Y/N's POV:
"Like what does she expect me to do? She's married to someone else and wants me to give her a chance again. That's bullshit Court." I ranted; my sister was on the other end listening. I shook my head, grabbing whatever I could find and tossing it across the room. I had so much built-up anger and hurt with no way to release any of it.
"And then when I ask her about it last night, she just walked away from me, so I'm just so fucking confused about it."
I continued to rant to Courtney who listened like the great sister that she is.
"Sorry to interrupt but Mom and Dad are hosting Thanksgiving tomorrow at their place, they wanted me to tell you since you got a new number and never gave it to them." Courtney told me, reminding me that I hadn't talked to our parents in months.
"What time?"
"6:30 I believe."
Our phone call ended, and I spent the entire day sulking, questioning this entire situation with Ariana. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, I didn't want to say or make the wrong move and ruin things more than they already are.
I wanted her in my life obviously, but it didn't seem like things were set up in that favor.
The next day, Thanksgiving, I started my day early, wanting to get in the gym before I stuffed my face during dinner later today. I took a much-needed self-care shower and took my time getting dressed. I wore a plain black turtleneck with matching black suit pants and a plain jacket to follow, a few pieces of subtle gold jewelry as well.
I walked into my parent's home, expecting to see our immediate family but was shocked when I seen Ariana and Dalton seated at the table. I felt my blood begin to boil at the sight. Ariana continuously stared at me regardless of where I went in the home, only furthering my anger.
I couldn't take it, I needed to get air.
I went to walk out but Courtney stopped me, suggesting I go on a walk instead of leaving entirely.
Ariana's POV:
I watched Y/N's mom hug Dalton, exchanging smiles with him just as Y/N came back in. Y/N had ignored everyone on the way back to her seat at the end of the table, she looked pissed. My eyes went back to the other two, she held his forearms as the laughed together.
"Your cologne smells great," The older woman complimented, Y/N ignoring the comment and continuing to pick at the tablecloth while she stared into oblivion.
"Where did you get it?"
Before Dalton could answer, an obnoxiously loud scoff was heard from the corner of the room, everybody turning their heads to Y/N who acted as if nothing happened. I wanted to giggle at the gesture, but I didn't. Their father was in the kitchen, finishing up the rest of the dinner while we took our seats.
Courtney had come back from the liquor store after buying a buzz ball, greeting me for the first time today. I remained seated while she wrapped her arms around me from behind, my hands reaching to hold her forearms in the process.
She kissed the side of my head, resting our cheeks against each other with smiles.
"You smell so good, what perfume is that?" She asked, taking another inhale before standing up straight. She began to walk away to greet the others, still looking to me for an answer.
"Thanks, my wife bought it." I mentioned a bit louder than intended, my eyes immediately going to Y/N in hopes that she'd look up after hearing me, but she didn't, instead she got up and headed to the bathroom.
I could feel Dalton's eyes boring into the side of my head.
Just as Y/N was out sight, I excused myself from the table, "I'll be back, I have to go to the bathroom." Dalton continued to stare at me while Courtney gave me a subtle smirk and eyed upstairs.
I walked past the table, rushing upstairs so I could catch Y/N before she locked the door.
Her tone was stern, "Ariana move."
Shaking my head, I replied, "No, we're having this conversation whether you like it or not. I didn't get to say what I wanted to say the last time and you will hear me out." I stood my ground, shutting the door and locking it behind me.
Scoffing, she emphasized the last few words. "You didn't say anything last time, you walked away from me after I found you're a married woman."
Too confident for her own good, she grabbed my hand in an attempt to prove me wrong.
Y/n grabs her hand to show her the ring and Ariana doesn't have it on
It took a moment for her to realize that I didn't have a ring on and I didn't intend to keep one on unless it was from her, "You think you're so smart Y/N, just shut up and listen to me for once!" I scolded, raising my voice a bit.
"Okay?"
I swept back the few loose strands of hair that fell.
"I love you, and you know that, I know you do." I confessed, watching as she remained still with her arms crossed. She still refused to maintain eye contact with me, but I didn't want to create another issue with her, I just wanted to get my point across.
I sighed, continuing, "Whether I'm with someone else, which I'm not, or I'm by myself, my heart is always going to belong to you. I can't help that. I wish I would be able to move on from you, but I can't, and I don't think I ever will."
As much as I wanted to close myself off and hide these feelings again, I couldn't do that.
"I've never loved someone in the ways that I love you, the way that I crave you. You're such a big part of me and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, genuinely lost you."
Y/N had sighed, and I felt myself wanting to shake her. Here I was confessing every fiber of my being, and she was being inconsiderate of that. I reached forward, grabbing Y/N by the lower end of her jacket, shaking her softly.
My tone had a bit of anger that slipped into it as I spoke, "I wrote my vows for our wedding despite us not being together. I don't know how else to express how I feel about you, you're all I want, you're all I've ever wanted."
"Do I have to read my vows to you, so you understand how serious I am? No more games Y/N, everything is out on the table. I'm being honest." I said with a slight whine, I wanted her to know I was being serious, but it seemed like she wasn't believing me.
I began to read my vows, "It's hard to put you into words because I've love you in ways I have never loved anyone else, but I'll give it a shot. To say that I'm in love with you is an understatement,"
Y/N's POV:
I had zoned out while she was talking to me, nothing was in my head as I stared, it was just her.
I wanted to forgive and most past things but after all she's put me through, after all we've been through, I couldn't see that being a possibility. Maybe if we were friends it'd lead to something more, but I doubt Ariana would want to do that.
I forgive too easily when it comes to Ariana.
"I will promise to love you, for who you were, are, and will be. Forever and always." She finished, looking into my eyes in silence. Neither of us spoke up, letting the air be filled with comfortability.
I let her touch my face, her thumb softly caressing my cheek.
My eyes fell to the space between us, my hand reaching up to grab hers to take it off my face.
"I know how much you love me Ariana, I haven't doubted that. The reason that we haven't worked out is because you're keeping secrets, even now when you're claiming to open up to me and leave everything on the table, you're lying." I whispered the end, feeling my heart ache.
"Ask me anything, I'll tell you."
"Are you married to Dalton?" I asked, hoping she would be honest for the first time.
"Legally, yes."
I shook my head and chuckled, she was genuinely married.
She quickly grabbed my hand, reassuring me, "But I'm working on it, I've hired lawyers and everything because I don't want to be with him, I want to be with you."
"Then why did you marry him?"
She shrugged, "I'm going to be honest with you, I don't remember marrying him."
"What do you mean?"
"I was drunk, we went to New York a while back and I was upset over you to be honest, and I got drunk and ended up signing a marriage certificate and we got legally married. Why I did it? I have no idea; I could not tell you anything that happened that night, but the marriage document is legit."
I looked at her confused, "Don't you have to do that at a courthouse or something? Have a witness?"
"There was a group of us, I think we used the Airbnb woman as a witness."
I looked away from her, but she brought me back, forcing me to make eye contact with her, she wanted me to understand her every word, "Look Y/N, the details are fuzzy for me, I can't tell you everything because I don't remember everything."
"Anything else?" She asked.
"I forgive too easily when it comes to you." I mumbled, interlocking our hands.
"What're you talking about?"
"Ummm," I looked around for a moment before looking back to her, asking, "Should we try again?"
-
I listened to Wasted Times while writing this, such a good song.