Chapter 71
"I got invited to caddy for Rory McIlroy at a championship celebrity golf thing tomorrow in Georgia, but I don't think I'll be able to get there," Niall said earlier the next morning, holding Owen as he fidgeted.
Niall looked disappointed, but his eyes were still sparkling as he looked at Owen.
"Something like that doesn't come around everyday," I said, sitting up further in my bed, smiling slightly.
Niall was quiet, playing with Owen's tiny hands.
"If you want to go, you should go," I said. Niall gushed about Rory McIlroy all the time, even though I never understood that much about golf. He was truly one of Niall's idols, and I knew how much he had been looking forward to caddying for him.
"I can't just leave my one day old son and my girlfriend who just gave birth," Niall said, like I was crazy.
"We'll be right in New York waiting for you when you're done," I added. "We're all going home in a few hours and you're taking a different plane home anyway."
I took a deep breath. The words felt wrong coming out of my mouth, but I was being honest.
"I really want you to do this."
I watched Niall's eyes squint as he processed what I was saying, trying to make a decision. His lips were pursed, and he looked as adorable as Owen.
"Think about someday when you can tell Owen that you caddied for the best golfer in the world three days after he was born," I said.
Niall's hard-thinking lip-bite lifted into a smile.
The kind of smile that he always tries to conceal by biting his fingernail.
"I guess I should tell him that I'll see him tonight," Niall confessed. I laughed from my happiness. "I'll try to get some rest on the plane, but I'm a tad sleep deprived." Niall gave off a small laugh too.
There were slight bags under his eyes, and probably the same was with me. I could care less.
"Do you think I can tell him?" Niall asked, switching positions with holding Owen. Owen made little noises every so often and they were so cute. "That I can tell Rory about Owen and you and the best day of my life."
I shrugged. "As long as you trust him," I said. "We made it this far." I laughed again. Everything was funny now.
Niall nodded his head and looked at Owen with loving eyes.
Later that morning, Niall and my mom went back to the hotel and packed everything up so we were all ready to go home. I didn't trust that Niall would be able to find everything in our mess of a hotel room, so my mom could help.
I couldn't even remember how we left our room the day that I went into labor and rushed around, waiting to get to the hospital.
It was probably a mess. It was usually a mess.
With Niall, it was always a mess.
I couldn't remember how long I had been in the hospital for. It had all been a blur and my sleeping schedule had been so off that I had no sense of time.
It was just me and the little guy sleeping next to me.
I couldn't get over how cute he was, and the fact that I made him.
He's only been on this earth for a few days. He's never had his heart broken, never felt alone, never felt pain.
He was just sleeping.
Nothing to worry about, nothing to bother him.
Owen represented everything innocent.
By the time that Niall and my mom came back to pick us up and bring us to the airport, I was all set to be discharged.
I changed Owen into his going home outfit- a onsie that said "crazy mofos" on it, just like the one that Niall had. I had one as well, and Niall promised he would wear his so we would all be matching.
I almost laughed at myself and all the effort we were putting into our "going home" outfits. We were just going home, right?
It felt good to get up and walk around again. I had been in bed for days recovering, but now I could walk slowly.
Niall and my mom returned as I was just finishing feeding Owen, and Niall kept his promise of wearing his Crazy Mofos shirt. I smiled as he walked through the door.
"You two look great," Niall said when he walked in.
Other than my T-Shirt, I was wearing a pair of sweatpants and my hair was a mess. Just because I had my baby didn't mean that my body went back to normal right away. It would take a while for my stomach to shrink back down, and right now it was just hanging out.
I laughed, but he came over for a kiss.
My mom asked if she could take a picture of us, and Niall handed her the camera.
Niall and I stood against a wall and I held Owen so all of our shirts could be seen. Niall had his arm around me and we were all smiling like our lives depended on it.
We wouldn't be going home together, exactly. Niall was going to Augusta to golf, and even if we wanted to it would be too obvious, so he would be taking a private plane and I would be with my mom on a regular plane.
My doctor had to stay a few extra days to finalize paperwork and organize everything, but she would be back in town soon enough for any other appointments I would need to attend.
Niall bought out the entire first-class section so Owen could scream and eat all he wanted and we wouldn't disturb other passengers.
The flight was nearly fourteen hours, and wasn't exactly relaxing. I don't think anything will ever be relaxing again as long as I live.
Even just arriving in New York, everything felt so different. Getting off the plane with a baby on my hip made me feel different.
I had to put on a sweatshirt over my shirt to hide the fact that it said "crazy mofos", and even though it was April, it was still pretty chilly.
