even think of the time I had to fuck his mouth straddling his face. Holly Fuck! That is embarrassing. I groan. Nathaniel rubs the spot that i have slapped him.
"Hey..." Nathaniel laughs. I look at him past through my parted fingers. "Never remind me of that." I sternly say. He bites his bottom lip and nods.
"Tell me what you would wish for." I remind him of our previous conversation.
"I'd wish you wouldn't be so secretive and open up a little." My eyes snap at his eyes. He has a small smile on his lips. I just look at him and don't say a thing.
"You're doing it again." "That thing where you have an emotionless face." he says. I look down at my lap, before I look back at him and smile. "I got you something for Christmas, stay here."
I run upstairs, forcing my mind not to think of what Nathaniel has just told me. I I know what I got him is pretty cheesy and stupid, but that's what I could afford. I mean, if I was Justin Bieber I would have gotten him maybe a car or some diamond ring, but I just got him what I can. I hope he'll like it.
I enter my room in haste and walk over my closet. Since I'm in a hurry to show him what I got, I pull all the clothes on the top shelf seeking for the thick gift bags I got earlier this week. Thank God for my distorted height, I can't reach them, so I end up getting on a stool to reach out for the bags.
With my hands trembling I make my way back downstairs. Is he going to like it? I walk slowly down the stairs, I should just tell him I didn't get him anything right?
The bag loosely hangs on my fingers. I hide the bag behind me and walk until I am in front of Nathaniel. He looks up at me, a grin forming on his lips.
"Happy bir-" I stop myself a deep blush covering my face with my other hand. "...I mean, merry Christmas!" I add a bit of exaggerated enthusiasm. Nathaniel looks at me with a thrilled face on, he blinks before tilting his head to peek and the gift back behind me.
"Yeah it's my birthday huh?"
I stretch the bag to him. He takes it and examine it looking at me here and there. "It's not much though, just a-"
"Oh my god Elia!" Nathaniel literally gasps pulling the personalized leather watch and sunglasses slot. His name is printed on the top 'Nathaniel' with white bold ink. He looks up at me as I shift uncomfortably. His hands fumble with the box until he opens it. He pulls the silver polarized aviator sunglasses out first and puts them on. His lips turns to a pout as he gazes at me.
"Ain't I looking hot than the word itself?" and it's true, I should accept, I have a very good taste of style. I nod still feeling uncomfortable but keeping a smile on my face. He pulls the watch out at last and looks at it. "You shouldn't have gotten me anything..."
"I wanted to." I tell him. He stands up and walks to me. he pulls me into a tight hug that makes my knees weak. "I love the gift, thank you so much." His hug gets tight. I shriek pushing him off.
"Are you trying to break my ribs?" I laugh.
He cups my cheeks and leans in to kiss me. I immediately kiss him back introducing tongue. Nathaniel moans placing his hands on my waist. He pulls back first.
"You should get ready now, I'm gonna go back home, I'll come pick you up in an hour."
"Let me kiss you for the last time..."
And for the last time ended up having us on the bed kissing and grinding and touching all over. We stop when Nathaniel's dad rings his phone.
***
As anticipated, Nathaniel picks me up about an hour later. The drive to the restaurant is filled with silence, but comfortable one. I look out through the window to see the rain getting heavy.
"I still can't believe it's raining on Christmas!" I groan.
"Well, it's your birthday... what do you expect?"
"Um, maybe snow or something better..." I roll my eyes keeping my eyes outside.
"Well, then I'm sorry."
The restaurant really seems fancy and expensive. I was surprised when I see we have a reservation here, with my name on it too. I guess Leo and Frank really, really, like really wanted me to be here. Walking inside slow and soft Christmas carols ring in my ear forcing a smile from my lips. My eyes widen as I feel Nathaniel take my hand, are we not supposed to be- he is coming out to his dad and Leo! I don't know how I had forgotten about that. I am a bad boyfriend, I should have comforted him or something on the way here.
My guilt deepens when I look at his face, he looks scared and unsure. I tighten my hands on his' and he looks down at me giving me a small smile.
The waiter we are waiting for stretches her had to a beaded entrance. "You can enter in there, have a nice meal."
"Thank you." We both say. Nathaniel doesn't leave my hand but tighten more as his own hand starts to shake. I almost tell him not to yet but he pulls me inside before I could say a word.
Leo and Frank are seated alone in the whole area, I bet they hired this whole side for themselves. How much do they earn by the way? I look around, my soul getting engulfed by the gold eluding lights, the light Christmas decorations and the absence of Christmas carols making the environment more miraculous.
Leo's hand is in Frank's hair as if fixing something. They are all unaware of our presence, being the reason why they both lean to plant a small kiss on each other. Once seated, they both look at our direction to see us standing and staring at them awkwardly.
"Hey." I wave first, breaking the silence that is between us. Frank is the first one to spot our hands in each other, Leo is next but he quickly looks away unlike Frank.
"Hello guys, come sit right here." Leo stands and walks to sit next to Frank.
Nathaniel and I walk to sit next to each other opposite Frank and Leo. Tension surrounds us as non of us say a thing. Our hands are under the table holding and suspended in the air. Nathaniel's hand tighten on mine, as if possible I do the same.
