Closer

192.

"We really should sleep so we can do some work tomorrow before going out," Eddy sighed, leaning down to kiss the top of Brett's head.

Brett loved resting against Eddy, loved feeling his arms wrapped tightly and safely around him, loved the small touches to his hair, his cheek or a kiss to the forehead. He wanted to experience all of it, but the calmness surrounding them after sex made him so sleepy it was almost impossible to stay awake.

"Yeah, but this is so nice. It feels nice to be held," Brett mumbled into Eddy's collarbone, sliding his arm around his torso to hug him like a teddy bear. "It's tiring to bottom."

"Tell me about it," Eddy chuckled jokingly, stroking his back gently. He had held Brett upright most of the shower after, he had cleaned him and he had dried him off before carrying him to bed and wrapped the covers around them both. It had been a nice change to how it was when Eddy bottomed. "We should do it like this more often."

Brett hesitated a bit too long before answering, making Eddy move to be able to see his face behind the still moist bangs hanging loosely down his forehead.
"If you want," Brett finally said, burying his face in Eddy's chest. It was stupid how nervous he got. He knew Eddy would be careful with him every time.

"I mean... Only if you like it like this? I don't mind b..." Eddy began, but Brett interrupted him before he could finish. He didn't want Eddy to bury himself into a hole when everything had been so perfect a moment ago.

"I'm just nervous about it because of some stuff that happened a long time ago that's got nothing to do with you. I'm still letting it affect me, which is stupid," he explained quickly, shaking his head with a sigh. "I'm sorry, it's... It's nothing. It felt good, I like it like this too. You take good care of me."

Eddy paused for a bit, considering what he was told for a bit.
"Is... I mean, is it the same thing that made you not want to bottom when we... Uh... Started out?" he asked, trying to find a way to ask about it that wasn't too forward. This was obviously something Brett wasn't completely comfortable talking about.

Brett sighed, resting his head heavily on Eddy's chest again. Might as well tell him now that he had figured out this much. He felt the nerves tighten, though.
"I guess so, yeah," he mumbled, feeling Eddy carefully run his hand through the hairs in the back of his neck. It helped him calm down, like Eddy probably knew it would. "Remember Norway? I mean, while on tour?"

Eddy nodded, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head.
"Of course," Eddy said, smiling into his hair. "The snow was really nice, and the hotel wasn't awful either."

"Remember... uh... the club we went to?" Brett asked quietly, shifting slightly so he could look up at Eddy. "The lgbt-friendly one."

"The one where you danced with that guy with pastel hair?" Eddy asked, caressing Brett's cheek carefully with his thumb. He could feel how nervous Brett was telling him this, and it in turn made Eddy nervous about what it could be that was so difficult for him to talk about.

"Yeah, Kevin," Brett said, licking his lips. "After you went home, he asked me to come home with him. And I did, because he was kinda cute and I was kinda horny."

Eddy nodded again, seeing how Brett's lower lip quivered. He was either about to cry or insanely nervous, or likely both.

"And uh, he didn't want to bottom so... I guess I could have said no, but I figured he'd be careful knowing I hadn't... I mean, I had no experience with bottoming at all," Brett mumbled, his voice breaking up at the end.

"Did he hurt you?" Eddy asked, hugging Brett tightly to his chest now. He felt the need to protect him despite this all happening more than a year ago.

"I mean... Yeah? But not on purpose, I think. He was just... Just really drunk," Brett mumbled, a few tears threatening to force their way out. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. It was years ago, and Eddy wouldn't do that. "It's okay, I know... I know you would never..."

"You're right. I would never. God, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if I did," Eddy sighed, kissing Brett's forehead lovingly. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, baby. I promise, something mile that will never happen again ever."

"Thank you, Eddy. I love you."