POV: Skylar
"Let's go ladies! Come on, my grandma can run faster than that!" Coach shouts.
I pick up the pace, evening out my breathing and blinking to keep sweat out of my eyes.
"Skylar! Your times are way off!"
"I'm trying coach!" I run faster.
"Faster!" he claps.
The other girls stare at me, always going silent when I walk by. That's how it is wherever I go now. It's like I'm a walking mute button. The voices around me forget how to function temporarily.
Jade's little band of fans got me already.
My locker was covered in hateful messages and pictures of me. Coach told me to report it, but I didn't bother. Plus my car tires were flat, and my apartment door was spray painted with the word psychopath.
"Faster!"
I move faster but trip over myself and fall face-first.
Everyone goes silent.
I sigh and slowly get up, staring at the turf under me.
No one moves to help me up. Too afraid to trigger the crazy girl.
"You good?" Coach calls.
"Yeah," I force myself back to my feet.
I dust off and sigh, taking a moment to catch my breath.
"Go walk it off, see you tomorrow Clifton. We took you out of the lineup for now."
I swallow the lump in my throat.
"Just until your times are back up." He assures me.
"It's okay, I'll see you tomorrow." I quickly walk off.
I hear him sigh behind me.
He can say it's about my times all he wants, but ever since I came back I went from being the school's shining star to the school's dirty little secret. They removed my poster from the front of the gym and removed the picture of me in the main building, the one with my gold medals. They don't want anyone to see me, to hear me, to know I still exist.
Because when people fall, everyone likes to point and laugh. But when they get back up, everyone wants to pretend they didn't see anything. Pretend they weren't the ones pointing and laughing moments before.
I shower and get changed before walking out of the gym toward the bus stop.
But then my feet keep moving and I find myself walking aimlessly.
Hands in my pockets, just staring off into space.
Being alone can be fun, she said, but I don't feel like I'm having fun. It can be exciting, but I don't feel elated. It can be an adventure, then why does this feel more like a trial?
I walk off campus and just keep walking.
My phone beeping tells me it's time for my pills.
I stop and dig around in my bag for the bottles. I grab the right number and pop them in my mouth, taking a sip from my water bottle to choke them down.
Then I just stand there, on the sidewalk, just there. The world spinning all around me.
I see someone filming me from across the street and it makes my eyes tear up, finally forcing me to keep on walking.
A car stops beside me and rolls down the window.
"Where you going?" Vida calls out.
"I don't know, but won't it be an adventure to find out?" I say sarcastically.
"Get in," she says.
"No." I keep walking.
"Skylar get in, you're freaking me out."
I sigh and walk over to the car, getting in.
"You okay?" she asks.
I shrug.
"You haven't talked to me since..."
"I'm fine."
She sighs and starts driving me home.
When we get there I see a maintenance man painting my door to cover the graffiti. I sigh and stare out the window.
"Talk to me," she says.
"I feel like the world is punishing me for being a big stupid idiot."
"I feel the same, I'm the one that gave you the weed. It's my fault."
"It's not."
"But I feel like it is." She insists.
"What we had... it wasn't healthy Vida. You were just pushing me closer to that edge and... I let you. This is why... This is why we can't be friends anymore. Bad things happen when you and I are together." I stare out the window.
"I figured you were probably going to say something like that," she says softly.
"I can't be trusted right now, okay? I'm not okay." I feel my tears well up again. "I'm still recovering and I'm one bad decision away from landing back in that psych ward. I'm trying to get better, but when I'm with you... you make me feel like it's pointless to try. That I should just give up and stop giving a fuck about everything. Being around you... isn't good for me. You let yourself be abused for years and thought that was okay, and when I told you it wasn't you used it as a weapon against me. That's not what I need to learn to get better, using my pain against Jade... won't make her love me again. Won't fix anything. So I have to do this, for myself. For you, and for Jade. Us... staying away from each other, is what's best."
"Then look at me when you say that!" she demands.
I shake my head no and keep staring outside the window.
"Skylar, please." She begs.
"Vida... please. Don't do this to me right now. I can't... I can't face this right now."
"You need me! Where were you walking to? What were you doing before I drove up!? You wanna blame your bad choices on me, but you were making them long before I came back into the picture. I can't just walk away, not after everything." She says.
I sniffle and cover my eyes, trying to hide my tears.
"Skylar, look at me." she pleads.
"I have to be alone Vida. My therapist said—"
"I don't give a damn what she said! You know better than anyone what you need right now."
"Everything is so messed up, so hard..." I sob. "I'm trying but it's just so hard. I don't want to be alone." I sob.
"You don't have to be, I'm still here Skylar. I'll always be here."
I quickly get out of the car and run to my apartment.
"Skylar!" Vida follows me.
"Please, just stop!" I beg.
"No!"
"Vida—"
"I love you!"
The maintenance man looks up at us.
I wipe my face and move to get into my apartment, he moves to the side and lets me in. Vida follows me inside. I shut the door behind us.
"I love you and I will never stop." She says firmly.
I turn to face her and she's crying her eyes out.
"Please..." she begs. "Don't shut me out again."
I run into her arms and smash our lips together, she moans into my mouth but doesn't miss a beat.
The story of Vida and Skylar is a complicated one. A story even more complicated than the story of Skylar and Jade.