"This is your home," I whispered to Owen when we got dropped off at the apartment building. It's not like he would understand me even if he wasn't sleeping.
I didn't have the stroller with me, only the carrier, and it was starting to hurt my arm. My mom helped me bring in over a month's worth of my luggage as well as her own, and then we went up to my apartment.
As much as I loved traveling and seeing the world, it felt so good to be home after everything that had happened. Having a drawer full of diapers, a closet full of clothes, a room full of toys, and everything I needed right in front of me made me feel so much more secure.
I fished my key out of my bag and twisted the door handle.
My apartment looked exactly the same as I left it before.
I took a deep breath, and looked across the room at the giant window overlooking Central Park. The same window I sat by when Niall and I had an argument. The same window I stood by with all my friends and family at Owen's baby shower. The same window I looked out of when snow covered all the trees, and now were in full bloom.
Those memories put in perspective just how long I had not only lived here, but how my life has changed, in the best way.
My mom helped me unpack while I fed Owen from my couch, instead of a shaky airplane.
"Do you mind if I talk to Rob tomorrow?" I said as my mom was just about to leave to go back to her apartment. "I want to get some rest, but I want to see him as soon as possible."
I think my mom was taken aback by my request because she froze with her hand on the door handle.
"Um, sure," she said, getting her thoughts together. "We can come by when he gets back from work tomorrow."
I smiled. "That would be great."
My mom came over to give me and Owen a kiss before she left.
"Thanks for everything you've done for me," I said in a peaceful tone of voice.
"It was my pleasure, I wanted to see my grandson and every-"
"Not just that," I interrupted. "Everything you've ever done for me. I know it hasn't been easy, but here I am. And I couldn't be more thankful."
My mom smiled down at me from the couch, and there was a genuine look in her eyes.
"I haven't been the most supportive of you moving on, but I think it's time," I added. "And I need to move on to. It's the beginning of a whole new life for our family."
My mom rubbed my shoulders and then turned to leave.
"Love you," she said before she left. "I'll be back tomorrow."
The door slam shut behind her, and it was just Owen and I again.
Not only was I exhausted, but I was also jet-lagged. Owen couldn't tell the difference between day and night, and I couldn't either.
I tried to catch small naps in between feedings, but I knew I would never be able to get my body back on a sleeping schedule if I didn't give myself a solid sleeping time.
I walked over to Owen's room to put Owen down for a nap, and I noticed it was just as I left it. His room smelt of fresh diapers and baby powder, so fresh. I loved that smell. The sailboats and decorations on the wall were straight and had been empty for so long.
"Ready for your first nap in your own crib?" I said to Owen as I lay him down. He squirmed in his crib until he got comfortable, and I watched with loving eyes. He would only be this little for so long, time flies.
"I hope you like your room," I said again. I set up the baby monitor and made sure it was working, and then once he was sleeping, I went out back to the main room to turn the other monitor on.
I noticed that my mom set up the keyboard that Niall got me for my birthday that must have been with my luggage. I put Owen down for a nap and eagerly began to play.
Niall had told me that they were going to start the writing process for album five once they were on break, so I decided to see if I could try out any chords or melodies for when we hit the studio.
About forty minutes later, I heard Owen crying, and it was back to feeding time. This kid had only been alive for a few days, and he had already had more meals than I've had this week. There would be many more.
As I sat down on the couch, I turned on the TV to the Masters Golf Tournament to see if I could spot Niall. I sat through ten minutes of boringness before I saw Rory Mcilroy, and Niall followed closely behind.
"There's daddy!" I exclaimed, looking at the screen. Owen had no comprehending skills.
I found it funny that I had just seen him yesterday at the hospital, and there he was on a screen. He looked so happy. Maybe it was because he was golfing with his idol, or maybe it was because he was a new dad.
Probably both.
I felt like I was part of a secret club, being one of the few people that knew about one of the real reasons he was bursting with excitement. I couldn't have been more proud of him, being on that golf course.
Even though I didn't know that much about golf, I knew it had to be a privilege to caddy for the best golfer in the world.
An interview began to play on the TV screen, and Niall was walking to the camera and he tripped.
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
He must have been so nervous, being with Rory. He mustn't had seen where he was going, and came tumbling down.
To make things even more funnier, the interviewer said "Oh no Niall!" like he was a baby.
Niall got back up on his feet, but the words that the interviewer had said were a meme by the next time I logged onto twitter, after putting Owen back to sleep.
N/A
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