Special shoutout to FallOutGirl948 for just being awesome and also inspiring me to update early.
You don't have to listen to the song above. It goes really well in my opinion with this chapter. I love the Backstreet Boys and found this song and figured it was perfect for this chapter.
I wake up with Alice still in my arms. Wait isn't she supposed to wake up early because of her job? She starts to stir. She smiles when she wakes up. "Hi Jonathan" she says. "Hi Alice" I say.
"Shouldn't you have gotten up much earlier than me this morning" I ask. She looks like she just realized something. "Yes. Oh my gosh I'm sorry. Breakfast may be a little late" she says. "It's okay Alice. I think I will just be eating in here this morning. You can stay in here and eat with me if you want to" I suggest. "Are you sure? What about Clary" she asks. "Clary....she left. I know she is safe but she is gone. She said hopefully it's not forever just for now" I tell her. We both sit up on the bed. "Do you know why she left" Alice asks. "No I asked but she just said she has to get Grace and leave for a while. She never said why" I tell her. "Oh, Well I have to go get you some breakfast. I'll see you later" she says. She walks out closing the door behind her.
I change my clothes and get ready for the day. A fire message appears on my bed. I pick it up and see it's from Clary. It says,
'Jonathan
I don't know if you'd really want to know why I left but I will tell you. But you have to promise me you won't go all big brother and kill the person when I tell you. Promise me. If you promise turn the letter over.'
I turn the paper over and keep reading.
'Okay so the reason why I left yesterday was because of jace. He told me he wasn't okay and I was the reason. He said whatever happened was because of me. He told me he regretted marrying me. He said that if Grace was never born none of this would have happened, whatever that means. And then he told me to get out. So I decided if he doesn't want me or Grace and he regrets us we would leave. Please don't bring this up to him. You can't tell anyone this. Please Jonathan. I don't want to think about what could happen to him and his 'perfect' reputation. Word can't get out about this. When I think it's safe I will reach out to you and meet up again. I do still love him even though he may not feel the same about me.
Oh I almost forgot, autumn is at the barn at the Herondale manor house. Can you take some food or something for her so she doesn't starve. I know you don't know where that is but it's one of the last ones where the manor houses are. It's a long way from the city.
Anyway please keep this a secret. I love you Jonathan. Grace does too.
-love, Clary'
This makes me mad. I hate what he said to her. I will keep my promise though. I won't tell jace what she told me he said to her. He may not even remember what he said to her. I feel bad for her. She didn't deserve this. She has been through heartbreak and something like this already and she needed someone who could really on love her and take care of her. I hope wherever she is she gets what she needs.
I hear a knock on the door. I hide the note in one of my dresser drawers.
I open it expecting to see Alice. Instead it's jace. I internally roll my eyes. "Jace" I ask. I have no idea why he has come to me. "Jonathan I can't find Clary" he says sounding worried. "I know. She left yesterday" I tell him.
"Did she say where she was going" he asks. "No she didn't. She just said she needed to leave. She took Grace with her. She said it had something to do with you" I say. "Me" he asks surprised. So he doesn't remember what he said.
"Yeah she said you lashed out on her" I tell him. He just stands there looking confused. "Jace we have both been trying to help you but you push us away. You don't think. You're on edge, your erratic, except for when your hunting, 'cause then your downright scary. Your tails spinning man. You refuse to talk about it and you won't let me help you. We both have tried to help and now she is gone" I tell him. It's his fault my sister is gone. "What exactly did I say to Clary" he asks. He looks defeated. "I don't know" I lie. "I've got to find her" he says and walks off.
Alice comes in a few minutes later with food. "Everyone was wondering where I was this morning" she says. "Oh yeah? What did you tell 'em" I ask. "I just said I accidentally slept in. I mean it's not a complete lie I did accidentally sleep in I just wasn't down there in my room. I was in here with you" she tells me. "True" I say.
We both start eating. "Have you heard from clary" she asks me. "Yeah she told me why she left. She told me not to tell anyone why" I tell her. "Oh I understand. Is she safe" she asks. "I think so. She hasn't said otherwise" I tell her. "That's good" she says.
We both finish eating breakfast. "We should do this more when we can" I say. "I'd like that" she says.
When we both finish eating She takes the plate and leaves the room.
