Broken

Chapter 37

My head.. Why does it hurt so badly? I should get up. Wait why can't I wake up?

" Thanks again brad. Whatever he was given almost got him an overdose."

I was DRUGGED? Clearly I know myself and I don't do drugs or pills. None of that shit will benefit me and sure as hell won't consume me like it has to Kyle.

"Zoella is actually here to see him."

Crap. I don't want her to see me like this, especially not since I walked out on her. God I must look like the worlds biggest wuss. One thing that kills me and will forever haunt me is the way she looked at me that night. I do love her, but... I panicked. I wasn't expecting that and it's like I giving up my youth. I didn't want my freedom to of been taken like that. Of course I wasn't thinking clearly. But when Dylan called me that night telling me it was urgent I had a lot of thinking to do. I punched him on the shoulder once I realized it was just to attend a party. I only stayed because for a while we played football. Then my friends would pass me beer and I would refuse some. Keyword being some, but I gave in since I wanted to live up a little. I don't remember what happened that night, but I doubt I did much. I just want to live up while I can. I use to do so much before me and Zoella started dating. Even before I met her. I wasn't happy, but I was able to do much. You sound like a complete asshole. Yeah I do...

I'm just so out of it and especially now. Fuck!

"Brandon. Hey I know your sleeping, but I don't know how to feel right now... Why? At a time like this, why would you get scared? It's not the end of the world having a kid and I want you to see that. If anything a child is a blessing. I want to give this baby something we both didn't have... a father."

I felt my fist clenching a bit. I was angry at myself that I turned to brad for help, but he was the only person I could turn to at the time.

"You should really try to make baby steps in talking with your dad. Atleast one of us can... I wish my dad wouldn't hate me so much and wpuld try to better our relationship as father and daughter. You know he would prefer a case of beer over me. It's quite a shitty feelings I've grown to accept-even though not fully. You have a chance to try and amend what you longed for. I know you've wanted this since I'm good at reading people. Just attempt to. Even though we're not together I want you to be happy."

Wait what? Aren't we still a couple....? Then again I walked out on her and never once called or replied to her text messages. I am a dick. She deserves someone better.

"Sometimes I just think you wanted me for the sex. I know it's stupid to think about that, but it crosses my mind and I can't help, but think if it's true or not? " She let out a humorless laugh and I can tell her mood was talking a turn for the worst.

"I actually thought that maybe you might jump up of joy and make another round of soup. I know crazy right. I'm sorry though for destroying your life, but I promise to stay out of it from now on. I don't plan on risking getting hurt so I made the choice of moving away and If you choose to be apart of atleast his or her life I won't object to letting you visit him or her. Goodbye brandon," she softly whispered.

No! Don't go! Fuck why can't I move. Zoella don't go!

"NO!" I yelled surprising myself and Zoella. She stood their shocked and confused.

"Brandon-"

"Don't go," I pleaded sounding exhausted. My throat started to sting and I realized just how dehydrated I really was. I was trying to rub my throat but it really did hurt. Zoella grabbed a water bottle out of her bag and handed it to me. I chugged down the whole water bottle. That seemed to do the trick.

"Zoella don't go," I repeated again holding her.

"Brandon I can't stay here for my sake and my baby's-

"Our baby," I blurted out defensive. Maybe I'm not ready and maybe it might seem like our lives will change but I'm not about to abondon her again.

"I.... Where is this coming from?" She asked confused.

"Zoella.. I'm not about to abondon you again and it was wrong of me to do that, but you can't blame me for panicking. It was as if all the fun days will no longer exsist-"

"Baby's aren't buzz killers or a misfortune!" She scowled smacking me upside the head. Is it weird to admit that I missed her hitting me.

"I know, but that's what crossed my mind... Also don't you ever dare think i only wanted you for my own pleasures. I want you to be happy and about my da- brad... I want to fix things but at my own pace."

She nodded her head in understandment and smiled at me. She looked nice, but it was evident that she was exhausted.

"Lay in bed with me because we both need the rest," to my surprise she did object and I'm glad. Everything feels right again, but something told me this was the begining to our many problems. Not that the baby was a problem, but people who surrounded us like Kyle, Myra, Zoella's parents, and brad. So many problems to deal with, but I know we'll get through them.

I pecked her lips and wrapped my arm gentle around her stomach. I missed her and the smell of her perfume. Also the Smell of her hair which by the way smells like one of those candle scents of some passion fruit.

"So does that mean were together, " she asked and yawned afterwards.

"Always and forever babe," I murmured covering us in my sheets.