BELLE ÂME
vol.2
09. the secrets that you keep
[ Paris, France, December 23rd, 1831 ]
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When Annette finally got back home she was absolutely exhausted, her nose was stuffy, her feet were sore and she had an ache at the back of her head, she was sure that the last few hours felt like days.
She tracked back to her bedroom to find that the light was on, looking through the small gap in her door she saw that her brother was seated at the foot of her bed, he was probably waited for her to come home. She suddenly felt a flood of anxiety wash over her as she prepared for the argument that was sure to come her way. She felt so alone and confused about everything that was going on.
"What's the matter with you Annette" she sang under her breath "have you been too much on your own, so many thing's unclear, so many things unknown"
Pushing the door open, she slowly walked in and faced her brother who had just stood up.
"Where have you been Annette?" she asked with and annoyed edge to his voice, she hated to see her brother upset at her and just as she was about explain herself and say she was sorry, she remembered how her brother was keeping secrets from her and her face suddenly flushed with anger, she was tired, sore and confused and the last thing she needed was to be lectured by her brother, so instead she decided that she would be doing the lecturing this time around.
"No, where have you been?" she asked while backing away.
"What? You get home at midnight looking completely disheveled and you're asking me where I've been?" replied her brother with an equal amount of rage in his expression.
"You have been acting completely secretive ever since I got here, I mean come on Alexandre! Just be straight with me for once! I get here in Paris, after YOU told me to come by the way, and Celia tells me you went to Saint Michele and couldn't pick me up, I brushed that off, but then I meet these two people on the street that seem to know you and when I ask you about it you get and nervous and you lie to me saying you don't know who they are!" Annette spoke quickly, taking little to no breaks for actually breathing in between her harsh words.
Alexandre looked at her sister with a guilty look on his face before walking away from her, he wanted to tell her so bad, but he just couldn't, not if it meant putting her at risk.
"In my life, there are so many questions and answers that somehow seem wrong" she sang, causing her brother to stop in his tracks "In my life, there are times when I catch in the silence, the sight of a far away song" Alexandre now turned around to be face to face with his sister.
" And it sings, of a world that I long to see, out of reach, just a whisper away, waiting for me" Annette felt tears building up in her eyes as she walked closer to her brother, willing the tears back, she kept singing "Do you tell me the truth? Are you lying to me? Do you see what I see? Can you sense what I feel?"
The first tear rolled down her cheek and Annette quickly wiped it away, looking back into her brothers eyes "In my life, Im no longer alone now that I came to Paris with you, but tell me now, tell me here."
Alexandre looked at his sister in sadness "Dear Annette, you're such a lonely girl, how pensive, how sad you seem to me, believe me, if it were in my power, I'd tell you all I knew, how quiet it must be, I can see, with only family for company" he finished.
"There's so little I know, that I'm longing to know of the things that you do when you go far from home, there's so little you say of the life that you lead, why you keep to yourself and wander always alone" she sang as tears freely poured down her cheeks "So dark, so dark indeed, the secrets that you keep" she sighed before continuing "In my life, please forgive what I say, you are loving and gentle and good, but Alexandre, dear Ale in your eyes I am still like that child you'd play with in the snow"
"No more words, no more words its a conversation that's dead, there are words, that are better unheard , better unsaid"
"In my life" she persisted whilst grabbing her brothers shoulder "I'm no longer a child and I year for the truth that you know, of the things, thing you do"
"Enough Annette, you look tired and - and I don't want to argue with you any longer, just go to bed and we'll talk tomorrow."
And with those words, he left Annette by herself once more, she wasn't surprised really, she was always by herself, but as the door closed and she stood there by herself, she could not help but let the sobs she had been holding back spring free.
As she lay in her bed before sleeping she though back to the events of her day and to the boys she had met, she though about how kind and welcoming most of them were, but then she thought back to her argument with her brother and how it seemed like everyone was keeping her in the dark, making her blow out the candle near her bed and fall back into her pillows while letting a sigh space her lips, before finally falling asleep.
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