Jace POV
I go upstairs to our room. "Clary" I call. I don't know if I was expecting to hear a response or what but anything would be better than nothing. I don't hear anything just complete silence. I know Jonathan said she left but I don't want to believe it.
I see her sketchbook on the nightstand. I go over to it and sit on her side of the bed. I grab it and open it up. I flip through the pages. The most recent ones are sad. It's someone all alone. All alone in the woods, beach, different places. I flip the page. It's a person looking out the window when it's raining. This is just sad. My always happy little Clary is sad and lonely and I am just noticing this now. Its worse too, by her wanting to leave and it's probably all my fault. I close the book and set it back on the nightstand.
I go into the closet. I don't see her in here. I see a small glint on her dresser. I go over to it. My heart stops. Her wedding ring and angelic rune necklace is laid out. She never takes these things off. This must be worse than I thought. I don't even know what I did. I love her and I need her. I have to find her and try and get her back. If she will forgive me for whatever I did. I notice all her clothes and things are still here. For the most part except for some which she mush have taken with her to wherever she is.
I leave the bedroom and go downstairs to Jonathan's room. "Hey, I'm heading out to find Clary. Can you hold the fort down until I get back" I ask "Yeah sure" he says. "Thanks" I say.
I quickly go down to the barn and get trapper ready.
When he is all ready I get on and ride as fast as I can to the Herondale manor house and hope she is there. She could be.
When I get to the house I get off trapper and put him in the barn. I see autumn in here. I have some hope she is here since autumn is here.
I put him in a stall and quickly run into the house. "Clary" I call. No answer. "Clary" I call again. I still don't get any answer. She must not be here. I look around the house just in case. She's not here. I might have one more place I know of where she might be to check.
I go outside to the barn. I find some extra horse food that was left here just in case we ever come back to the house. I feed autumn since I know she probably was left here probably overnight.
I'm such a terrible person for not noticing Clary was gone until today.
I get trapper out of the barn. I ride him over to Alec's house. I know Magnus is most likely there with him.
When I get to Alec's house I get off trapper and knock on the door. Alec opens it. "Hey Jace. If you're looking for Izzy she's not here" he says. "I'm not looking for Izzy. I know she went to London with Simon. I'm looking for Magnus" I tell him. "Come on in" he says.
I come in the house and he closes the door behind me. "Magnus" he yells. "Alexander" I hear Magnus yell back from the other room. He comes over to us though. "Magnus I need you to do something. Can you do it" I ask. "Depends. What do you need me to do" he says. "I need you to make a portal" I say. "I can do that. Where do you want to go" he asks. "New York" I tell him.
Clary POV
I finish making Graces bottle for her lunch. "Cookie can you bring Grace in here please" I ask. I shake up the bottle when I hear Grace squeal. Cookie walks over with Grace. "Thank you cookie" I tell her. I take Grace from her. I toss her a piece of cheese. I noticed she likes cheese this morning when I was adding cheese to my biscuit. I feed Grace her bottle. "Hey clary. I have to go run some errands are you going to stay here" she asks. "Yeah. I've got to put Grace down for her nap when she finishes her bottle" I tell mom. "Okay. Well help yourself to anything here" she says. "Thanks mom" I say. She goes into the garage to go run her errands.
Grace finishes her bottle soon after mom leaves. I burp her. "Come on little girl, lets get you down for your nap" I say. I see a fire message appear on the kitchen counter. I take Grace upstairs and set her down in her small bed. I turn out the lights and close the door behind me.
I go back downstairs and look at the note. It says To: Clary Herondale. I pick it up and open it. It says,
Dear Clary,
I hate that he said those things to you. I knew he was being a complete jerk to you but I never would have thought he would say those things to you. I'm so sorry Clare. I miss you little red. It's been quiet here without you and Grace.
Jace came to me asking if I knew where you were. I told him you left. I told him I didn't know where you went. He left for a little while and came back. When he came back he told me he was heading out to find you. I'm just warning you in case he finds you. So heads up that he's looking for you. I love you Clary. Stay safe and keep my cute little niece safe.
- Jonathan
I'm glad for the heads up. I don't know why Jace is looking for me if he regrets me. He should just give that ring and necklace to some girl he really wants. I rub my thumb lightly over my bare left ring finger. I wish it would just go back to the way it was where jace loved me and talked to me. But I know that's too good to be true.
