Sander Sides Oneshots (Requests Open)

Oh boy, vent time

leave if panic attack, dysphoria, transphobia (is that what's it called if its towards non binary people?) things like that upset you

Vent time

On monday was my first day back to school. I was there 9-3, or at least I was supposed to be. I only had two classes, English and Math. English was mostly reading then catching up with my friends. But Math...math was hard.

I had a panic attack about 20 minutes into that class. Didn't help that I had also had a dysphoria attack late the night before and earlier that morning. My bestfriend, bless her soul, was so helpful and if she weren't there, I dont know what might have happened. I was shaking, sobbing. I couldnt breathe. I couldnt focus. She gave me my headphones, she got me water. She held me and told me i was ok.

But i also think i hurt my guy bestfriend a bit. So my guy best friend...uh, he had a huge crush on me for almost two years now, so since we met. And on monday, I was talking to one of my friends who knows I have a huge crush on one of the girls in my class, my bestfriend of almost 4 years. But my dumbass forgot my bestfriend liked me and probably was still a bit broken from when I rejected him...

He looked so fucking sad and i felt so bad!!!! I felt like a horrible person. Like he had been looking at me, then looked down at his desk with a sad look.

Like fuck! Damnit, Parker, havent you hurt the poor boy enough?! I felt so insensitive and rude, because I was telling my friend how my crush and I may start dating one day, based on something she had said

(i have a few chapters about it in my vent book, where I go into more detail about both my guy bestie and I's relationship and my crush and I's history, plus the conversation she told me she wanted to date me)

Anyways, all the stress, anxiety and everything packed up sent me spiraling. But I'm so glad my bestfriend was there, I really needed her beside me at that moment and she means so much to me. I love her so much, and I hope we never split

And when I came out on here, saying that my name was Parker on pride, I swear, you all made me cry with your kind words. I'm not even kidding, I was in my kitchen squealing like a child and crying because I was so happy

And I've started looking at binders, because...well yeah. That was the cause of both my dysphoria attacks. On monday, not having anything to bind with, I just wore a baggy shirt and baggy hoodie. But it still didnt do much and that made me really upset. Like I almost broke in tears talking to my bestfriend about it. She knows and is super supportive and loving about me being non binary, which made me really happy

Not many people know, expect for my bestest friend, one of my other bestfriends and a girl I'm pretty close with. I told her cause I know she'd be supportive, since I talk to her alot about my crush and she's bi. We make alot of gay jokes together honestly

On the first day back at school, I'm most likely going to say my name is Parker, because...I don't understand it but lately I really, and i mean REALLY, hate my dead name.

I didnt take pictures of amit, but my sister has TikTok and since I changed my username on it and se noticed, she made a big deal about it. She called me my dead name because I asked her not to call me it

The conversation went something like this
Her
Me

Chloe changing your name on here won't stop us from finding your videos
I didnt change my name so you couldnt find my account, I changed it because Chloe isnt my name anymore
You can't change your name, your name is Chloe
No it isnt, please stop calling me that
I'll ask Jamie(my dad)
Please don't call me Chloe anymore, my name is Parker
CHLOE😂😂😂

No joke, that's what she said. After that I just blocked her because I'm not dealing with her anymore. Like I get it, she's 8 and Christian like the rest of my homophobic asshole of a family. But that doesnt give her the right to completely ignore the fact that I asked her NOT to call me that. Like that isnt my damn name anymore, bitch!

Sorry she makes me really angry.

But anyways, I'm still really annoyed about the whole thing and FUCK! I just remembered my brothers are getting back from my dads tomorrow, shit! And I'm going to his house on Sunday, damnit! I don't want to talk to them about this, UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

My family kinda sucks. They are not going to be happy about me being...well me now

But I don't really care what they say, I am like one homophobic thing from moving back with my mom full time at this point. So if they be assholes about me and my new name, I'm going to LOSE. MY. SHIT

Thanks for reading...uh...I'm a mess?