Broken

Chapter 35

I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt myself breathing unevenly.  Brandon... What does he want. Maybe he's going to confirm what I hope for-or.... what I fear.

Shaking away my thoughts and I stood up to go change into some pants. Whatever he says it'll still be the start of something new. No matter how hard life gets I'll pull through... just for you my child.

After I got ready I walked out the door and read the next text he had sent me.

Message: Unknown
Met me by the cafè down town.

Lucky me I just have to take the bus there.  As long as we talk things out anything is worth it. I need to know. Maybe he might not be ready and I'll understand it, but I just want to hear it from him. I don't expect him to exactly warm up to the idea right away. It took me by surprise too, but never for a moment did I ever think to get rid of him or her.

I still remember that night and honestly we probably rushed into getting intimate, but it wasn't planned. That's the great thing about it. It was unexpected and we both wanted it. I truly do love him and I'm starting to realize how much his presence really effects me. I'm more happier and peppy, but without him I force myself to look happy. Truth is I was never happy since I was six, but Brandon has managed to make my fake smiles turn into real ones. Depending on someone can either destroy you or strengthen you. Sounds silly, but it's true. He helped me gain strength by bringing  out some confidence in me. "Never think your below anyone  because that alone can side track you"  He would say.

We've actually helped eachother. Also his break up with mayra. Then their was that time when Carole was starting to date, of course only Lucas, and Brandon was pist. I guess he thought his dad would still comeback, but eventually he warmed up to lucas since they have alot of common interest. No shocker the main topic was football.  Then the situation with his real father. In a way I can relate since my dads shunned me out of his life and he's physically here, but mentally and emotionally he's gone. Wishing it wasn't like that would not change him. Sighing I got off the bus and spotted the down town Cafè. I walked toward the little building and some flashbacks came flooding in.

~8th grade~

"Zoella. Zoella... PPSSstt! " groaning I realized this boy will not stop bothering me. I had already told him to let me do the work so we wouldn't have to work together for the next week. This assignment is so easy and I could get it done by today if I concentrate. Apparently that was too much to ask for when I asked him to stop bothering me five  mintues ago. Boys will be boys.

"What?!?!" I snapped loudly getting attention from the classroom  and the teacher. Crap! I just hate it when everyone is silent and starring at you oddly. It's just weird and uncomfortable.  Then again I just yelled at Brandon and it might seem randomly to others. Ms. Goodman cleared her throat and raised her bushy eyebrows at us. Almost as if she's expecting us to explain my sudden outburst? Oh Crap! She really wants us to explain! Uh.. Uh. What can I say.

"Sorry Ms. Goodman, I told Zoella that there was a rat by her-"
Ms. Goodman hopped on her desk and had a major ear piercing scream. For a moment I thought I had gone death.

"What is going on," The next door teacher asked walking in. I glared at Brandon since everyone was looking at Ms. Goodman. Some girls even started freaking out.
"Smooth" I mouthed rolling my eyes at brandon. I felt guilty to be honest, but I was grateful. I was so glad that the bell had rung. Everything was still chaotic and it was hard to get out. Just then someone grabbed my wrist and practically pulled me out the back door. Everyone was distracted running out and talking so they paid no attnetion to me. Seriously?!?! I could be getting kidnapped and they wouldn't notice. Just wow. I was able to yell once we were by the halls downstairs Until I saw Brandon. He let go and started laughing. I'm guessing he's been holding it in. I cleared my thought and crossed my arms across my chest. He poked my cheek to make me smile, but I smacked his finger away.

"We could of gotten in trouble," I remarked still feeling a little shakey. I honestly don't know why I'm shakey. Probably cause I thought we were going to get introuble and they would of called my mom. I really don't want her to hit me again. One beating a day is enough.

"But we didn't," he replied with that goofy smile of his. I rolled my eyes at him, but gave him a side smile.

"Are you lesbian, " He asked randomly catching me by surprise. 

"What," I yelled outraged and confused like the first time. That is kind of tone I used in class.

"Well you seem to hate men. I can tell by the way you only interact with girls-"

"I'm not lesbian. Don't assume things and  you more then anyone know there are always  reason to our actions." I scowled.  Once he didn't reply I looked up and saw his smile was gone and his eyes dimmed a little. It's as if something was wrong with him. I patted his shoulder since he seemed to be off in his own little world.

"Brandon?" I spoke quietly trying to catch his attention.

"Hey Brandon," I heard Myra say. Once Brandon heard her voice he rolled his eyes. Something tells me he doesn't like her.

"I-I called you last night and-"

"What type of we're over did you not understand? God Myra just leave me alone and go on to your next fuck buddy," he snapped giving her a disgusted look. She didn't seem fazed by it and had a bored look.

"Things didn't-"

"Well I can give two shits about it now," he growled walking away. Wow. I have never seen him mad. Well then again I barely met him.

"Are you his next whore. I'm warning you to stay away from him. He's mine and he loves me and I love him too," she blabbed on. What the fuck?

"I'm not a whore and you don't know anything about me so fuck off. You love him huh?"  She nodded her head and crossed her arms.  "Well you have a funny way of showing it."
Of course I left since I had other stuff to attend to. I wonder if he's okay... Wait! Why do you care Zoella!?!
Ugh I don't... Okay maybe I do. I can't help it he... well he is annoying, goofy, but something else. I can't explain it.

~~~~~~

That's the day my views on him changed because their was more to him. It was hard though because it would piss me off when he would go around having sex with every girl.

~~~

Sighing I got up to use the bathroom. I hated the bathrooms in this building but I really have to go. I entered the bathroom and went in the stall. I got out once I was done and washed my hands.  Just then I heard low murmurs and moans?  Oh please tell me someone isn't having sex?!?
Just then Brandon came out making out with lily. Her hair was messed up and so was his. Ew!

"Call me tonight," she murmured pecking his lip. He smirked at her and laughed.

"You know there is no chance of us ever being a couple. The oral sex was good, but..."

I walked out grossed out and dissapointed in him. Just cause Myra hurt him doesn't mean he can charm a girl and break her heart.

"Zoella, " I heard him call. I continued walking not bothering to stop for him.

"Look don't get jealous-"

"Do you always think every girl wants you. Your not the only guy, but you are the many I would never date, " I growled aggravated.

"Chill. It's just a joke," he murmured sighing. Whatever. I continued walking and entered class.

~~~~

I sat down and waited for him. I started scrolling through my phone until I felt a presence by me. I looked up and for some reason. I couldn't look away. I was at lost for words in the moment.

"I'm glad you came."

"Your not brandon," I commented.