Lexie:
"Damn it. Damn it. Damn it," I cry, banging my head against the steering wheel.
I haven't left Addy's driveway yet. I don't actually want to leave, and I don't know why I stormed out like I did.
"Pick up, pick up," I beg, my legs shaking as I put my phone on speaker and rest it on the dashboard.
"Hi sweetheart," Mom speaks gently, answering the call. The second I hear her voice, I break. Any tears I was holding back, I'm not able to anymore. "Lex, honey, what happened? Why are you upset?" Her tone is laced with concern, but I feel like I get a breathe in long enough for me to answer.
"Lex, I'm gonna put you on FaceTime, okay?"
I accept it and place my phone behind the steering wheel so she's able to see me. "Oh sweetheart, can you take some deep breaths for me?" She coos. "I-I can't."
"Yes, you can. Follow me, okay? You can do this," she assures me, her voice more stern.
I bring my hands to my stomach, trying to breathe into my stomach. My therapist taught me to do that whenever I'd have panic or anxiety attacks when I first started seeing her.
"Good job, honey. Again," she says after I manage to take a deep-ish breath.
It takes a couple of minutes, but finally my breathing is stable. "What happened?" She questions softly. "I don't want to talk about it right now, otherwise I'll have another panic attack," I admit, giggling dryly as I wipe my tears. She nods, "that's okay. Where are you now?"
"I'm still at Addy's just in my car, obviously. I might go back in though," my voice shakes as I tell her this, nervous that my girlfriend might not want to see me. I wouldn't even blame her either. I feel like I'm messing everything up right now.
"Did you two have a fight?" She asks, her eyebrows drawn together. "No," I shake my head, "it's complicated. I'll tell you in person."
"Okay, sweetheart," she smiles lovingly.
The car door opens, startling me before I realise it's just Addy. She's very obviously been upset too by her red eyes and tear stained cheeks.
"I'm gonna go, Mom. I love you," I say. "Okay, honey, I love you too."
Once I hang up the phone and turn my gaze back to my girlfriend, she opens up her arms to me. I step out the car, and walk into them, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry," I tell her, feeling the tears slip down my cheeks again.
"It's okay, Lex. It's okay," she whispers, holding one hand on the back of my head, the other on my lower back. "Do you wanna come back inside?"
"Yes please," I nod, pulling back and taking one of her hands in mine, not letting go as I grab my phone and keys out the car, locking it behind me.
When we get back to her bedroom, I sit next to her with my head resting resting on her shoulder. "Did I do something that triggered you?" She questions hesitantly, her thumb brushing over my hand. "You didn't do anything wrong. I started having what I can only describe as mini flashbacks, I guess, but it wasn't your fault," I explain.
"It's not that I don't want to do it, trust me," I add, both of us giggling, "it's just I think I have to take it really slowly next time."
"Okay, we can go as slow as you need," she assure me, squeezing my hand gently, "just, if you need to stop next time, please don't walk out again."
"I won't, I promise. I'm sorry I even did in the first place," I admit. "It's okay, honey," she smiles genuinely, pecking my lips.
"I think that's my Mom with dinner," she states after hearing the garage door open.
Oh goody.
__
"Since when do you have a cat?" I question as Wendy, Addy's Mom, takes the sushi out from the brown paper bag. "We don't?" She frowns, looking over the kitchen counter at the black and white kitten stretching at my feet.
"Oh my goodness," Addy gasps, immediately picking it up after coming back from the bathroom. "Hello cutie," she says, kissing it's head, "how did you get in the house?"
"Mom, can I keep it?" She questions with a hopeful smile. "He probably belongs to someone," Wendy chuckles, sliding me a plate. "Help yourself."
"Thank you," I say.
"How do you know it's a 'he'?" She frowns, lifting the kitten up under its front paws so she can check. "No penis. It's a girl."
Addy takes the kitten into the living room along with her plate of sushi. I follow after her, giggling, watching her completely obsess over it.
We get about half way through an episode of The Big Bang Theory and I have only managed to get through one piece of sushi.
"Mom, do you think we should get it some food?" Addy questions, regarding kitten. "Adelaide, we don't have cat food, and it doesn't belong to us," she reminds her just as the doorbell rings. "I'll be back."
I put my plate down on the coffee table and sit back, crossing my arms over my stomach.
"Are you gonna eat anymore?" My girlfriend questions. I shake my head, "I'm full."
"Lexie, you had one piece," she points out. "I know, I wasn't that hungry," I mumble. "Are you sure?" She frowns. "I'm sure."
Her expression saddens slightly as she nods.
"Adelaide, the kids want their kitten back!" Wendy yells from across the house.
_________
I want to make a playlist for this book cause I'm dramatic, so gimme song recommendations that you think will suit