Sander Sides Oneshots (Requests Open)

A/N

So yesturday I posted that I was a horrible kid, a horrible child. That I had made my mother cry

Here is what happened

So it is no surprise that I'm super insecure about my body. And I was putting something down and my wrist was bent weird so I couldnt move it. I let out a noise, a mix of pain (cause my wrist was bent) and annoyance. My mom laughed and I can't remember the word she used, but for a person of my age, I know I should probably be stronger. Plus me being above average height for my age group.

So whenever someone teases me, even jokingly, about my eating habits because I'm kind of picky, or that I can't lift something that is literally my weight (over 100 pounds) I get a bit defensive and upset. Whenever I'm teased about being picky, it makes me feel like I need to eat what everyone else is eating even though I don't like it or can't eat that much.

So when my mom teased me about my wrist being stuck, I got upset. Because I know I'm not as strong as I should be for my age.

I got upset, she felt bad, and at that moment I did not want to be touched.

Sometimes when I'm upset, a hug is all I need to feel better. Other times, a hug only makes things worse for me. So naturally in that moment, I pulled away. I didnt want to be touched. I was upset.

But she didn't know WHY I was upset because I wasnt saying anything.

She was crying, I felt bad, but I still didnt want to be touched that much.

Why does NO ONE understand that I don't want to be touched sometimes? I mean...after...wait no one here knows about that, shit...well something happened last year and for about 3 months after, I didnt really want to be hugged or touched at all.

Yet I was forced to give hugs, take hugs, and deal with it. Even when I was almost in tears because I didnt want anyone to touch me.

Anyways, after my mom and I talked, I went to my room and heard her crying, telling her boyfriend something. That was when I made the post. And I told my bestfriend.

But tell me, what is so bad about not wanting a hug after someone makes you feel like you're not as able as others? Would you want to hug someone after they full on called you fat? Hell no!

Maybe I'm just sensitive. But at my dads house, I'm always body shamed and everything. It seems that nothing about my personality or body is good enough. Yet I'm always told I need to wear dresses.

And the one dress I have there, I don't want to wear for one reason. It's too short. The end is above my knees. The only way I can even sort of be comfortable in it is if I'm wearing the  high heeled boots I have. But im already pretty tall. Like when I wear the high heels I'm taller then my dad

Ok so for comparison. I'm 5'7ish. My brother who is two years older then me is half an inch to an inch taller then me. My dad is 5'9. My mom is 5'11. My stepmom is 5'5, my younger brother (5 years younger) and step brother (2 years younger) are both about 5'1ish, I think. And my younger stepsister (5 years younger) is like 5' or 4'11 and my baby stepsister (7 years younger then me) is probably like 4'8.

Sp as you can tell, my mom is tall and the rest of us arent. My brother and I have my moms height. So when I wear heels, I'm the same height or taller then my dad. I'm already taller then my stepmom, as is my brother.

But anyways the dress. I do not like short dresses. It needs to be past my knees or I feel uncomfortable wearing it, at least without legging. And that dress is like skin tight. So...yeah I don't like it that much. And heels make it even worse. I feel like I look like a slut.

Oh expect one thing. On picture day at my school, my dad and stepmom made me wear the dress and heels. My crush and I are pretty good friends and apparently when she saw me, the first thing she thought was

Are you ready for this? Because it shocked me

Sexy

She thought I looked sexy. And I'm like the least attractive person I know, all my friends are cute and pretty and im over here like...like a freaking goblin. But my crush thought it looked hot and that was honestly the most exciting thing ever.

This happened before anyone knew I even had a crush on her. So it wasn't like she knew I liked her. Because I didnt tell her for another 3 whole months.

That was the only good thing to happen in that dress. Getting called hot by my crush. Thankfully none of the boys were looking at me, I think I was wearing black tights or leggings, I don't really remember.

But anyways, that's why i posted i was a horrible child. I went on a very long bunny trail, holy shit

Eh whatever

Hope you have a great day/night
Love you all so much!
Bye!❤❤❤