Hunter's POV
Today we were playing Aston Villa, so we'd already faced an awfully long journey; something which had never been the ideal way to spend my morning.
So that, and the fact we were loosing at half time, meant my mood was rather awful.
Kim was trying to pull us all together in the changing rooms, "We can do this," she said, "We can score two goals to equalize. I know we could even score three goals to win!"
The team also seemed convinced, though I just felt this dark cloud looming over my head. One that hadn't been this heavy in a while. So, I knew we had the ability to win this game but I didn't feel that fire ignite; it was more just desperation.
"Come on girls! Game time!" Kim practically roared, everyone cheering to as they began filing off towards the tunnel.
Suddenly, I felt a hand catch mine, I spun around to see the softened eyes of Jill, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I told her, "Why wouldn't I be?"
Jill glanced to the floor, dropping my hand and looking slightly disheartened by my sharp tone, "You just didn't seem yourself."
"Okay," I shrugged, "Well I'm fine."
Jill didn't believe me, I just knew it, but we didn't have time right now for a conversation and quite frankly, I wasn't in the mood, "That's good then."
"Yeah," I brushed her off, walking towards the tunnel, "Are you coming?" I asked, as I held the door open for her.
Jill seemed to snap back into action, "Yeah, I'm coming. Thanks," She muttered quietly.
I lined up behind Jordan, trying to push every distracting thought from my mind and attempting to focus on the football. It was almost as if my eyes were glassed over by this red, hot and unexplainable feeling.
I couldn't describe exactly how I was feeling and it left my blood turning cold; it hurt. I realized that I wanted so much that is not here. And if I longed for things greater than this reality, how would I ever be truly happy? Maybe it would come in random, sporadic bouts but it never seemed long lasting.
I saw her face. I saw his.
Maya. Marco.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, I thought it was his. My heart dropped and my head spun around expecting to see those stoney, cold eyes but instead they were green and nervous.
"Are you okay?" Jill asked once again, I then noticed the rest of the team had already taken to the pitch but I'd been too busy to realize.
I nodded, tensing my jaw as I tried to gulp back those thoughts, "I'm fine," I told her slowly, "We have to get on the pitch."
Jill didn't say anything, she didn't even immediately follow me. But within a few seconds, we were all set in our positions. Villa trying to remain in the lead, us trying to turn the game around. The whistle blew and the match began again.
Aston Villa brought on substitutes fairly early to strengthen their defense after they'd seen our fiercely offensive tactics. I just felt myself getting more and more annoyed every time no one ran into space or the ball would get stolen from my feet by someone kicking it off the pitch. It felt messy, they felt unnecessarily stressed.
Finally, I felt a breakaway happening as I received the ball in midfield and ran. Luckily, Viv was already near the box, so I passed to her and she brought the ball back to Jordan. Jordan took her time, realizing she had an important opportunity and shot. It was a beautiful goal but that honestly didn't matter; what mattered is that she'd been the first step in regaining those precious WSL points.
I ran over to Jordan, jumping on her back but then realizing she was a lot shorter than me as she stumbled about. "Sorry Jords," I laughed, "Great goal."
"It's fine, you just surprised me that's all," She chuckled, smiling widely with pride for the entire team.
The whistle blew again, we needed one goal to draw. We ideally needed two. A win would forever be the aim in my mind, up until that very last second.
In the eightieth minute, I felt time closing in but the ball was by feet. It was a challenging position but the box was swarmed with defenders, passing didn't seem like a viable option. So, I kicked the ball and just as planned, it rocketed into the top left corner.
The team went to celebrate but I didn't even consider it, I ran right into the goal to collect the ball then brought it to the half way line. We had about eight minutes left to win this. I had my mind focused because I knew the second I allowed my thoughts to drift, I'd be drowned.
The whistle blew, it was an automatic response to run.
Viv had the ball just outside of the box, she was running into the box when she'd been wiped to the floor by a defender. I threw my arms up in the air, yelling that it had been an obvious penalty or possibly a free kick but the referee motioned to play on. "Ref!" I screamed, "Come on! Are you blind?"
The referee ignored me, it hadn't been the first time she'd heard disagreements on the pitch today.