I make myself some easy Mac and cheese. I take a few bites of it. I hear a knock on the front door. I freeze with my spoon halfway to my mouth.
Is it him? Please Raziel, don't let it be him. I don't want any more heartbreak.
I go into mom and Luke's room. I know I probably shouldn't be in here but whatever.
I look through the window to see who it is. It's him.
I go to the front door and open it. "Clary" he says. "Stop. Just leave me alone. You made it pretty clear you don't want me or anything to do with me or Grace. I don't want any more heartbreak than what I've already had. Give the ring and necklace to someone you really want and wouldn't regret marrying" I tell him. I try and close the door but he stops it with his foot.
"What are you taking about Clary" he asks. "Oh you don't remember?" I ask sarcastically. He just looks at me. "Well let me jog your memory. Your exact words were and I quote 'No clary. no I'm not okay. I have to deal with this. If I had never married you and that baby had never been born none of this would have ever happened. It was the worst decision I have ever made in my life marrying you. Get out'" I tell him. A look of realization comes to his face.
"Oh i'm such an idiot" he mumbles. Yeah you are. "Look Clary you probably won't believe me but I don't regret you or Grace. You two are the best things in my life right now. I got worried when I woke up and you weren't in the bed beside me. You always are. I Love you two" he tells me.
"Please just stop, I know you don't mean that. I don't want to go back to the way it has been the past month" I tell him. "What" he asks looking confused. "The past month you have been ignoring and neglecting me and Grace. Even when she just wanted you to hold her you wouldn't and she would cry for a long time. I am lucky I have Jonathan. He has been helping me take care of Grace and stayed with me while you have been acting like a complete jerk" I tell Jace.
"Clary I'm so sorry. When I told you those things it was the stress talking. I have just been so busy. Something really bad is happening and i'm not sure you want to know whats happening" he tells me.
"Come in" I tell him and he does. I go into the kitchen and grab my lunch I had made on the counter. "I want to know whats been happening that you have been neglecting me and Grace so badly" I tell him. I start eating my lunch.
"You are not going to like it but I will tell you anyway. The seelie queen wants Grace. She has been sending me messages. I have been trying to trade something instead of Grace. I have also been trying to change her mind about wanting Grace. She won't do it, she is determined on getting Grace" He tells me. I hate this. "She is not going to touch Grace" I say through my clenched teeth. "I know. I don't want her to either" he tells me. "I don't know how Grace is going to react to knowing you are here" I tell him. "What do you mean" he asks. "Well I'm sure she won't be too happy with you for a while since you have been neglecting her as well" I tell him. He looks sad. I eat my mac and cheese.
I hear a small noise come from Grace and a whine come from cookie. "I will be right back" I tell Jace. I throw away my now empty mac and cheese bowl and go on upstairs. I open the door to see Grace still in her small bed. Cookie is looking in and Grace is pulling on her nose. "Come on baby girl. Lets stop pulling on cookies nose" I say while I pick her up. She lets go of cookie. I notice she is stinky. I set her on my bed and change her diaper. I put a new one on her and pick her back up.
I leave the room and I hear cookie come down after me. She stops at the entrance to the kitchen she she sees Jace at one of the barstools. "Cookie move" I say and squeeze past her.
She is glaring at him I see when I get past her and look back at her. I didn't know dogs could glare but apparently cookie knows how. "Man, even cookie hates you. You're in a tough boat" I tell him. "Do you forgive me clary" he asks. "I don't know Jace. I mean I want to but its just really hard for me right now. You're going to have to work for it first before I do. I want to know you really don't regret us because the way you have been treating the two of us I have to see that you are not just saying you really love us just to be saying it" I tell him.
I know it may sound a little harsh but I need to know if he really loves me or not. If he is just saying it he needs to leave. He looks sad. Grace looks over and sees him. She buries her small head in my hair. In the spot in between where my neck and shoulder meets. Poor little girl. She doesn't want to get hurt anymore either. Jace looks even more sad. He looks like a piece of his heart just broke. "I won't let anyone hurt her ever I promise" he tells me but it kind of sounds like he is telling himself too. "Thats a tough promise to keep" I say.
"Will you come back home to the castle with me" he asks me. I think about it for a minute.
