POV: Jade
The words are weighing heavily on my mind. Do I think she gave up on love, on us? The question plays on repeat in my head. Over and over, I can hardly focus for the rest of the day. I help Mackenzie get ready, I make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. I even smile at all the right intervals just like the actress I am. But my mind is miles away from this wedding.
When Mackenzie finally says I do to Darleen, everyone claps and cheers, but as I watch them kiss I feel something horrible stir inside of me. Some dark, jealous, monster I thought I put to bed a while ago.
This was supposed to be me.
I was supposed to have a big lavish wedding. I was supposed to be marrying the girl of my dreams. I was supposed to have a designer dress and a live orchestra. This was supposed to be my big day. Instead, I'm stuck playing the maid of honor, a side character in a story not my own.
I have to bite the inside of my cheek and smile, forcing back tears. I shouldn't try and claim the spotlight, this is Mackenzie's big day. Not mine. This story isn't about me. It's about them, and their love, and their happiness. I guess girls like me don't get the happy ending after all.
This wedding can't be over fast enough. It all just goes by in a blur. Darleen's family basically taking over the whole shebang. Once Mackenzie became an official Grayson, the kid gloves were off and they instantly began to treat her like one of their own. It was a strange sight to see. The people who were making faces and whispering under their breaths about her, now kissing ass and gushing. I hope Mackenzie knows what she's gotten herself into.
But even perfect couples like Darleen and Mackenzie have their issues. While on the outside they are smiling and laughing... whatever it is the two were fighting about hasn't been resolved. Mackenzie is a better actor than I thought, if didn't know she was secretly very upset, I wouldn't be able to tell at all.
"Are you sure you got this?" Mackenzie asks as I help start picking up the wedding.
"I got it, go, you and Darleen enjoy... Where is it you two are going again?"
"Switzerland."
Geez, must be nice.
"Right, Switzerland. Go enjoy that. Honeymoon and all that. Have fun, be safe, I got this."
She sighs and leans against the table I work to clear.
"Mackenzie," I say in a knowing tone. Obviously, she's stalling.
"I just... I don't know. Darleen and I had that fight, and we got married. I mean for a second there, I didn't know if I was going to say I do. I just... I don't know. This all feels like a lot."
"Well I'm not your wife, maybe you should talk to her. Just because you are married now doesn't mean you won't fight and have issues. Just talk to her, work things out. And get out of my way I'm trying to clean here." I booty bump her.
She chuckles.
"You know we hired a cleaning crew, you can go home now." She points out.
"No way, I worked very hard on these flower arraignments, and no one is just going to throw them away." I pout.
"Jade," she says in the same tone I gave her moments before.
I sigh.
"What's wrong? You've been out of it all night." She asks.
I pick at the table clothes.
"I don't know." I lie.
"Just go home, relax. I know this can't be easy for you." She rubs my shoulder.
"I'm so happy for you," I force a smile.
"Well, that makes one of us. I'll let you know if I feel that way after Switzerland." She jokes.
I chuckle.
"There you are," Darleen walks over, back into her normal clothes. She probably couldn't wait to get out of that monkey suit fast enough. She doesn't fool me, I know she left it behind on purpose.
"Here I am," Mackenzie sighs. She's still in her beautiful dress.
"You do realize we still have to pack and that our plane leaves in a few hours, right?" Darleen says.
"Right..."
"Mackenzie," Darleen gives her a sad puppy dog look.
"I'm coming, I'm coming, geez, don't look at me like that. You know I hate that."
Darleen wraps herself around Mackenzie from behind and buries her head into her shoulder. I see Mackenzie blush. She can pretend to be mad all she wants but I know she and Darleen are happy together.
"You can send Jade a postcard, come on." Darleen whines.
"Hey, right here," I frown.
They chuckle.
"Come on." Darleen pleads again.
"Fine, fine, I'm coming. Well, I'll call you Jade. And Go home, leave the cleaning to the crew. That's why we hired them." Mackenzie says.
"Blah blah blah, I can't hear you." I grab the flowers off the table.
She rolls her eyes and smiles before she and Darleen walk off. Now officially Darleen and Mackenzie Grayson.
I stare at the white roses and frown.
Then I flinch when the dj starts playing music while the crews work to pick everything up. He's still here for another hour so he's just chilling and playing music.
"Need a hand?" Skylar comes up behind me, causing me to flinch again.
"Sorry," she says when she notices.
"No... I was just, taking some flowers home with me." I eye the roses in my hands.
"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you around then." She sticks her hands in her pockets awkwardly before turning on heel to leave.
