So i decided to end the trip... sorry if you expected more on the trip. i love you guys. Oh, this isn't a long chapter because i had to cut the scene since the next chapter contains smut. The next chapter is on it's way in less than 24hrs from now so you will have to follow me in order to read the next chapter, if you want to read it.
Elia.
It feels good to be finally home, at the same time, it feels so sad. Yes, this was the worst trip I have ever heard and had. Seems as if the teachers did not prepare any 'extra' stuff for us to do, but anyways, we partied and all. Even the winter festival itself wasn't bad at all, but I expected more.
I am worried about Xander and Sage though. Xander broke up with Sage without giving any reason. Sage broke down and cried the whole day. Even in the plane she had red glossy eyes, and she kept looking towards us as if screaming for release. Xander on the other hand has been acting so different, he doesn't seem to want to talk to me as usual. Even in the plane we exchanged a few words before he decided to shut his eyes. I know the break up wasn't easy, but on the other hand I feel as if it is much more than that.
I drop my phone on my bed, with me following behind. I close my eyes trying to sleep but I just can't. I just can't. Do you know that moment when you feel as if you have a chance with someone then BAM! You ruin it. we kissed, I cried. I could have just... I could have just kept on kissing him and maybe we could have... no, I don't want to think about it.
But honestly, even the night I was high, I kept myself from doing things, but I wanted to. I just didn't because he said he wanted to, process things, and he did... making me more worried now.
Nathaniel told me he likes me the day before yesterday... and I will not lie I am happy and all. He likes me, I mean it is normal for me to giggle like I'm doing right now. But, does that mean something is going to happen to us? And if it does and does not work well... will we at least become friends?
Although I want a lot from Nathaniel, I still want to be with him... for long.
I wake up to Xander's call. I almost curse him for waking me up at ten the night after travelling for hours. But his voice engulfs me with concern.
"Elia?" I sit up straight and press my phone on my eye. I hear him sob.
"Hey, Xander, what's wrong?" he doesn't answer me, he keeps sobbing uncontrollably on the other line. I let him, and he later speaks when he gets his composure.
"I ruined it! i... I fu-fucking ruined i-it all Elia!" What is he talking about? Breaking up with Sage As for me that wasn't the worst thing to do. At least he finally became honest with himself and accepted that he is not straight. I still don't get why he ruined everything.
"No... what did you do Xan..."
"You know no shit okay! I ruined everything. Ga-Garry will never, e-ever..." he starts to sob again.
I feel tears gather in my eyes too, I don't like seeing my friends hurt... it hurts me too. And if it's Xander, it breaks me... he is the only person who accepted me with open arms here.
"Shh, Xander... it's alright."
The line goes silent that I pull my phone to check if he has hung up, but I see the seconds increasing. I put it back on my ear, but still nothing. It is when I am about to pull it off for the last time that I hear the low muffled words leave his mouth.
"garryandihadsex"
HOLY SHIT!
I open the door to reveal a red eyed boy. I step aside and let him in. We walk quietly to my room. I close the door and when i turn, I see Xander sitting on the edge my bed looking at me with his legs irritatingly hitting the floor. I stand by the door and look back at him, avoiding his eyes for some reasons. I find it difficult to even think straight with him in here right now.
"Do you like him?"
"I don't know... Elia..." he stops and places his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He keeps himself like this for a moment before he looks up at me, I look away, failing to face him again. "It j-just happened."
"What happened?"
"I was drunk, but... I came back and you were asleep in our room so I had to sleep in yours. So... I just went and... I couldn't... couldn't help it when he... he came out of the bathroom naked... I just... did... did it... I kissed him... at first he pushed me away... but... we finally did it... then we had sex..." he stops.
I uncomfortably lean on the door, not liking the topic. I open my mouth and let the words slip out. "Did you like it?"
"...why are you asking me all this!" he snaps making me jump. "Xander, I want to know okay! I just wanna help you."