Should I? I mean he has to prove he really loves me some how. If I don't ever see it and something happens again I can always come back here.
"Yeah I guess. I just need to tell mom and Luke I'm leaving though" I tell him. He nods. Grace moves and looks at me. "It's okay baby girl. Your daddy's not going to hurt you" I tell her. She looks at him. Then she clutches my shirt in her tiny hand. "I'm not leaving you Grace. I never will baby" I say. She looks at me.
I hear mom pull in the garage. "Moms here" I tell Jace.
Mom walks in a few minutes later. Her hands full with grocery bags. "Oh good. Jace can you help me get the groceries. I would ask you Clary but your hands are full" she says seeing me with Grace. She goes back in the garage to the car. Jace goes and helps her. "Cookie please go help mom and Jace. Be careful with some of the food" I ask the dog. She goes out wagging her tail. She comes back inside with a bag in her mouth holding it by the handles. I take it and set it on the counter. She goes back out. Mom and Jace come in carrying bags of groceries. "I just saw the weirdest thing. Cookie came out gently grabbed a bag and walked inside with it" mom says. "She did. I asked her to help so she did" I tell her.
The two of them go back out and cookie comes back in with two bags. "Thank you Cookie" I thank her. She goes back outside and helps bring in the groceries.
When it's all brought in they all come back inside. "Mom I'm going to go back to the castle with jace in a little bit" I tell her. "Alright but I now expect Graces announcement to be soon" she tells me. "Okay Okay. But we were planning on doing it in June so that she's at least 5 months old and a little older. Is that okay with you" I say. "I guess so. But won't it be hot in June" she asks. "It shouldn't be too hot since it doesn't get really hot until July but it will still be warm over there" I say. "I bet it's nice. How's your brother" mom asks me. "He's been good. He is still training Alice and we got a new recruit for being a servant so he is training him since all the servants and people who work there know how to fight or defend themselves in some way" I tell her. "Is he still dating Alice" she asks. "Yeah. She has been busy but they still date and he still trains her" Jace says. "You've been awfully quiet jace" mom says. "Yeah I guess so" he says.
"You ready to go Clary" jace asks me. "Yeah let me go get my stuff" I tell him. "Do you want to hold Grace while I get my stuff together" I ask him. "Yeah sure" he says liking this idea. Grace grabs on to my shirt and buries her face in my hair. He looks sad now. "Baby it's okay. Here I will just take you upstairs with me" I tell Grace.
I walk upstairs and set her down in her bed. I pack the clothes from yesterday back in my bag. I put Graces stuff in her bag. I zip the bag up and go to the corner of the room. I grab heosphoros and strap it around my waist. I text Luke letting him know I'm going back home to the castle and that if something happens I will be back.
"Lets go back home little love" I tell Grace as I pick her up. I put my bag around one of my shoulders. I slip on some flip flops. True it's a little chilly outside but it won't be when I get back home. I go down the stairs. I see cookie and jace waiting by the back door. "Thanks for letting me stay the night mom" I thank her. "Of course Clary. You are always welcome here" she tells me. "Thanks" I tell her. She takes Grace while I draw a portal then I take her back. "Bye mom" I tell her. Jace and cookie go on through. "Bye Clary" She says. I walk on through.
I end up at the Herondale manor house. I see jace and cookie waiting on me. "Can you drop me off at the lightwoods house" he asks me. "Yeah sure why" I ask. "I left trigger there. I needed Magnus to open the portal" he tells me. "Yeah I can take you there. We have to walk through since I don't think it's a good idea riding real fast with Grace" I tell him. "I could just fly there" he tells me. "No, you can't. You know you can't. We can't risk having people see your wings" I remind him. "What if I just fold them when I get above their house and fall" he suggests. "No, because people will start to wonder why they saw you falling a hundred feet out of the sky. Look, if you don't want a ride just say so" I tell him. "Okay I will go with you. It will take too long to walk" he says. I roll my eyes. He tacks autumn back up since my hands are full with Grace and I'm sure she is not going to him. I use a step stool to get on because once again I do not think she is going to let jace hold her. He walks us out of the barn and gets on behind me.
We walk off from the manor house with cookie following us. I drop jace off at Alec and magnus' house. I don't know when Isabelle and Simon will get back from London. I leave after I drop Jace off and head back to the castle.
