*I kinda hate the writing in this chapter but we move
Lexie:
"Addy, I want to stop."
"Okay, that's okay," she nods, a gentle smile resting on her face as she climbs off of me, "did I do anything wrong?"
"No, I just...I thought I was ready, I'm sorry," I say, sitting up to hang my legs over the side of the bed. My back to her as to not let her see me cry.
I reach for my bra and t-shirt that had been previously thrown onto the floor, putting them back on as quickly as possible.
"You don't need to be sorry, Lex. I understand, but are you okay?"
I ignore her question because I know that if I don't, I'll completely breakdown.
"Honey?"
I reach for my car keys, my phone and my shoes before making my way out of her bedroom, accidentally slamming the door behind me.
Nine Hours Earlier
"Happy movie release day!" My Mom squeals, throwing herself onto my bed. I've not been awake for more than ten minutes and she's clearly already had at least one cup of coffee.
Granted though, it is eleven o'clock and I was meant to be at school three and a half hours ago.
It's not that I slept through my alarm. I heard it go off, I just chose to ignore and truthfully, I really needed that extra sleep.
"Happy movie release day," I smile, turning myself onto my left side, throwing an arm over her stomach.
"So, I figured that today, since it's just the two of us home, we could go get Starbucks, come back, binge watch Gilmore Girls in our pyjamas and have lots of cuddles. Sound good?"
"What about school?" I remind her. "Meh, you've slept through half the day anyway. Just stay home," she shrugs, squeezing my arms around my body.
"Really?" I ask. "Yes, really."
"Now, get up. The house is too quiet and I'm bored," she adds, patting my back before pushing me off of her. "I'm coming, woman," I yawn, stretching my arms above my head.
"Can we go to Starbucks now? I need coffee."
"Yeah, just brush your teeth first. Your breath stinks," she teases, beginning to walk out of my bedroom. "Meanie," I frown, throwing my bear at her.
She turns back around with her mouth hung open. "What did the bear do to you?"
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"What do you want?" Mom questions as we pull up into the drive-thru. "Just black coffee, please."
Once our drinks are ordered and payed for, we pull up to the last window and wait.
"Have you got anything planned this afternoon?" She asks, her elbow resting on the door with her head in her hand. "I think I'm going to Addy's tonight, but not until like seven ish. She's going out with her Mom after school to see our movie," I tell her.
She smiles slightly with a nod. "Are you staying the night?"
"Probably, yeah. Is that okay?" I ask. "Of course. Just go to bed at a reasonable time, please," she orders, quirking an eyebrow. "I will."
"Have you called Olivia yet?" I question as our drinks are passed out to us. "I did, just before you woke up. She has a cancellation tomorrow afternoon if you'd like that, or has offered to come in Saturday morning for you? Whatever you'd prefer."
"Probably tomorrow afternoon. I'll wanna sleep in on Saturday," I admit. "Okay, I'll call her and let her know," she smiles gently.
"Thank you. What time is it?"
"Four-fifteen to five."
"Okay," I nod, "can you take me, please?"
"Of course, sweetheart," she speaks gently, leaning across the console to place a kiss on my forehead.
When we get back home, the rest of our afternoon is spent on the couch watching Gilmore Girls. Mom made a chicken salad for a late lunch which we shared, although I avoided the actual chicken for the most part.
"Alright, I'll be back in a half hour. I'm just going to get Rose from school," Mom says, leaning over the back of the couch and kissing the top of my head. "See ya," I say with a slight smile. "I love you," she adds. "I love you too, mama."
The moment I hear her pull out of the garage, I pause the tv and go upstairs to my bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach.
Addy: (first time I've done her pov)
My Mom picked me up straight after school today so that we could go see Lex's movie together. I feel like I've been waiting forever for this, and I'm so excited.
"Hi," I smile widely, getting into the passenger side of Mom's car. "Hi baby, how was your day?" She questions, turning the music down.
My Mom is a big Lizzo fan, and I swear it's all she listens too.
"It was fine. Lex wasn't there though, so a little boring," I shrug, putting my seatbelt on. "How was your day?"
