TW: mentions of suicide
"How are we doing today Andi?"
"Meh"
"Same as always then" Ten wrote down a few notes on his paper.
"How much longer do we have to do this?"
"Not much longer, you've gotten really better over the past few months" Ten said excitedly.
"Doesn't feel like it"
"It might not, but look at this puppy" Ten tapped his pen on the picture of a teacup chihuahua that was laying on the table.
Andi smiled, picking up the picture. "It's cute"
"You wanna see your reaction from last year?"
Andi raised an eyebrow as Ten pulled out his laptop and picked out a video, showing a younger-ish Andi, staring unimpressed at the same picture.
"Oh ew, what was with that haircut" Andi laughed at their "stylish" neon teal hair.
"It kind of suited you"
"Nah, made me look like a bad anime character"
Ten chuckled, shutting off the laptop and sliding it back into his desk.
"Okay, anything new to talk about?"
"Nothing much"
"Any progress with Sarah?"
"Why would you ask that?" Andi waved him off, not wanting to talk about their crush.
"Hey, I wanna know"
"Yeah, it's your job"
"No, I want to know as your friend" Ten set down the clipboard, focusing his attention on Andi.
"Well..we went on a date"
"How did that go?"
"It was really nice, I got to hold her hand"
"But?"
"But she hasn't talked to me since last tuesday"
"And how does that make you feel?"
"Kinda worried"
"Kinda?"
"Okay, I'm really worried"
"About what?"
"I don't know how she's been doing"
"Couldn't you just ask?"
"I've tried, but she has really strict parents and they probably took her phone away"
"Hmm, how strict are her parents?"
"Like, they go through her phone every night"
Ten nodded, narrowing his eyes at the ground in thought.
"You should bring her here"
"What?"
"I want to talk to her for a bit"
"Okay, I'll ask after school tomorrow"
"Great, now w-" Ten was cut off by a short chime, signaling their session was over.
"Well, looks like we'll have to talk some more tomorrow"
"Okay, thanks" Andi smiled, leaving the room.
Ten sighed, grabbing a small black notebook and flipping to the sixteenth page.
He grabbed a blue marker and brought it to the half colored chart, coloring it to the seventy-five point mark.
"Only a little more" Ten smiled to himself, placing the notebook back into his desk and getting ready for his next appointment.
...
A few days later, Ten hadn't seen Andi anywhere, and he started to get worried. He called their mom but received no answer, no matter how many times he called her.
A knock was heard on Ten's door, turning his attention to it "Come in" He turned his attention to the person who walked in.
"Hi Mrs. San, how can I help you?"
"I'm sorry for not answering your calls, but I had a reason"
"It's not a problem, where's Andi?"
Mrs. San looked away, already tearing up.
"Uh, Mrs. San? Are you alright?"
"I apologize for not telling you sooner but.."
"But?"
"Andi, um, killed themself, three days ago"
"Oh..Mrs. San, I'm so sorry for your loss"
"No, no need for apologies, I should thank you. You really helped them"
"You're welcome, but how are you handling this?"
"Um, it's been okay"
"Are you sure?"
"..no"
"Alright, well, give me a second" Ten pulled out a pager, tapping a button and waiting for a few seconds.
The door opened, revealing a taller American man.
"Mrs. San, this is Mr. Suh, I think he could help you a lot"
"Oh, um okay"
"If you wouldn't mind coming with me, my office is just down the hall" Johnny took her hand, leading her out of the room.
Ten sighed, taking out the notebook and ripping out the sixteenth page, throwing it in the dustbin.
Blinking back tears, he took out his phone and quickly typed out a message to his friends.
He grabbed his jacket and slipped it on, almost running out of the room as he received an okay from them.
"Sorry Lilah, I'm gonna clock out early"
"You still have three appointments"
"I know, tell them I went on a vacation or something" Ten ran out of the building, trying not to bump into anyone.
As he arrived home, he accidentally slammed the door, knocking down a small white vase. He quickly looked at the shattered pieces before sweeping them up and shoving them in a bag.
"Yo, Ten, you in there?" A loud voice boomed through his door, followed by rapid knocking.
"Hold your tortoises, I'm coming" Ten opened the door to find his friends, holding various kinds of food and alcohol.
"Y'ALL READY TO GET CRUNK?!"
...
Ten groaned as sunlight beamed down directly into his eyes, forcing him to wake up.
He sat up slightly, taking in his surroundings. He was laying on the couch, almost bum naked, on top of some kind of cheese dust.
He walked around, observing his friends with a weirded out look.
All of his friends had found their way into some weird position.
Lucas was in the bathtub with around six pounds of glitter.
Hendery was lying on his stomach on the floor of the livingroom, mumbling something about beans.
