POV: Jade
It was an accident, I didn't expect to run into her here, today, at all. I guess it was possible, me being back in L.A. I guess there was always a chance I would run into her. But the city is so big and she has school, I thought I was in the clear.
"Vida!" Skylar screams and laughs as Vida carries Skylar on her shoulders.
"To the battlefield!" Vida cheered.
"Ah! Put me down!" Skylar laughed.
Should I approach them?
Ugh, this is so stupid. How do you go from almost marrying the girl to wondering if you should approach her in public?
"This means war!" Vida cheered.
I feel a sour taste fill my mouth.
Maybe Andrea should have come with me after all.
It will be quick I said, only a couple of hours, in and out.
Fuck.
I had one simple mission, check on my house here in L.A. Then I thought since I'm here might as well go to my favorite spot to hang out, nostalgia and all that.
Fuck.
"Vida put me down, people are staring," Skylar laughed
Almost as if she could sense me Skylar and I lock eyes. I see her face go from happy to confused instantly. She stops laughing.
"What's up?" Vida sets her down.
Well, too late to run now.
"Uh... hey." I walk over to them, coffee in hand.
"Jade, what are you doing here?" Skylar asks.
"Just checking on the house, thought I'd get a coffee and come sit in the park," I say.
"Oh, well we were just leaving," Skylar says.
"How are you?" I quickly blurt out before she can leave.
Vida eyes me cautiously but says nothing.
"Good, good. Dr. Parkland was mad I was missing a few sessions but we've arranged for me to only meet with her a few times a week. I think that's better. Plus Thanksgiving is around the corner so... you know probably gonna go home for a bit. I'm doing good. Honest." She says.
"That's good, you know I worry about you," I say.
"I know. And you?"
"Uh, yeah, awesome. I'm kind of taking a year off. The studio said it was okay, given we've filmed seasons back to back. Said everyone could use the extra time off. So I've just been floating around, with Andrea. Helping Kenzie with her wedding, you know, just being Jade." I say.
"Good."
"Yeah."
"Skylar, we have to go, remember?" Vida speaks up.
"Oh yeah, you remember Vida right Jade? She and I—"
"Are running late," Vida says.
Skylar eyes her in confusion.
"We have to be on the paintball field in less than 30 if we are going to make our time slot," Vida adds.
"Paintball?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, I made a list, and Dr. Parkland—"
"Skylar." Vida cuts her off.
I narrow my eyes at her.
"Sorry, running late. Uh... see you around I guess." Skylar says awkwardly before the two back away and walk off.
I watch them whisper to each other as they leave.
I wonder why she didn't tell me, I mean it's obvious to anyone with eyes the two are dating.
Sigh.
I sit on a bench and stare into my coffee, someone sitting next to me causes me to look up.
"What are you doing here?" I say in surprise as Aphrodite sighs.
"Don't tell Skylar, but I've kind of been keeping tabs on her. Just making sure she's okay."
"You're stalking her!?" I say.
"Shh! No, just checking on her."
"That sounds a lot like stalking." I point out.
"Shut up! I'm just making sure she's not off the wagon again. I mean..."
I sip my coffee.
"When I heard she was engaged..."
I spit out my drink.
"She's what!?" I say.
"She didn't tell you?" Aphrodite said.
"Wait, wait, wait, she's engaged to her!?" I can't stop myself from making a face.
"Yep." Aphrodite sighs.
"No! No, no, no she can't be!"
"That was my reaction."
"Please tell me this is a joke."
"No, Skylar told a select few she was engaged to Vida, it all happened so suddenly. Her mom called me and Dr. Parkland and we are all very worried about her. She's been acting so... different lately. It's almost like she's a whole new person. She doesn't even care about track anymore, or school, or anything in general. She's kind of...just stopped caring about the world." Aphrodite explains.
"What the hell..." I shake my head.
"So I've been keeping tabs on her, watching her when she doesn't know I'm watching. Trying to get to the root of things. See if she's on drugs again, or not taking her meds, or what. The two literally only dated for like a couple of weeks before they got engaged. It doesn't make any sense." Aphrodite said.
Skylar is engaged to someone else? I thought...she can't be. I was supposed to be the only one she ever got engaged to. I was supposed to be special. What we had was special, and now she's gonna marry a girl she's only dated a couple of weeks!? What the fuck!?
No, I won't let this stand.
Maybe Aphrodite can't get to the bottom of things, but I can.
I know Skylar better than anyone on the planet.
"What are doing?" Aphrodite said after I stood up suddenly.
"We, are going to go paintballing, come on!" I yank her out of her seat.
"What!?" She said in confusion.