Again people keep trying to catch a glimpse of Grace. Maybe we will have to have her announcement sooner rather than later. Of course we would have to double the guards that day because that might make the seelie queen think she can take Grace that day. That can't happen.
The guards open the gate. I see the front doors of the castle open and Jonathan stands waiting for me. I get off of autumn. Someone comes and takes her to the barn and I go to Jonathan. "I thought you'd be gone longer" he tells me. "I was planning on it. But I came back. Jace will be here in a few minutes. He had to go get trapper. I'm not just coming back forgivingly. There's a price. I'm making him have to earn it. I mean even Grace is mad at him. She won't let him hold her" I tell my brother. "Wow. I didn't know it was possible for babies to be like that" he says. "Me neither" I admit. I hear footsteps come behind me. I see someone carry my bag past me and down the hallway.
I see Jace come up the stairs. "I'll be at dinner later Jonathan" I tell him.
I walk off with jace. "I think we should have Graces announcement and party soon" I tell him. "Okay but why" he asks. "Because, two reasons. One, it could be a distraction from and for the seelie queen. Two, when I was riding through the city both times to get to the manor house and leaving their people were trying to see her" I tell him. "Maybe. I like that idea" he tells me. "Me too" I say.
"You left your sketchbook here" he tells me. "Oh I didn't know that. I must have forgotten to pack it when I was packing to leave" I tell him. "I looked through it" he says. "Oh" I say. "I didn't know you were feeling like that" he says. He wasn't supposed to see it. "Oh... yeah" I admit. I don't look at him. "Why didn't you tell me" he asks. "You wouldn't have cared" I admit. "Of course I care" he says. "Well now you care since now you know what I've been feeling" I say. He doesn't say anything. I look up at him.
"You know about the vampires yesterday" I ask. He nods not looking at me. "Then you know I almost died yesterday. If it wasn't for my brother and the guards being there I would have been killed" I tell him. He doesn't say anything. "I was hoping that that would bring you out of that office but it didn't" I say. "I'm sorry" he says quietly. I nod but don't look at him.
"I've never been happier that you have a brother right now" he says. "Why" I ask. "Because it was your brother who stayed with you when I was being a complete jerk. It was him who helped you with Grace when I wasn't there. It was him who made sure those vampires didn't kill you" jace says. "Yeah" I say.
Grant comes up to us. "Sorry but I really need to tell you something Clary" he says. "What" I ask. "So do you by any chance know what a demon is" he asks. "Did you not read the codex I gave you" I ask. "Some of it" he admits. "Yes I know what a demon is" I tell him. "I think a demon has my mom" he says. I exchange a look with jace. "What do you mean" I ask. "Before I came to try and find you in February, some weird looking creature came and took my mom. I think it said its name saw asco something" he says. "Ascuiago" jace asks. "Yeah" grant says. "Okay we will get your mom back" I reassure him. "Really? Are you sure you know how" grant asks. "It's not that hard to call up a demon. The hard part would be getting her back. Demons don't usually just give people back willingly" I explain. "Oh. I want to be there when you do it" he says. "Okay but it won't just be us there. We will need Magnus" jace says. "Who" Grant asks. "You will see. How about we do it tomorrow after breakfast" I suggest. "My breakfast or yours" he asks. Oh yeah I forgot the servants eat after us. "Just let one of us know when you finish your breakfast" jace tells him. "Okay thanks guys" grant thanks. "No problem" I say. He walks off happy.
Ascuiago has been causing many problems since we became king and queen of Idris. He never has taken a human hostage as long as we have been doing this though.
"It's dinner time you ready to go" jace asks me. "Yeah I'm getting hungry" I answer.
We walk together through to the dining room. "So what do you think Jonathan did yesterday after I left" I ask. "You left yesterday instead of this morning" he asks. "Yes. I came to see you right after lunch and you got mad and I packed a bag and left after that with Grace and cookie" I remind him. He doesn't say anything. I know he hates when I tell him about what he did yesterday. He hates knowing what he did to me. "I don't know what he did yesterday after you left. You'd have to ask him" he says.
