Nah, She Didn't

~ Part 82 ~ HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND OR ANY OTHER HOLIDAYS YOU CELEBRATE! ~

Workin' For A Livin' - Huey Lewis & The News

-Lily POV-

To sum up last night, I can confidently say that it was one of the worst nights possible. I had just ran off away from James after his confession of love.

I had run off.

It was an emotional roller coaster. But not one of those roller coasters where there were high points, no. Only low points. I just kept feeling worse and worse.

There were many reasons I was upset.

One was, now that I had thought about Petunia and Severus, more and more memories had just rolled on in and they were haunting me. Which was hard. I had built a dam in my mind, blocking all of those thoughts. But now one memory had gotten through, and my mind had started flooding.

Two, because my thoughts also kept wandering to James's face. Those broken, hazel eyes. My heart clenched at the fact that I was the cause behind that heartbroken expression. I was the culprit.

And three because I just couldn't wrap my mind around it all.

Did I love him back?

I blinked, forcing my mind to focus on the task at hand. I searched my room for anything else I might need to take home. I snapped my fingers. Of course! My wand.

It was the Saturday morning after the ball, and the train for those leaving to go home was setting off at 11 in the morning. It was 10:30, so I should probably be down in the Great Hall right about now.

I hurriedly open my bedroom door and walk down the stairs, levitating my trunk behind me. I keep my eyes on the ground, not wanting to look up in fear of seeing James.

I dropped off my trunk with Filch, who always took the luggage to the train.

Once I reached the Great Hall, I let out a breath when saw that James wasn't there yet. I walked forward a sat down. I let my head rest on my fists, and I realize how sleepy I am.

"You look bad, hun," I hear someone comment. I look up tiredly at Marlene.

"Thanks," I mumble with no emotion.

Marlene scrutinizes my face. "Does this have something to do with when you ran out at the ball?"

"Yep," I reply blankly.

"Did you sleep at all last night? You have bags under your eyes... what happened?" She asks earnestly.

"I'd rather not talk about it," I mutter. And before Marlene can respond, the rest of the group start coming in and sitting down, and a bunch of chatter starts.

"The ball was so fun last night!"

"Oh, who are you kidding, you both left halfway through the couples dance to go snog in a broom closet!"

"No, I'm obviously a better dancer. I mean, did you see my moves on the dance floor last night?"

"Psh, as if."

"Lily, you look awful!"

"Bloody hell, I'm beat. If I'd have known the ball would last 'til midnight, I wouldn't've pulled an all nighter the night before!"

I just ignore it all, staring into the oblivion, feeling overall miserable.

I stop breathing as I feel James sit down to the right of me. I swallow, my heart beating a hundred miles a minute.

I just stare forward, not allowing myself to look at him.

The next bit was a blur. Dumbledore wishing us a Happy Christmas; me following the crowd to the carriages; stepping onto the train; Marlene leading me to the Marauders compartment.