Ayomiposi Faleye's middle name could be dubbed Insecurity and it would suit her perfectly. Battered by her mother's verbal abuses and her father's abandonment, she longs for something or someone that can fill that void and replace the uncertainty sh...
Dedicated to chidihc❤❤ • I am suffering and in pain. Rescue me, O God, by your saving power. --Psalms 69:29 (NLT)
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"I'm so glad you could make it. And I'm sorry for disrupting your plans," Posi all but cried out as she ushered Funmi into her two-bedroom apartment.
She had just arrived from her studio when she heard her door bell ring.
"Babe, what are you talking about? I'm always here for you. Nothing is too important that I won't be able to make time for you," Funmi replied.
Posi knew her friend was watching her, scrutinizing every move she made. Funmi was very perceptive and she was sure she'd figure out that something was seriously wrong soon enough.
Funmi's hold on her hands brought her back to the present and she looked up to see a sheen of tears in her friend's eyes.
"Babe, what's happening? What's really going on?"
Before Posi knew what was happening, she broke into tears with shudders as if she was in physical pain. Funmi moved closer to her and hugged her tight through the moment, not saying a word. She just rocked her back and forth like a mother would.
After the tears had subsided, Funmi cut off tissues that had somehow found itself on the centre table before handing them to Posi. As she tried to compose herself, Posi shifted in her seat and cleaned up her tear-stricken face.
She had put on a strong front too long and Fort Posi was on the verge of collapsing -- if it already hadn't. The whir of the air conditioner could be heard in the silence as Posi tried her utmost to keep her roaring emotions at bay enough to tell her friend what was wrong.
With a little straightening of her back and a last sniffle, she began.
"I was thirteen when my mum decided to tell me what I really meant to her. As a young child, I had always wondered why my parents felt the 'un-need' to love me like I had seen with my friends' families and even my cousins'."
She paused, sending a quick glance in her friend's direction. All she saw was love and empathy. It was almost like her friend could feel the physical turmoil she was in. And that encouraged her to continue.
The piece of tissue in her hands was already in tatters with the way she squeezed, twisted and moved it from one hand to the other. She sniffled, took a long breath and continued.
"Apparently, my parents had been married for about two years when my father's family began to ask questions about when my mother was going to deliver a child and most importantly, a heir to carry on the family name. There was added pressure because my father was the only son on his side of the family. My paternal grandmother had been a very peculiar custom-made thorn in her side. So there was great joy when my mum finally conceived. But the joy of her conception was soon eclipsed by the discovery that it was to be a baby girl. It had been a disappointment to both my grandmother and my mother too."