The story starts the same as any other, new girl arrives at school and makes a friend on her first day of class. Finds friend to be fun, interesting, entertaining. New girl and friend become close, share hobbies, bond over silly things, and stay up talking on the phone at night when the new girl's fiancée is blowing her off again.
Then the new girl isn't new anymore, and she and friend become best friends. She and best friend confide everything to each other. Everything about past and current relationships, childhood trauma, secret desires, and deep truths no one knows about them.
Things take a turn in their relationship before either of them knows what has happened. The girl's fiancée gets suspicious of the girl's relationship with best friend. Best friend does everything to win the fiancée's approval so she can spend more time with girl. Fiancée only gets even more suspicious of their relationship.
Fiancée goes out of town a lot and girl becomes sad, lonely, and begins to lean heavily on best friend. And in return best friend leans heavily on her. The two become codependent. Before Girl knows what is happening, the two are spending almost every waking moment together. Girl realizes too little too late that she is starting to develop feelings for best friend, and she thinks best friend feels the same.
Then best friend's ex comes back into the picture, he's abusive and mean, and girl can hardly believe someone as amazing as best friend was ever with abusive ex. But it's true, and Girl does everything she can to protect best friend, causing best friend to fall deeply in love with her.
Girl is scared, confused, and conflicted. Girl loves Fiancée, but Fiancée is always gone. Fiancée is not paying attention to Girl, fiancée is busy with her job and her new life, leaving Girl behind. Girl feels herself getting weak, feels herself wanting to give in to best friend. Feels the pull, the desire, the longing. Girl pushes best friend away out of fear.
Best friend gets back with abusive ex because best friend feels broken and lost and thinks it is what she deserves.
Abusive ex gloats to Girl.
Girl physically hits Abusive ex, Best friend and Girl fight.
Abusive ex hurts Girl, but girl hides it from fiancée, afraid fiancée will send away best friend.
Girl tells best friend to get rid of abusive ex or they can't be best friends anymore.
Best friend doesn't want to be best friend anymore, best friend wants to be girlfriend.
Girl says no, that she loves fiancée.
So best friend stays with abusive ex and then best friend becomes ex-best friend.
And girl and ex best friend stop talking for a long time.
And while girl deals with the fallout of ex-fiancée, ex best friend deals with abusive ex.
And the two girls live very different lives for a while.
But ex-best friend never forgot about Girl.
And Girl never forgot about ex-best friend.
Because when ex-best friend was in her life...
Girl was as happy as she could be.
Vida and I kiss passionately, frantically trying to quell this raging fire inside of us. Vida tugs me by my jeans, yanking me deeper into her embrace, letting me know what she wants. I pull back and quickly unbutton my pants.
She flings her shirt off, throwing it across the room.
I kiss her chest, kissing my way all the way up her shoulder to her neck.
"Skylar," she moans.
This moment has been a long time coming.
I pull back and take my shirt off, tossing it to the floor.
Then I grab her face between my hands and kiss her again.
We both flinch when my phone alarm starts going off.
An alarm for me to get on a bus if I'm going to make it to therapy on time.
I pull back, struggling to catch my breath.
"What is it?" she asks, also breathing heavily.
"My appointment reminder." I pull out my phone and shut it off.
"Oh," she deflates a bit.
I sigh and sit down on the couch.
She sits next to me.
"Vida...we shouldn't be doing this. This isn't what I need." I say.
"But it's what you want."
I turn to look at her then, and she stares at me in longing.
"Fuck," I run my hands down my face.
"I can... I can drive you to therapy if you want." She says.
I look up at her.
"Maybe... maybe there is a way for you to have both. To recover and still have me."
"You think so?" I ask.
"We can try." She says hopefully.
I get up and sit on her lap, facing her, running my hands all over her face.
"What happened to your hair?" I ask.
"I had to cut it off. He... caught it on fire." She says.
I rest my forehead against hers.
"Nearly left permanent damage, but I'm okay." She assures me.
"I'm scared of you," I admit.
"Why?"
"Because...I know...I know I could really fall in love with you." I whisper.
"I'm already in love with you." She says with equal intensity.
I look deeply into those misty blue eyes.
"Please, give me a chance to show you I can be everything you'll ever need." She pleads.
I run my hands on her nearly bald head, her blonde fuzzy hair tickling my skin.
"I'm scared," I close my eyes, whimpering as tears fall.
"Don't be," she wraps her arms around me.
"I don't want to love again." I sob.
"Look at me Skylar, look into my eyes."
So I do.
"I'm not her. I won't leave you. I promise."
"Swear?" I whisper.
"On my life."
I kiss her then, softly, slowly, fully. She kisses me back.
Girl always knew she and best friend could be more than friends. But Girl was scared of best friend, because sometimes best friend made bad choices, and best friend needed Girl to get her out of those messes. And Girl had a habit of going to save people she cared about. Girl is the one who always got hurt, and Girl was very tired of being the one to get hurt. But best friend wasn't like ex-Fiancée, best friend listened, best friend cared, best friend was there, even when Girl pushed her away.
Best friend may get Girl into trouble sometimes, but Girl loved that about her. Loved that best friend always included her. It reminded Girl a lot of ex-fiancée in that way, but best friend wasn't ex-fiancée, best friend was someone new to girl. Someone wild, unpredictable, passionate...
Girl always knew... deep down she knew. Best friend was always more than a best friend.