"Then yes I did... it was great oaky!? But you wanna know what? He was drunk... and now he is mad with me because he claims I took advantage of him." He sobs. "He is my friend... a-and i-it hu-hurts to..." he says no more but falls into a fit of sobs. I walk up to him and hesitantly hugs him. He hugs me back and keep on sobbing.
This must really be shitty for him, he had sex with his straight friend, but never realized he was drunk. I sooth him slowly but that doesn't do anything than to make him cry more. "Xander... don't cry." My voice surprises me by cracking midway. I slide my fingers into his hair, and smoothly play with it. it seems to calm him a lot. He calms into my hand and I keep my other hand around him.
After some minutes like this he pulls off and keeps his face close to me. I resist the urge to do anything crazy so I scoot away and smile at him.
"You're hiding something from me... I know you and Nathaniel kissed." My eyes glob out as panic hits me. I know I am not supposed to panic, it's only Xander, but that doesn't clam me.
"H-How do you kno-know?"
"It was obvious... both your hairs were ruined, you had bulges and swollen lips... even a three year old can see that." I blush and look away. I can't hide anything from him now can I? I debate on either I should tell him that he said he likes me too, but I think Nathaniel has a say in this, so I bite my lip to hold the words inside. But something clicks in my head.
"Do you still like me?" Xander chuckles, but I don't miss the way the blush makes his way to his neck. He shrugs. "I figured you're not my type." I gasp slapping his hand. I know it's something I should heave a sigh for but I don't, it makes me feel less about myself.
"Hey, dude... I mean... I think I would want a top... like I really liked bottoming... and I don't think it will work with two bottoms."
"Xander! Who fucking told you I am a bottom!?" Like really! Why do I turn to be super confident when it hs to be anything about sex? Like really why?
"There is no way I will be a bottom and you be a bottom!"
"Oh no bitch you have no idea!"
"I do! You are bottom! And you know that yourself!" he laughs, "Especially if you're gonna do it with Nate." He wiggles his eyebrows. I bring my palms to my face and cover it groaning. Xaner pulls my hands off and looks at me with a grin on is face. "Admit it!"
"Okay, fine... but I also think I am versatile..."
"Oh, well you will have to find out."
Wednesday, I am hating everything right now. This is my time sitting with Nathaniel and his friends on their lunch table, Garry and Sage are the only two missing, and I know why. All eyes are on me as I eat and I feel as if I will choke anytime and die. I take a bite of my pizza and pretend to find something interesting on it as I chew it.
"So... how is everybody?" Nathaniel starts a conversation and somehow everyone gets interested diverting it to something sex related. I smile at my empty plate now, happy that Nathaniel noticed how uncomfortable I was getting. I take a sip of my water and relaxed on the chair.
"...Italian boys are hot, they also have great parties." Some girl I don't know her name blushes before she flips her hair.
"No, I think we American boys are hottest, we are buff and all..." Jake smirks.
"Hell no! you boys don't even have big dicks at all... ask Sage- wait or him." The girl points at me and I turn tomato red. Is that something to ask someone like me!?
"I... i- I don-don't know." I simply say and look back at my plate. I knew it was going to be awkward sitting with these guys.
"...but really, if he was getting dick he would have known, there is this guy in Italy, her dick barely went way down into me... he was huge!!!" she says way to loud.
"Natalie, too much detail..." Xander complains from across the table. Some people agree.
I take another sip of my water and swallow it. I look at my right to see Nathaniel silently play with a fry in his hand. He really must like fries. His head is hung low staring at his plate, he has a small smile playing on is lips. I get mesmerized looking at his face. I keep my eyes on him until an idea pops in my head.
I slide my hand under the table and carefully place it on his thigh, just above his knee, because I didn't want to 'take things far and fast'.
I feel his leg tense under my touch and his eyes fly to look at me locking our eyes.
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