Marvel Oneshots

The Shaved Beard

'Twas a quiet day at the Avengers Tower. Clint was in the vents, Thor was eating pop tarts, and Peter was on the ceiling. Later that day there was a meeting on patrols.

However, in the bathroom was a man, I famous for his classic and well shaped beard. That man decided to shave his beard. Just to try something new. He went down to the lab and worked until it was time to go to the meeting.

He was a little late...

Everyone was already there...

One foot was in the room...

Then everyone saw the shaven face of...

Antony Edward Stark!

Everyone was screaming.

Peter screamed and fell off the ceiling.

Thor smashed pop tarts into his eyes.

Bruce turned into the Hulk and smashed through the widow.

The Guardians ran out of the room, hopped on their ship, and flew out of the solar system.

Clint snapped all of his arrows in half.

Cap ran to the Alps and used his shield as a sled.

Vision turned into a toaster.

Wanda tried to fix Vision by turning him off and then turning him back on again. It didn't work.

Natasha just sat back and watched everything happen.

Goose tried to eat Toaster Vision but Toaster Vision fought back with lasers.

Doctor Strange quit being an Avenger and went back to being a doctor.

Pepper ran off with Tony's Alpaca.

Scott reincarnated Antony through a satanic ritual and flew away on him.

Hope, who recently got a stinger added to her suit, stung Fury.

Fury shouted Motherf*cker more than he ever did in all of the Avenger movies.

Captain Marvel randomly sprayed Peppermint into the air which caused Peter to jump out of the window and swing off to his spider friends, leaving the Avengers behind.

In the midst of this Valkyrie walked in with a drink in hand. She looked at Tony dead in the eye, ignoring everything else that was happening in the room.

"Who's the new guy?" She asked.

And the chaos continued.

Some say it was the Civil War that broke up the Avengers but in fact... it was that Antony Edward Stark...

Shaved His Beard