Savior (Michael Clifford)

4.1

4.1

Sarah POV

January 1, 2015

The first day of the year. The day where there's new beginnings. The day where people leave their old selves in the past year, to start a new life with better decisions and people that aren't bad influences.

Or so they say.

About two years ago, I had this boyfriend. He cheated on me at a Christmas party, and then on January 1, he called and promised that since it's a new year, he would become a better person. He said that he was no longer a cocky asshole who only cared about himself and sex. He promised he has changed. This ex-boyfriend of mine wanted to be friends with me again.

I took his offer. My logic was, if he really said he changed, why not give it a shot? Plus, everything that happened, it was behind us now. It's a new year, he deserves a second chance, right?

Right?

No.

Bullshit.

That statement was absolute bullshit. My logic was absolute bullshit.

On January 14, exactly two weeks into the new year, he got me drunk, and banged me - it wasn't rape, since I wanted it, and agreed to it. Then, the following day, he told me I was a slut and a whore, then left me. I've never heard of him since.

That is why I hate New Years.

Like, I'm excited I got through another year, but really, you're still the same you you were yesterday. The same you you were last year. One midnight on a special day won't change that.

To change yourself and become a 'new you', as everyone says, you need to go through something. You need to have a long hard talk with someone or yourself. You need to realize something. You shouldn't just wait until January 1 to claim you've changed. If you honestly want to change, good for you, but it can happen at any other time throughout the year.

And yes, on Christmas Eve I said I wasn't a virgin. And no, he was not the result of that. I had sex before him. And yes, when this happened, I was seventeen. I wasn't legal to drink, but I'm definitely not the only teenager that broke that rule.

I refuse to associate myself with people who actually believe that one tick on a clock can actually make you want to change yourself as a person. It takes time, you can't just become brand new in a second. (Literally.)

People hate change. Changing themselves, at least. People don't actually see that there's anything wrong. They don't realize that they're an alcoholic, or that they have a kid and that kid should be their number one worry, or that they're just rude. It flies my people's heads. And when the famous day of January 1 comes around, they want to say they've changed, even though they don't even know what they need to change.

Sometimes, talking to someone that honestly cares about you and saying 'What is wrong with me?' could start it, without getting offended. Then, and only then, can you start to make yourself better. After that, you can pronounce yourself as changed.

"What? Are you crazy?" Michael asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You can change on New Years."

"Of course you can, if you say to yourself, 'Hey, I really need to get my ass in gear and put my life straight.' around the New Years. But if you don't make an effort to actually do so, and say you've changed, it's stupid. I don't think people should want to change only because the digit on the year has changed." I argue.

"So you seriously hate the whole 'New Year, New Me' stuff?" He asks.

"Yes, if you said 'New Year, And I'm Going To Claim I'm A New Year, But Really I'm Going To Be Better For A Week And Go Back To Myself' it would be more accurate."

"Alright. You seem very opinionated about this."

"Because I am."

"Okay, I won't argue with you."

"Good, because no matter what, you won't change my mind."

"Do I have something to change?" Michael asks me.

"Honestly, no, I don't think so. Why? Do I?"

"No, you're perfect just the way you are. You don't need to change."

A/N: I have no clue what this chapter was.

It's a snow day 🙌

Hey hey, you you, you should read my stories.

Seriously tho.

UPDATE! My cat is laying down on my dads blanket.

Hope you enjoyed! See you next update!

Bailey xx