"Well, I had work this morning which you know how it is, and then came home and cleaned. So also a little boring," she laughs, pulling out of the parking space.
"At least we get to do something fun now," I state, grinning. "I know, I'm excited," she says, tickling my neck, "It's been way too long since we've been to the cinema."
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The moment the movie ended, I wanted to watch it again. Granted it's like that with any Marvel movie I watch. This one is by far my favourite though.
I'm completely amazed by my Lexie.
The moment Mom and I walk in the house, I leave my bag and shoes at the door and message her.
Me: I'm home now, come over whenever you're ready <3
Me: also Mom's wondering what you want for dinner? She's going to get takeout of some sort x
Lexie: yayy okay, I'll leave here in like ten mins. And honestly I don't mind, whatever you're having I'll eat 🤍
Me: okay! You feel like Mexican food, or sushi?
Lexie: maybe sushi?
Me: okay :) I'll tell Mom. I love you x
Lexie: I love you too 🤍 see you soon x
"Adelaide, I just cleaned the house! Can you come get your bag and shoes please!?" Mom yells from downstairs. "Sorry!" I raise my voice, putting my phone down on my desk before doing what she asked.
"Lexie asked for sushi for dinner, is that alright?" I question, picking up my bag. "Of course."
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My girlfriends 'I'll leave in ten' usually means 'I'll leave in twenty', but eventually she arrived.
"Ahh!" I scream, running out the her car, immediately engulfing her in a hug. "You're so amazing, Lex. I loved it!" I admit. "Thank you, Adds," she giggles, holding me just as tightly.
"And Blackhill!? Oh my god," I say, my mouth hung open. "I know!" She smiles, matching my energy.
"Hey Lexie," my Mom comes outside with a smile on her face. "Hi, how are you?" My girlfriend asks. "I'm very well, thank you. And very proud of you. You were amazing," she replies.
"Thank you," Lexie smiles, her cheeks turning slightly pink.
We all make our way back inside, Lexie and I up to my bedroom. She throws herself on top of me as soon as I lay down on my bed, burying her head into the crook of my neck. "I love you," she mumbles. "I love you too," I giggle, wrapping my arms around her waist.
There's a few minutes of silence as we remain still.
I love moments like this with Lex.
A lot of people think intimacy is about sex, as Evelyn Hugo once said.
But to me, these moments are intimacy. Where you feel completely safe with someone and know that whatever it is you have to face in life, you're not alone in it.
"Addy?" She mumbles, keeping her head down. "Yes?" I smile, running my fingers down her spine. "I think I'm ready."
"Ready for what?"
"Girls, I'm just going out to get dinner!" My Mom calls out, interrupting our conversation. "Okay!" I yell before turning my attention back to my girlfriend.
"I think I'm ready to have sex," she admits, lifting her head from my shoulder and meeting my gaze.
"A-are you sure?" I ask, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Yeah," she nods with a gentle smile, "but only if you are. We don't have to if you're not ready."
"I'm ready," I admit, "I just don't want you to feel like you have to, honey."
"I promise, it's not like that," she assures me. "Okay," I smile gently.
"If you want to stop at any point, please tell me," I beg. "I will. Same goes."
Present Time
"Addy, I want to stop," she says.
She completely froze a few seconds ago which instantly made me panic and take my hands away.
"Okay, that's okay," I nod, a soft smile resting on my lips as I climb off of her, "did I do anything wrong?"
"No, I just...I thought I was ready, I'm sorry," she mumbles, frantically searching for her bra and shirt.
"You don't need to be sorry, Lex, but are you okay?" I question, worried about her sudden change in mood.
She doesn't say anything as she puts her shirt back on, her back to me.
"Honey?"
She reaches for her car keys, phone and shoes before walking out, slamming the door behind her.
I don't know what's going through her mind right now, but I know her past and her trauma so I don't want to take it personally.
Still, I can't help but let a few tears fall.
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figured I'd leave it on a cliffhanger again 🫶🏼
Also, thank you for 150k reads!!