"Come on!" I tug her to my car.
"But this is real leather!" she shouts.
I google directions to the nearest paintball field and drive over there. We wait in the car for a second just to be sure.
"This is stupid," Aphrodite complains as we duck down and peek to see if Skylar is in line.
"Shhh!"
"We are in a car, who is going to hear us?" she rolls her eyes.
"There she is!" I point.
"Now what genius?"
"Now, we get some gear on. Once I get Skylar alone, I'll be able to get some answers out of her." I say sure of myself.
"This is a bad plan."
"And stalking her like a creep is a good plan?" I turn to Aphrodite.
She sighs.
"Come on you big baby," I get out of the car.
She grumbles under her breath but follows me.
Good thing I didn't wear heels today.
"Have room for two more?" I say to the front counter person.
"Whoa, you're—"
"Shh!" I cover his mouth. "We are incognito," I whisper.
Aphrodite rolls her eyes.
"Can I have your autograph?" he asks.
"Sure." I roll my eyes.
One autograph later and we are putting on helmets and knee pads.
"This is stupid," Aphrodite complains.
"How did Skylar ever date you? You are so Vanilla." I shake my head.
"Shut up, at least I give better oral than you."
I gasp, "She did not say that." I say.
"She did," Aphrodite smirks.
"Bitch, I'm so going to shoot you when we get inside," I say.
"Don't shoot the messenger," she gloats.
"I give way better oral," I pout.
"Not according to Skylar."
Ugh!
"This is gonna be so fun. We should stick together." Skylar says.
I look over to her.
"Okay, team strategy, we always go back to back," Vida says.
"Good plan." Skylar nods.
She's so cute in her helmet.
Focus!
I try to look for a ring on the finger but they have gloves on.
Damn.
"Okay," I turn to Aphrodite. "We need to get that best friend stealing bitch out as soon as possible. Then I can get Skylar alone."
"Fine, and do you always have to be so childish?"
"Deal with it," I load up my gun.
Soon they let everyone into the field to hide before blowing the horn to signal the start of the game.
"Okay, let's find them." Aphrodite quickly takes off.
I follow her.
I see someone poke about the bushes to fire at us.
"Not today bitch," I quickly snipe them.
"Good aim," Aphrodite says impressed.
"My dad taught me how to shoot." I shrug.
We jump as a paintball hits the tree next to us, then we quickly duck as more comes.
"Hide!" I get behind the tree.
Aphrodite starts taking out players, I do the same. Trying to clear a path.
"There!" I point to Skylar and Vida hiding behind a tree not too far away, shooting off our team.
"Snipe her ass," Aphrodite says.
I kneel down and look through my scope.
Gotcha bitch.
I pull the trigger and just miss as she ducks down.
Damn it.
"Hurry up," Aphrodite complains.
"Shut up." I aim and fire again, hitting her right in the face shield.
"Yes! Bullseye." I cheer.
"Okay, she's walking off. Come on, I'll cover you." Aphrodite says.
I quickly stand and we run over to Skylar, dodging fire the whole way there.
"Ah!" Skylar yelps when we slide in next to her, then she shoots Aphrodite in the chest.
"Nice," Aphrodite complains.
I laugh.
"Jade!? Aphrodite!?" Skylar says in confusion.
"Walk it off," I pat Aphrodite on the back as she grumbles under her breath and walks off.
"What are you doing here?" Skylar hisses.
"Why didn't you tell me you were engaged!?" I duck down as more paint comes flying at us.
"I... I don't know!" she says also ducking down.
"Skylar, what is going on with you? Since when do you want to marry a girl after only dating her for two weeks?" I snipe someone who won't stop shooting at us.
"Hey I'm on your team!" he complains.
"Fuck off!" I shout at him.
"Bitch." He walks off.
"It's true love." She defends herself, shooting some people coming up behind us.
"Oh please," I roll my eyes.
"It is!" she gets defensive.
"And I'm Nelson Mandela," I shoot someone.
"Jade, it's none of your business who I date or marry." Skylar turns to face me.
Or marry...
Ouch.
"Skylar we are just worried about you."
"Well I'm fine!" she stands up and proceeds to get shot in the back.
"Ugh!" I shoot the person who shot her then make her shoot me so we walk back together.
"Skylar—"
"Jade what are you doing here!?" Skylar takes her helmet off.
"I'm worried about you!" I take mine off too.
"I'm fine!"
"No, you're not! You can't just marry her!"
"Why because she's not you!" Skylar gets in my face.
I take a step back.
"Why!? Why do you do this to me? Why can't you just let me be happy!?" She says with tears in her eyes.
"Are you?" I ask. "Are you happy?"