"So..." Leo breaks the ice. "... Merry Christmas... and happy birthday Elia." The remark gets me off guard, I never expected any of them to remember or even know my birthday.
"Thanks Leo... merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas boys, Happy birthday Elia." Frank says and we all reply smoothly.
It doesn't take time for me to process us, Nathaniel will be coming out to his dad and Leo, and I will be the one just seated. It feels weird to be here, I feel as if I am invading these guys time, I feel as if... I shouldn't be here... and I am not wrong.
"How was your Eve?" Frank looks at the table nervously. The table is set for five surprisingly, there are two wine glasses, a water glass, two folks, two table spoons and a smaller on next to two knives. There is a wine bottle in the middle, and thanks to mother nature my incapability to drink makes me oblivious to the brand. 'Christmas eve...' it was the best night of my life, I mean... at first it was the worst being alone, and then Nathaniel happened, then... we did what we did with Nathaniel, so at the end... it was literally the best night of my life.
"Fine." "Okay." Nathaniel and my words clash causing us to look at each other before we both looks away. But I don't miss the look on Nathaniel's face. He looks... scared and worried, if I was him, I would feel the same way, because of how Frank looks now.
Frank keeps looking between Nathaniel and I. He knows something is up. I gulp and look on the table, my mind engulfing the beautiful and expensive set up.
"We had already ordered the food when we set a reservation here, Nathaniel told us you like Italian food, so we got you shrimp scampi with pasta and some others I can't identify." It takes time for me to process the words. At first, I thought he is talking to Nathaniel or Frank, but when he mentions Nathaniel and Italian food I realize Leo is talking to me. My head snaps to look at him, to a genuine sweet smile plastered on his face.
"Thank you, I do like" I say. "It's actually one of my favorite dishes."
"I've never tried Italian... it tastes a bit too much for me." Frank finally talks. I don't know why, but it makes me feel a bit light now. "Tell us, for how long have you been living in Italy?"
"Um, I was born in Italy, I lived there until I was nine when my dad passed away then my mom and I moved here, but I was still at a boarding school in Italy then at eleven that's when I started to learn here, but every holiday I would be in Italy. I stop visiting often when my mom fell sick." Wow, this really does help to talk to them, I really feel as if I can get used to this.
"Oh, but where do you prefer the most?"
"I used to think Italy, but now I guess America is way better." I honestly speak. Leo is about to say something but his mouth snap shut when three waiters come with dishes in their hands. They set the food on the table.
"Anything else?"
"No thank you, nothing for now." Leo looks up at the waiter who flashes a small smile and walks away with the rest following closely behind. I look over at Frank, who immediately looks down at the untouched dishes. He grimaces before his palm pressed his head. He doesn't express the feeling I bet to be pain though, he looks at me again, and smiles uneasily before stretching his hand to get a glass of water.
He looks sick.
Mid-way into the main course, our conversation are less tense now, even Nathaniel is looking way better. I tell Leo and Frank about my childhood, surprisingly I even tell them about my funny moments as a child. They even laugh when I tell them about closing myself into a freezer when I was only eight. I never thought that I would ever share these stories with anyone, not even Nathaniel... I feel as if I have a- family?
We all finish eating, well except of me who of course cannot finish a plate of whatever food I get. The food was delicious by the way, I have never eaten anything as close to that if I have to be honest in a very long time. And I have never had dinner with people not including Nathaniel in about- ten years?
"Time for desert." Frank suddenly seems do excited, sitting up straight wit ha very toothy smile on his face.
Even Leo smiles looking over at me before darting his eyes to Nathaniel whose face turns red. "Should we wait for Xander?" Leo asks.
"Xander? Is he coming?" no one told me he is coming?
"He said he's almost here, umm, but-" Nathaniel places his phone on the table. "-I... I have to tell you some-something."
Not only does my heart beat when he says so, but it shatters and drops to my stomach making me more nervous. I feel Nathaniel's hand reach for mine from under the table. I look at him, panicking. He shouldn't do this... not now. What if they don't accept him... wait... that would be ironic right? His hand squeezes mine, a bit too tight now that I bet I will be getting bruises, but nothing to worry about now. his hand pulls mine, I resist at first tensing up before I finally give in. Our eyes meet in the process, his eyes are a bit teary, with his features all portraying worry. Just as our hands are about to be on the open, he drops mine, still looking at me.
I don't know what I should do now. He is clearly scared. He is coming out not because he wants, but because he did come out last night for me and eventually his parents would know even if he won't tell them. But, I am the cause of all this, I should help him at least by raising his hopes up. I take his hand and raise it in mine to place it on the table.
This seems to make him feel better. He sighs and squeezes my hand. I don't bother looking at Frank and Leo, that's not my worry now, my worry is Nathaniel, the person I dearly love. He is all I care about now and nothing else. All I want to see are his eyes as he stares back to me.
"Elia and I are dating." He says still looking at me. "I'm gay for Elia."
That's all I hear before a glass of water splatters on the floor.
"You're what!?" Frank barks.
Not what I expected.
I'm in class... and the worst thing just happened. I was going through my previous smut chapter and then my teacher saw me and started to read it out loud! i am dead! i wanna die! please anybody kill me now!!!