Hunter's POV
I slammed my cutlery to the plate, a clash echoing through the room, "What's your problem with me, huh?"
I felt stupid, I felt betrayed and more than anything I felt lied to.
I had felt like this was a family, I wanted this to be my family but I now saw that half the time they forgot I was there until they needed some entertainment and then would look for me to do something mad. How I hadn't seen it before, I didn't know.
Ona had warned me but I'd defended them all.
Jill had questioned me but I'd shut it all down, not wanting to talk shit about the people I loved.
Mapi had even mentioned it but I thought she'd been ridiculous.
They were saints in my eyes, they were the people to save me and then lift me up on a podium. But I now saw that podium was a stage. They lifted me onto that stage so I'd entertain them with a performance, then the curtains would close and they'd wonder why I was so mad. I was mad anyway, but if you expected me to give you a performance, I'd give you a performance.
I was nothing if I wasn't a performer.
However I wanted their honest love, I'd grown to believe that they all honestly loved me. I thought I'd found my place in the world, or at least my people, but it turned out I'd been so involved in my own mind that I'd been blind to everything else.
Lisa immediately looked uncomfortable with my tone, "I don't have a problem with you," she shakily assured me.
I wished I could believe it but now I'd seen it, I couldn't be blinded anymore.
"Yes you do," I told her. It wasn't a question anymore, it was purely just a statement.
Kim rubbed her forehead, "Do you really want to start this Hunter?"
"Yes, I do Kim," I snapped at her, "And what's is 'this' because I'd love for someone to tell me what everyone else has been warning me about for months."
Beth put her hand on mine, "Hunts, if you've got a point try and say it nicely."
"Nicely!" I scoffed, "What about everyone else has been nice?"
Beth cautiously nodded, "But it's easier for everyone to understand if you're nice and say it properly."
Beth was trying to diffuse a bomb which had already blown, though the destruction hadn't reached this group. Yet.
No one had anything to say but I could tell they all knew what I was talking about, from the uncomfortable expressions on their faces and lack of words. Of course, now, no one had anything to say yet when I'd been blissfully naïve they'd said it all.
"What have I done to any of you?" I asked, looking around.
"Nothing," Kim sighed.
Lisa seemed apprehensive to talk but pushed through regardless, "Don't let her off that easily Kim."
"I'm not getting in the middle of this," Kim shook her head, sitting back in her seat.
"Go on Lisa," I practically dared her, my eyes being red hot daggers.
"Well," Lisa gulped, "You're a bit..."
"I'm a bit what? Come on Evans, I think I've proved enough that you need to spell it out for me," I narrowed my eyes at brunette.
"You're a bit much."
"What the fuck does much mean Lisa?" I shook my head, in disbelief that even when they told me, I still didn't understand.
Danielle stepped in, realizing Lisa looked petrified, "I think Lisa is trying to say that sometimes everyone finds you difficult because you're so full on."
"So you're all making up a bullshit excuse?" I questioned, because I heard not a single solid reason being mentioned.
"Well there's other things," Lisa murmured.
I threw my arm out towards her, "Oh look you've remembered how to talk again. How convenient. What else have I done?" I could barely even breath, my chest was constricted and every word was so sharp that it exhausted me. Though now I'd started this war, I'd make sure to walk away as a winner.
Though I questioned if I could win a battle against most of the people I loved. It seemed I'd walk away alone.
"Sometimes we don't really think you respect us," Lisa looked to the table, "Like you sometimes cross the line."
Beth shook her head, quietly stepping in my defense, "I don't think that's it Lis, I think Hunter just has that humor. We know she doesn't try to be offensive, she just says what she's thinking."
I spoke over Beth, she was making a beautifully composed point but mine was far louder in volume and meaning, "If I don't respect you, then how is it fair you all shit talk me? That doesn't seem like much respect to me!"
There was silence.
That's what I got as apology; silence.
That's what I got to prove their love; silence.
That's what I got to defend me; silence.
Silence.