She swallows a lump in her throat and takes a shaky breath, calming down and wiping tears that were about to fall.
"I am," She says softly.
"Okay... that's all I needed to know." I back away from her.
She looks into my eyes then.
"I just want you to be happy Skylar, that's all I've ever wanted for you," I say as my own tears finally fall.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she sniffles and wipes her face. "I'm... working on being a better communicator. The truth is, when I see you, when I hear your name... when I even think about you... everything inside of me forgets how to function again. Everything in me breaks and I have to start all over, rewiring all the parts of my brain that care about you. Replacing all the broken pieces of my heart that had your name on them. I don't know who I am Jade, but I'm trying to figure it out. Okay, I'm trying. I wasted so much of my life being hung up on you, that I don't know who I am." She shrugs as tears stream down her face. "And that fucking scares me. I'm so lost, but each day... I'm finding out a new thing about myself. And Dr. Parkland was right, it can be exciting. Finding out new parts of me can be exciting but it's also terrifying. And I realized I don't want to do this alone, and I don't have to. Vida loves me, and I really, really, really care about her. You knew that even before we broke up. I could be happy with her, I could fall in love again if I let myself. I know I can. I just don't need you coming back here to mess everything up right as I was starting to feel normal again." She finishes.
"Okay." I swallow the lump in my throat. "I don't mean to make your life harder than it has to be. I'm sorry I mess it all up for you. I'll leave now, and you can be happy. I just... had to make sure." I say.
"I know you did, you wouldn't be Jade if you didn't." She forces a smile.
"Yeah," I smile as more tears fall.
"Goodbye Jade." She says.
"Goodbye, Skylar." I turn and leave.
"Well?" Aphrodite says to me as I walk over.
"Come on," I turn in the gear and wipe my tears as we go back to the car.
"What did she says?" Aphrodite pushes.
"She said she loves her, and that she's actually happy. So we have to let her be happy." I unlock the car and get in.
"That's it?" Aphrodite gets in.
I close my eyes and rest my head on the steering wheel.
God, it hurts so fucking bad.
"Jade," Aphrodite says.
"Just shut up!" I shout.
Then my shoulders start shaking as I silently cry in my car.
Enough is enough Jade, snap out of it. She's moving on, you've moved on. Get a hold of yourself. Stop it. Stop caring, stop getting involved, stop. Enough is enough.
"We have to give her space," I sit up suddenly, sniffling and sucking up my tears.
"You okay?" Aphrodite asks in concern.
"No, come on." I turn the car and get the hell out of there.
I drive back to the park and sit in the car.
Aphrodite sighs.
"Why'd you break up with her," I finally ask.
"The truth? It's because she couldn't get over you, everything she learned when she was with you was just so unhealthy, so dangerous. I kept trying to show her she didn't have to act that way or do that thing, but it wasn't getting through her head. She'd hide all her pain from me because that's what she did for you, to keep you happy and satisfied. She'd lie to me, to spare my emotions and feelings. Telling me she was okay when in reality she was climbing up a bridge and getting ready to jump off. I never knew if she was actually okay, or just saying she was. That's why I'm here now because I still can't tell the difference. I get scared that she's lying and that everything is bad and she just doesn't want me to know. I can't... I can't deal with that. That's so much worse, so much scarier than any normal relationship problem. She's not unfaithful, or problematic, she's blindly loyal to a fault and that scares the shit out of me." Aphrodite says.
"I never knew," I whisper.
"You made her into this, you did this. And now we are all working overtime to try and undo it before it gets her killed." Aphrodite says harshly.
"I know," I sob and cover my face.
"She doesn't know how to put herself first, to let herself feel and grieve. She doesn't know how to let herself be the important one, or how to be alone, or what to do with herself when no one is around. You did this, you broke her, and if we don't fix her... if we can't figure out a way to make her independent...who knows what she'll do next. Maybe next time, no one will be there to catch her when she jumps."
"No one ever tells you falling in love will be this hard," I whisper. "No one warns you about what can happen if it all goes wrong. There is no user manual for how to get over someone you've spent years being madly in love with. How? How do you stop loving? How do you pretend it doesn't hurt when it hurts so fucking bad all the damn time," I say as tears stream down my face. "How do you fix the ones you've broken along the way, turn them back into the amazing person they used to be? Make it so it was like they never knew you. How? How can you take their pain away?"
"I don't know..." Aphrodite said.
"I never meant to hurt her, I didn't know I was hurting her," I plead.
"But you did hurt her, and now she's trying to climb out of this hole she dug herself. And every time you show your face, that hole gets ten feet deeper." With that Aphrodite opens the door and gets out of my car.