Broken

Chapter 52

My Life!

My head is pounding and I have a bitter after taste in my mouth. I rubbed my eyes and let them adjust to the lighting.

What did I do yesterday?

Take about dejavu I always ask myself that eveyday. I got up and realized yet again I'm in another room with another girl. I got up quietly and changed quickly. These new drugs seem to bring me higher confidence I never thought I had. The beer is an extra plus to me having fun. I rely more on the drugs though, I don't want to have a beer belly. Now, to get home to my girl.

Why is still with me?

Cause you scare her!

Oh yeah. Eh.

-

"Riley?" I Called out and I didn't even have to call her twice.

"H - hey river," She greeted putting on a smile for me. I have her wrapped around my finger. I love it and hate it because I know she's putting up an act. Fucken pisses me off.

"Why do you keep fucken studdering," I growled making her flinch.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize, " I bit back.

"River, my parents want me to visit then and there growing concern-"

"It's not like they ever cared for you so why now. Unless it's just an excuse to go see them and stay there. I'll remind you i have no problem in hurting anyone that tries to take you away from me. I will hurt anyone," I threatened referring to her parents.

"There my parents, " She countered. Oh... someone's feeling brave! I walked up closer to her and slapped her across the face. She stayed on the floor and held on to her cheek.

"Your not going to see them so stop bugging me about it!" I snarled and walked away. Why does she test my patience? She should know better by now. Just then I heard the door bell ringing and went to go answer it. I smirked seeing Julie had stopped by. The only reason why I like having Julie around is because she is bi sexual and I've had a fantasty in having a threesome.

"Is she finally up for it?" Julie asked. I told her to hold a minute and went to go look for Riley. I opened the bathroom door and noticed her sobbing. The water was running in the sink and she was spitting out blood. My heart broke seeing that and I had a change of heart for a moment. I closed the door and felt like crap. I told Julie to go away, maybe later on but right now is not the time. That day i took care of Riley. I apologized and promised I would never hit her again. My only question is... how long will that promise last this time. I care for her and love her but my temper. The drugs is a must to get better at football. The only good thing my dad ever did for me was pushing me into using steriods. I've improved massively in football and I'm quite proud. Sometimes I regret what choice I went with, but what's done is done. I can't just stop using them... i can't.  Especially not now that Nathan joined the football team. I hate him because he's got speed and knowledge in reading plays fast. But im stronger- waaaay stronger and able to break a tackle or holds. That where the steriods help me.

"Riley go to sleep babe," I murmured and kissed her forhead. She fell asleep in an instant but something seemed off about her. She looks a bit pale and skinnier. Come to think about it is this the first time I'm noticing things about her. I've been such a terrible boyfriend, but she had to understand I can't control my temper.  I wouldn't say I'm abusive, just have an anger issue. Either way we love each other and that's what matters. I caressed her cheek and cuddled next to her. This girl is truly worth more than any other girl I've been with. I need to try and control my anger because lately I've been having black outs when I get mad. Before brandons party I started getting them. Damn. Like memories come and go sometimes especially from all the rough sex I have sometimes.

"River! Your an amazing guy to fuck with."

Usually I hear that every now and then but I have needs. If it means having to have sex with multiple women in order to not rape Riley again... then I'm willing to go with other women. I have needs and Riley could never forgive me for what I did to her. I know she didn't really forgive me and I understand that. I feel awful for that. Like right now I'm feeling in the mood. I grabbed my phone and my car keys.

"Laurie hey you free tonight... perfect."

That night I released the beast inside of me and both me and laurie were satisfied. I'll admit it I'm a sex addict. I've tried to control it but it's hard. It's all i think about sometimes but I'm able to put it aside sometimes at pratice. I even find Candice very attractive who knows maybe something can happen.  Even zoella is hot but she's pregnant so no. Riley though is banging but I'll give her space since I've been nothing but a deuce to her. She deserves peace and sometime to herself.