Sicheng was standing up, swaying slightly to no music while he blinked slowly.
Yangyang had ended up in a cupboard, eating all of Ten's cookies.
Xiaojun was asleep in the guest bedroom like a normal human.
And Kun was outside on the doorstep, surrounded by stray cats.
a few hours of waking up and trying not to barf later, Ten pushed them out of his house, sighing in relief as the once noisy apartment was in silence once again.
He walked around, cleaning up any trash he found, but stopping when he came across the bag of broken vase pieces.
"I really liked that vase" Ten sighed, staring at the bag in his hands.
...
Placing the final piece in the glue, he stuck it in the small hole that remained in the vase.
Ten smiled at his work, it took hours but he fixed the vase.
"Probably the only thing I can fix"
Ten's expression had changed the moment he finished, he had literally nothing to do.
Then he had a thought which led him to the arts and crafts center at walmart.
He picked out a few wooden things, just to paint on, then he started looking at baby things and getting ideas, like what if he opened an etsy shop?
Let's just say he walked out of the store with more than a shopping cart full of stuff.
"This is gonna be fun!..I hope"
...
A few months later, Ten had forgotten all about his projects, but continued to buy things, hoping that one day he would have the motivation to start decorating them.
"Hey Te-woah what the hell happened?" Yangyang stared at the massive piles of undecorated wood, glass, and basically just trash that could be art.
"Nothing much, got bored"
"Why do you even have all of this?"
Ten shrugged before realizing he was late for something.
"Sorry, I gotta go pick up something"
A little less than an hour later, Ten bursted through the door.
"Jesus- Ten what is wrong with you?" Yangyang shook his head in disappointment seeing Ten drag in a large plastic box, overflowing with numerous colors of paint.
"Nothing's wrong..I think"
"Obviously there is"
"Nah"
"I'll call the guys, how about you go get some food?"
"Why would you call them?"
"I think we all wanna be here for this, now go" Yangyang pushed Ten out of the apartment, making the shorter trip over some rocks.
"Jeez"
...
"So, I didn't know what you wanted so I just got bur..gers" Ten looked confusedly around the room, seeing his friends sitting in a circle.
"What is this?" Ten asked, laughing nervously.
"Sit down, we gotta talk" Kun pulled Ten down to sit next to him.
"About what?"
"This. All of it" Xiaojun waved his arm at the surprisingly organized stacks of mess.
"I don't see the problem with it"
"How can you not? You can barely walk from here to the kitchen without stepping on a paint tube"
"It's not that messy"
"Yeah, yeah it is"
The others nodded in agreement.
"..okay, it's a little messy"
"Why are you doing this?" Lucas asked.
"What?"
"Why are you collecting all these things?"
"I was gonna break them"
"For what?"
"To fix them"
"Ten, are you alright?"
"I'm completely fine, just bored"
"I don't think you are"
"I am, I just lost motivation"
"But you kept buying things?"
"Everything seems so cute and breakable"
"Ten babe, you gotta understand, you can't fix everything" Hendery pat his shoulder.
"Don't you think I know that?!" Ten screeched, the others staring at him in shock.
"Do you know how many things I've tried to fix?!" Ten pulled out the notebook, showing them all the rip marks.
"Sixteen, and you know how many worked?"
"One! Out of all the people I've tried to fix, only one of them actually worked!"
"And that didn't last for even a month" Ten sobbed, gripping his hair.
"Hey, calm down" Sicheng rubbed his back, trying to comfort him but it didn't seem to be working.
"When did this all start?"
"A-Andi"
"Andi? Who's Andi?" Most of them shrugged in response, but Yangyang perked up at the name.
"Andi was one of your patients, right?"
Ten slightly nodded, still bawling his eyes out.
"Do you guys remember the news a few months ago?"
"Yeah, that teenager kil..oh" a small wave of realization hit the boys, who looked sympathetically at Ten.
"Why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you" Kun glanced at him with concerned eyes, wondering what he was really going through.
"Because that's not your-your job. I'm the therapist, I'm supposed to fix everyone"
"No, Ten, no. That's not on you" Xiaojun looked at him in disbelief, confused as why he was thinking like that.
"Ten, look at me" Xiaojun turned Ten to face him, cupping his cheeks.
"You're not supposed to fix people. You help them get better, not fix them completely. If they relapse then that's not your fault"
"But it is-"
"No, no it's not. None of us blame you for anyone dying"
"Do you understand?"
Ten stayed silent, staring woefully at the ground
"Ten, do you understand me?"
Ten nodded slightly, swiping some tears away.
"Do you want help cleaning this up?" Lucas asked.
"Yes please"
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hear me out
grapes be kinda tastin weird
but grape flavored anything is the shit
oops