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Sarah POV
"No, Sarah, don't do it." I tell myself. It's 3 in the morning and I couldn't sleep due to the immense feeling of wanting to cut. Michaels words came back to me from the date.
"Draw a picture. Only focus on that picture."
I run to get my drawing supplies and I quickly start to draw. No clue what; I'm just drawing.
"You could just call me. I'll be over there quickly to help you with whatever you need."
I pick up my phone and quickly call him. A groggy voice picks up after five rings.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Michael, sorry, did I wake you?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't matter. What's up?"
"I wanna cut again."
"I'll be there in five minutes." He says and hangs up.
"Put your blades in a plastic container and freeze it."
I run to do that. When I'm done, Michael is at the door.
"Don't do it, Sarah." He says.
"My blades are in the freezer." I say as I'm drawing. He sits down next to me.
"Good. I can see you're listening to my advice."
"Yeah, it's pretty helpful, too."
"Great. Sarah, I want to tell you something."
"Go ahead."
"I can't stand the sight of you in pain. Any pain; physical, emotional, mental. It hurts me. I want you to get better. Cutting yourself isn't the answer. They're are many other ways."
"Michael, I want to tell you something."
"Go ahead."
"I can't stand being hurt. I want to get better, too. I know that cutting isn't the answer, but at this point, I'm desperate. The thoughts floating around in my head are too much for me to handle. And cutting is only way that I've found that actually works."
"Well, we can change that. We can see if this drawing thing works out."
"Michael, what we really need to do is find something that will permanently get these thoughts out. Drawing and cutting are only temporary."
"That's up to you."
"Huh?"
"You need to tell yourself something. Robert is not coming back and I have my friends to support me at every step of the way. Every day. When you wake up, brush your teeth, eat, shower, scrolling through Twitter, all the time. Anytime you want to cut."
"I think I can do that." I say, still drawing. I can tell it's a person but I'm not sure who it is exactly.
"We can text you that."
"What?"
"The five of us. At random moments of the day we'll text you Robert is not coming back and we are here to support you every step of the way."
"But that means I'll have to tell Ash, Calum, and Luke."
"You tell them when you're ready. Diana and I will only text you that for now."
"Actually, I think I will tell them. Later today."
"Okay."
"Do you think I should?"
"Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Then I think you should." He says.
"Okay. I will."
"Good. I'll be there to help you." He says.
"Thank you."
"No problem."
"You can go back to bed now."
"You sure?"
"Yes. I feel much better now. Thank you."
"Sure. See you in the morning."
"See you then." He kisses the top of my head then leaves. I put in my earbuds and finish my drawing. I look at it before realizing something.
It's Michael.
-
"Thank you all for coming. You know I have something to tell you so here it is." I say at noon. My friends are over at my request. Michael is next to me and he holds my hand for support.
"Uh, I-I cut myself." I say quietly and quickly, but they understand. Thank God, too, because I don't think I could repeat that.
"What? Why?" Luke asks. I break down into tears and Michael hugs me.
"The t-thought that R-Robert will-will come back for r-revenge is c-constantly stuck in m-my mind, and I j-just wanted something t-to take away the thought f-for a little bit. Cutting did that." I explain in between sobs and stuttering.
"Oh, my God, no Sarah. Robert isn't coming back." Ashton says, tears in his eyes.
"How do you know!?" I yell. "What if he's watching us right now?! I can't go through that again! He might actually try to kill me this time! Maybe even you guys! I can't put you through that!" I bury my head in Michaels chest and sob harder.
"Shh, Sarah. It's okay. Remember what I keep telling you? Robert isn't coming back and you have us every step if the way. It's okay. Shh." Michael says as he strokes my hair. I can hear all the others crying as well. I sob until I can't anymore and then I lift my head from Michaels chest.
"I'm sorry I burst at you like that." I apologize.
"No, no, it's fine." Ash says.
"Sarah, Robert isn't coming back. The police have this under control. You're going to be perfectly fine." Luke says.
"Plus, we will be here for you for everything single thing you go through. Every step of the way." Calum says.
"Huh. Would you hear that, Sarah? I think that's only the same exact thing I've been telling you." Michael says.
"Shut the hell up." I say. We laugh and then continue talking.
"Okay, guys. At random moments just text Sarah 'Robert isn't coming back and you have us to help you every step of the way.' Can you do that? Just to get it in her brain." Mike asks.
"Of course." Diana says. The others agree.
"What do you do if you wanna cut?" Luke asks.
"Call Mike and draw a picture." I say.
"And if that doesn't work?"
"My blades are in the freezer. They are frozen. If I want to cut, I have to wait until they melt."
"What?" Luke runs to the kitchen and opens the freezer. "Oh my gosh, you seriously froze your blades."
"Yes, I did."
"Who's idea was that?"
"Mikey's."
"That was smart." Luke says. He puts the blades back in the freezer and comes back in. "What now?"
"I need to run some errands." Ashton says.
"And I have to go find a job." Calum says. They stand up to leave and I get up as well to say goodbye. I hug Calum tightly.
"We're here for you." He whispers.
"Thank you." I move onto Ashton.
"We won't let you fight this alone."
"I appreciate it." They both leave and now it's just Mikey, Diana, Luke, and me.
"I want to show you something." I tell Mikey.
"What?"
"Remember that I was drawing this morning?"
"Yes."
"Well, I had no clue what I was drawing at the moment. But when I finished, guess what the final product was?"
"What?" I show him and he gaps.
"That's me." He says.
"I figured out that it was you when we are on the date from my point of view. That's how I saw you." I explain to him.
"It's so realistic." I just smile as a response. "Why'd you draw me?"
"I don't know. You mean a lot to me. You proved to me that you actually care and people like that are hard to find. You actually want me to get better."
"Thank you."
"No, no. Michael, thank you. I'm trying to get better, thanks to you."
"I'm happy to help. Anytime, anywhere."
"And I appreciate that a whole lot."
"Hey, do you guys wanna go to the movies?" Diana asks.
"Sure." I say. Michael agrees and off we go.
A/N: hi my lovely readers.
RIP Robin Williams.
SOOOOO, I GOT TICKETS TO SEE 5SOS NEXT YEAR IN AUGUST. ITS THE 29TH IN HERSHEY AND I. AM. SO. EXCITED. my best friend, her little sister, and her dad are going and I'm like AHHHHH.
I HOPE YOU GOT TICKETS.
my sister just called me a snot and promised to never attack me with an axe. isn't she lovely?
Hope you enjoyed! See you next update!
Bailey xx