We get to the dining room and sit down. Jonathan gets here a few minutes later. People bring the food to us. I feed Grace first. "Jonathan what did you do yesterday after I left" I ask. "I didn't do much. Of course if I had known why you really left I would have murdered jace. Even if he knew what he did or not. I just sat around with bear. It was really quiet without you and Grace. This morning I just had breakfast in my room and right after is when I got your message" he tells me. "Did you hang out with Alice at all" I ask. " I did. She actually came to me last night and told me she couldn't sleep. She slept in my room with me and then this morning she went back to doing her regular work" he tells me. "Did you and her... ya know" I ask. "What?! no" he says. "Okay" I tell him. I honestly do not know what he would do if she let him. Alice is a beautiful girl.
A fire message appears on the table. Jace picks it up, unfolds it, and reads it. "It's Maryse" he says. "What about her" I ask. "She wants to have a lightwood family dinner at Alec and Isabelle's house" he says. "Oh, why" I ask. He shrugs and says "Alec sent this saying she just wants to have one. Saying that in her message she said it was too long since she visited idris and wants to see us." "Umm okay. When" I ask. "Alec says she is coming tomorrow so probably then" he informs me. "Wow okay. Is Izzy going to be back then though" I ask. He shrugs again.
We all finish eating. One of the guards comes in. "There is a portal opening" he tells us. We get up and go outside to where the portal is slowly opening.
A few minutes later two people step out. Its Izzy and Simon. "Hey guys" izzy says. "Hey izzy. How was London" I ask. "It was good. Simon has a new last name" she informs us. "What is it" jace asks. "I've decided on the name Simon Lovelace after George. I want to keep the Lovelace name going for him. He deserves it" Simon says. "I like it" I say. "Is there any food in there? I'm starving" Isabelle says. I roll my eyes. Of course she brings up food. "Yeah come on in. I'm sure theres still some food you can find" I tell them. We all come inside.
They ask to spend the night since its already getting late and dark. We tell them they can. They go off around the castle together and the rest of us go our own way. "Well I need to get little miss Grace in her bed" I tell jace and jonathan. Cookie rushes over to me and we walk to the nursery.
I change Graces clothes and give her a bath. She still doesn't like baths but she needs a bath. When I am done I put some clean pajamas on her that she likes and set her in her crib. Cookie goes and lays down on her pile of blankets. I look at the clock in her room. I says it is now 8:45. I turn out the lights and leave her room.
I go upstairs to my bedroom. I grab my sketchbook and start drawing for a little bit just because I am bored.
•••
The doors open and Jace walks in. "Hey. What are you still doing up" he asks. "What are you talking about" I ask. "Clary its 11 o'clock" he tells me. Wow I guess I had just lost track of time and kept drawing. "Oh I guess I just lost track of time and kept drawing" I tell him. I close the book and set my sketchbook down beside me and go into the closet. I change into my snoopy pajamas. I go into the bathroom and start brushing through my hair.
"Clary what were you thinking, when you know, I was being terrible to you" jace asks me. "I honestly didn't know what to think. I never knew what was happening and you would just push me away every time I would come into the office. I didn't know what was going on. For all I know you could have been having an affair with another girl and I still would have been left in the dark" I tell him. "But you know I would never do that. I love you and only you" he tells me. "I really wasn't sure. I'm still not" I admit. "Clary I promise I will make it up to you. I really do love you more than anything" He tells me. I nod. "I would never see you. You would leave before I woke up in the morning and never come to meals or anything we used to do during the day together. You wouldn't come to bed until after I was already fast asleep. The only way I knew you would actually come to bed is your side would be pulled back when I woke up in the morning. I never saw you so I never knew what to think" I tell him. "I'm sorry clary" he apologizes. "You even forgot when Grace was turning two months old. I know its not that big a deal but still I mean you forgot" I tell him.
I get in the bed and he does too. I turn out the witchlight lamp in the room. I lay down and curl up. I feel jace slide me to him. He wraps his arms around me. He wraps his wings around me too. This is the first time he has showed any sort of affection or noticed me since He started acting weird. I relax and fall asleep.
So what do you think?
Now that you know the real reason Jace was acting weird is it s good enough reason to be acting the way he was?
Would you go back with him if you were Clary?
How do you think he should make it up to her? Seriously I haven't made that chapter. If you want that to be a chapter I need ideas.
Don't forget to vote and comment.