"Wait!" I say too quickly and cringe. Smooth Jade, smooth.
She pauses in her steps. I set the flowers back on the table. For a moment the two of us remain frozen, waiting for the other to do or say something. But I've officially run out of things to say to her. And I think she's run out of things to say to me too.
"Um, how did you like the wedding." I finally ask.
God! That's the best I could come up with! Doomed! So stupid.
"It was... nice." She turns to face me.
"Yeah." I force a smile.
"Very, elegant, pretty."
"Yeah," I say again.
"Yeah." She echoes.
"About your question," I say.
She gives me her full undivided attention, taking a step closer to me, her eyes locked into mine. It makes my heart skip a beat.
"I don't think... I don't think you gave up on love, on us. I think you held on as long as you could. We both did. Whether we want to admit it or not, what we had wasn't working. I was in denial about that for a long time, but I'm not anymore. Us, breaking up, wasn't your fault Skylar."
"It wasn't? Because... I feel like it was. I feel like all this... drama... was pointless. All this to get away from you, to heal from you, to grow without you. Only to get to the end of the road and find that..." She trails off.
"That you what?" I take a step closer to her.
"That I still love you," she whispers, almost like she's afraid to admit it out loud.
My heart hurts for her. I want to hold her, to kiss her, to love on her like only I can.
I open my mouth to say something, anything, but at that exact moment, the DJ decided to play Always On My Mind by Willie Nelson. The song hits too deep, stings too bad, the wounds are still fresh. The girl of my dreams standing right in front of me. She's always been right in front of me, and now... now I can't hold her, can't love on her, can't be with her like I want to be. It makes me feel like a failure.
"Guess it's too late for all that now." Skylar shakes her head before turning to leave.
I grab her wrist, stopping her from leaving.
"It doesn't have to be," I say.
She sighs but turns to face me, instead of saying anything she pulls me closer and buries her head into my chest, swaying to the music. I wrap my arms around her, closing my eyes to dance to the song.
The world melts around us, and for the first time in what feels like a very long time, it's just me and Skylar in the whole wide world.
How I wish this moment could last forever.
I feel tears stinging my eyes, threatening to spill over.
"Skylar, I'm sorry. I can change, I have changed. We can try this again, we can make it work—"
"Shh," she hushes me and continues to sway to the music.
I hold her closer, tighter, refusing to let go.
The song finally ends and up next is I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. Skylar stops dancing and pulls back to meet my eyes, I feel my tears slipping down my cheeks. She gives me a soft smile and wipes my tears for me.
"Don't cry for me anymore Jade." She says.
"Then don't leave me," I whisper.
"This next part of my life, this road I'm going down, I have to walk alone. You can't come with me. You need to focus on your life, focus on your dream, stop letting me hold you back."
"Skylar you don't—"
She cuts me off by pecking me on the lips.
"It's okay," she whispers. "You don't need me, you never did."
"That's not true!" I shout.
She chuckles before pulling back.
"It doesn't have to be too late, it doesn't have to be the end!" I beg.
"Please don't cry," She says at the same time Whitney does in the song.
"Skylar, please."
She takes a deep breath just in time for Whitney to hit her dramatic climax.
We share a look, one filled with so many emotions, of pain and love.
"Don't walk away from me," I plead.
"I don't want to. I really don't. But like I said... I need to focus on me right now. I need to find out who I am, what I want. I'm not going to lie to you anymore Jade. I love you, I really do, but right now... that love I have, isn't good for either of us. There is a whole wide world out there, and I need to find my place in it. When I am ready, I'll come to you. Wait for me, or don't wait, whatever you need to do, you do. I just... need to figure this all out."
"Come home with me right now, stay the night. You know this day has been tough on both of us. You shouldn't be alone. I know you need me right now. Please Skylar," I grab her hand again.
"If I give in to you right now, like I always do, nothing will change Jade."
"I've changed! I understand where it all went wrong!"
"Well, I don't!"
The music stops.
"I don't... understand this. I thought I did, but I don't."
"Let me help you." I plead.
She caresses my face, "You aren't going to take no for an answer are you." She forces a smile.
"No," I say firmly, not breaking eye contact.
"Same stubborn Jade as always," she shakes her head.
"The only person more stubborn than me is you." I point out.
"Touché," she giggles.
"Come home with me, I don't want you alone tonight. Not after everything you just said, not after how you've been acting. Please. I know you're hurting on the inside."
"Fine, but only for tonight."
"Okay, just as friends. Promise. I just don't want you leaving like this," I squeeze her hand.
She nods.
So I grab the flowers and we finally leave, the eyes of the cleaning crew following us out.