I looked around at the five girls I would consider my family and realized I'd been taken on a complete joy ride. I wasn't a person to them, I was an object. I was just another piece of silverware in the Arsenal WFC trophy cabinet, one that the team would pull out when they needed some entertainment then ignore when they grew bored. To be a trophy was fun for a while, but I now realized that people love to show their trophies off but in private, they don't give two shits.
"You know, I'm really fucking stupid." I muttered, I felt the burning, hot tears reach the back of my throat and glaze over my eyes.
"You're not stupid Hunter," Beth tried to console me. It was nice for her to do this but it would have been nicer if she'd stood up for me in the first place.
"No." I stopped her immediately, "I am because I would have died for every single one of you," My voice cracked, the walls were finally coming down because they'd hired bulldozers to tear me down brick by brick.
If I was once too much, I was now nothing so it shouldn't be a problem anymore.
"I would still die for you all," I repeated, "That's how much I love you and you guys have hated me the whole time."
"We don't hate you," Jen told me, the first time she'd spoken throughout this entire interaction.
"Then why be such fucking bitches," I questioned, holding my breath to avoid the sobs from wracking through my entire body.
Everyone jumped at that phrase, "That's not fair," Kim told me, "You can't call people that Hunter!" She lectured me.
I looked around for a moment, waiting for someone to point out the fact that I was the person in this situation getting a lecture. I realized I was alone. Being alone had taught me to be strong, I needed to remain strong especially in times like these so I brushed my hands through my hair and narrowed my eyes at Kim, questioning her previous statement in my mind again.
"I could have said worse," I told her. Yet another fact.
Beth shook her head. She seemed to pretend to be on both sides of this argument though I knew she sided with them, "You can't threaten things like that," Beth reasoned like I was some ignorant, little child.
"When will everyone stop talking to me like a child?" I asked, shutting my eyes so for just a single second I didn't have to see their faces.
Jen gulped, "I think you need to voice your opinions differently."
"Oh because you guys did?" I laughed, I'd gone through just shy of a million emotions in the last ten minutes.
"No," Jen replied slowly, "But when you throw out big accusations like none of us loving you, it only adds fuel to the fire."
"So I am meant to believe that after everyone here has talked utter shit about me, for god knows how long, that I'm loved?"
Kim grimaced, "We do love you Hunter, you must know that."
I shook my head, stating the facts simply, I couldn't let them see how much they'd broken beneath the surface, "I don't believe that."
Danielle sighed, "Hunter, come on. We never said that we didn't love you."
I shrugged, "You didn't have to."
Their actions spoke far louder than that singular word ever could. love. It didn't truly mean anything in the grand scheme of things because unless you'd die for someone, you shouldn't tell them you love them.
True love is when you unconditionally love that persons' soul. When even, if they don't love you, you will still love them. So I sat there and could confidently say that I loved everyone on the team, I loved them like they were my own skin and blood. I loved them so much that I'd been blinded by naïve loyalty and shut down everyone elses' questions.
'Love makes people stupid', that's what Nana had once told me and I'd always thought she was just dramatic. But I agreed with her now because I'd been beyond foolish to ever let my heart trick itself into thinking I was loved here.
"I'm going to go," I tensed my jaw, feeling the tears rise again, "Thanks for the chat guys."
"Hunter don't go," Lisa pleaded.
I stood up, straightening out my top, "Why? So you can tell me everything that's wrong with me again? Because Lisa, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, but I could think of some shitty things to say about you right now."
"And there she goes again!" Lisa pointed to me, looking at the others to prove her point, "Firing these missiles to deflect from herself."
I smiled at them, ignoring Lisa's previous comment, "And I also mean this in the sweetest way because for some reason I still love you all, but right now I think you're probably some of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever met."
I didn't really mean that in the grand scheme of things, but I was hurt and hurt people need to stab those who wounded them.
Lisa just laughed, glad that I'd proved her right.
Then I turned around, walking back to my room with a loud mind and a screaming heart.
I didn't break often, I usually kept myself composed. But when I broke, it was into a million tiny pieces scattered across the floor and it wasn't pretty but I'd stick those pieces back together and somehow shine even more. Though now, I don't think this Mirrorball could ever be used again, the pieces were too small; people had struck me down one too many times.