The Aston Villa defense were passing between themselves, it felt like a game within a game. Every pass only invigorated me more, eventually I grew tired of their teasing and sprinted towards a player stealing the ball and also bringing them to the floor. It hadn't been on purpose but it wasn't a smart tackle; I wasn't thinking.
The whistle blew but this time it wasn't for the game to begin. The game stopped.
"I got the ball didn't I ref?" I questioned outraged, pointing to the ball at my feet.
"Not fairly though. Was it?" A defender argued.
I shook my head, "Not my fault she went down so easily. Was it?" I mimicked her words.
Leah went to pull me back but her hand on my shoulder triggered something, "Get off me!" I told her, trying to hold back the tears.
Leah looked slightly startled and stepped back, holding her hands up, "it's me Hunter," she reasoned.
I turned around, "Ref, if that was a foul then it should have been a foul on Viv!" I shouted and I did have a fair point.
The referee barely even engaged with us, she pulled the yellow card out of her pocket and held it above my head.
I threw my arms to the side, "Not fair! It's not on!" I continued to argue.
Jill stepped in front of me, she didn't make a single piece of contact but blocked my view of the referee and Villa players, "Come on," she sighed, urging me to walk backwards.
I looked up at her, feeling the coldness in my eyes long to soften but I couldn't let it happen. I had to lock that door before everything flooded in.
I walked backwards, waiting an eternity for them to take the free kick.
"Take your time don't you?" I yelled, done with all the tricks they played.
Eventually the ball was back in play, I knew we had three minutes of injury time remaining and Villa would do everything to stop us scoring. But at this point, I'd do anything to score then at least this journey had been worth something. Then at least getting up today had meant something. Then at least life had been worth something.
That's how much I could zoom out from my thoughts; I made one single match the meaning for my whole life.
Lia passed up to Jill who found me just outside of the box. I began running, I'd seen a line and I was just about to shoot and then the whistle blew. The game was over.
"What the fuck?" I questioned, knowing the game should have continued until the ball was out of play, "How's that fair? Ref!"
Viv was angry but no where near to the same level as me, "Just leave it Hunter. You'll get yourself in trouble."
I knew she was right. I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't look at anyone, I didn't wait a single second. I ran down the tunnel knowing these emotions weren't from the draw today or the stupidity of the referee, but they were from things much deeper.
As everyone walked back in, they knew better than to engage with me. I guessed Leah had talked to Jill and told her to give me space, allow me to cool down. But I wasn't angry, though I didn't even know how I felt; it was destroying me though, I knew that much.
We had dinner straight away as we arrived at the hotel. Joe told me I had to go or I wouldn't get food for the night, that thought didn't bother me but the staff insisted. It seemed everyone was being particularly tricky today.
"Hunter, come sit with us," Beth waved me over. I sat with her on a table with Danielle, Kim, Jen and Lisa.
"We did well to equalize," Kim huffed, I didn't agree with her though. We shouldn't settle with a draw.
"Yeah," Jen agreed, nodding profusely, "I think there were a lot of positives."
"And their defense was insanely heavy, right Hunts?" Beth tried to include me.
I just raised my eyebrows.
Danielle cleared her throat, "Jordan's goal was insane though."
"Yours' as well, Hunter," Beth told me.
"You got a little fiery today, huh?" Lisa joked.
I just shrugged.
"Seems you had a lot to say on the pitch, nothing to say now though," Lisa chuckled.
"Lisa..." Kim warned, she knew better than to tease me when I was in a mood like today.
"No!" Lisa snapped, "I'm sorry but if she can't control her temper then she's not the player she claims to be!"
And that's when it happened.
It now seemed like it had been a long time coming but finally it clicked. It clicked and it felt like a thousand bullets hitting me all at once, I had to deflect them somewhere.
_____________
author's note
very random question.... if you have read multiple of my books who is your favorite main character (Hunter, Harley or Kameron)? And why?
It's a very random question but I was just really curious.
I don't have a favorite but I love them all and enjoy writing their stories each for different reasons. I also just love hearing all your guys' opinions.
Also.. who is your favorite side character in any of the books?