Ayomiposi Faleye's middle name could be dubbed Insecurity and it would suit her perfectly. Battered by her mother's verbal abuses and her father's abandonment, she longs for something or someone that can fill that void and replace the uncertainty sh...
Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. --1 John 3:1 (KJV)
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
When they were done with their food, the trio decided to do the clean up together. A water fight almost broke out before they decided that wasting water wasn't a wise decision.
After finally cleaning up, they settled in the living room chatting before Posi cleared her throat making the two look in her direction.
"I just want to say thank you to you guys for being here for me. I don't know what I'd have done without you," Posi said with a watery smile on her face. Funmi just squeezed her hands while Gerald patted her in the head.
She sniffled and began to wring her fingers. "I know Funmi must have told you what happened," she said without looking up. But they all knew who she was addressing.
"Anyways, during the period that my mother was depressed, my father got fed up with the situation and he wasn't also a strong-willed person. So, when his mum, my grandmother, brought up the idea of another wife again, he succumbed pretty fast and went on to have another family. He continued to check on me as I grew but I couldn't stand seeing him so I cut off from him. My mother blamed me for my dad's abandonment. And I in turn blamed myself for being unworthy of love and affection."
"My self-esteem has been at ground zero for years. And the only way I knew to protect myself was to push everyone away, just to avoid getting hurt. Again. At some point, I considered going for therapy but I couldn't still find it in me to take that step and there was no one to push me towards it."
Wringing her fingers, she continued, "You two however seemed to not take no for an answer, no matter what I did to push you away. And I'm grateful. Because of you, I haven't been too lonely or alone."
As Posi finished her story, she finally summoned on all the courage she had and looked up. What she saw blew her away. Her friends were wiping off their own tears as they looked at her with what seemed like thirty-three years' worth of love and affection.
She could feel the remainder of Fort Posi cracking and shaking from the very foundation. All her fears and insecurities were rattling at what she felt was real love. The two stood from where they were and came to her. They held her hands and began to whisper again in that alien language she was growing to love.
The same feeling of peace she felt the previous night descended on her again. Peace. Peace she hadn't felt for years. Peace she couldn't explain with words. Peace that she needed. No, peace that she wanted.
All of a sudden, she spoke. "I want this. I had a very frightening nightmare the other night. I don't want that again. I don't want to feel unwanted anymore. I don't want to feel like a cracked piece waiting to shatter anymore. I want this peace I felt and I'm still feeling right now. I want the peace I see on your faces and even on Toyin's face. I want that. How do I get it? Show me how?" Her broken voice was almost pleading as she looked from one to the other.
